No Logic for the Heart
by DemonFeatherPen
Summary: A Slash story... NoCo... Noah has issues dealing with his feelings for Cody... Izzies pressure, Cody's attempts at repairing their friendship, as well as a Camper's advances causes him to be thrown into a problem his logic can't fix...
1. Every Story

_**A/N: **Sucks there aren't as many NoCo stories as there should be… They are the two best characters in the show (I have a complete love for geeks with brains lol)… as well as polar opposites… Noah cold self important jerk… Cody caring friendly clutz… Plus the couple might as well be cannon… They kissed, cuddled (Twice) and they spend a lot of time together… I dunno if it's just me but come on… After all it's amazing that it happened with my two fav characters XD… Nothing is sexier than two nerds falling for each other lol… But any way a summary to begin the story so you can decide if you want to read lol._

**_Summary:_**_ Noah is having a hard time suppressing his feelings for cody… some one who he actually enjoys spending time with… but because no one truly knows he's gay at home he tries to hide it because his parents would disown him if they ever found out… dealing with Izzy's constant Nagging, Cody's adorable obsession with fixing the friendship and one other camper's advances he is thrown into the midst of confusion... a confusion that logic won't be able to help him with._

**_**Don't read if you don't like Boy love… seriously**_**

_(Do not own Any of the total drama Island/action/world tour characters.)_

_Rated T for teen_

**Chapter one: Every story**

"_Every story in existence has three things, A beginning a middle and an end. Mine is no different, I write this in hopes of seeing where my End has brought me. Or is it the end I am not sure, Izzy, has told me that the end is what I make it. But what does she know, she isn't all there if you understand my meaning. Yet strangely enough she does have wisdom beyond her years."_

"Hey Noah whatcha doing?" Sighing he turns to her in annoyance.

Rolling, his dark fathomless eyes he sighs answering her question in his usual monotone voice. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm typing on my laptop."

A hand slams the laptop closed just as he is attacked by a wave of curly orange. "Well what'cha writing about is it about your kiss?"

With that Noah turned a bright red scarlet but hid it with a mask of indifference. "No It is not… It is a memoir I hope to publish about my annoyance with this whole show. As well describes how reality shows such as this have lead to the intellectual downfall of the world as a whole." Hoping that would show the over rambunctious girl that there was nothing more to the conversation that needed to be said.

"Oh… must be rough being kicked off third." Leaning back in the pool chair he sighed glaring as Izzy gazed at him with eyes of comprehension. Believing she would drop the subject, he brought out his laptop and continued to type about his experience. He and Izzy became closer once she arrived at the resort, before he thought she was just crazy, after speaking to her he realized something, she was the exact opposite. Though the pair was worlds apart they had something that no one else could understand. They were both geniuses in their own sense. While Noah's intelligence caused him to be cold to all those around him, Izzy's seemed to have driven her mad. Many would believe he was insane for saying something like that, but that's because it took a genius to see her's. Noah found it baffling how no one could see between the lines of her insanity, the moments where what she said made perfect sense. "Thanks for the complement… but why isn't Cody in it? You do miss him don't you?" Though he wished to deny it with every fiber of his being, this was one of those times.

"Do you mind?" Slamming his laptop down again he glared at her wild eyes. "Izzy why do you keep bringing Cody up, We barely interacted on the island and that kiss was a fluke." Shifting himself to the sitting position he glared directly into her green eyes, hoping to get the point across. Though it was a lie that they barely interacted, he did not wish he prying into his business any deeper. After all he didn't know if he liked Cody the way she often implied, but for some he did miss him a lot. He was one of the few people on the show he could hold a conversation with. With the constant discussions they had on video games, a topic they both held a passion for, how could one not wish to talk to him. And it didn't just end there his knowledge of current technology, the ability to comprehend his dry humor. And he even had some witty retorts of his own. Some one who could make him smile, a legitimate smile, not one of his usual smirks. Who would not miss a friend like that? But the feeling that lingered seemed a little too powerful to be just the missing of a friend. What there was left to admit to himself, he did not wish to travel down that path. Because though he knew for a long time he had no interest in the fairer sex, acting upon it by having a male crush was not well advised with his upbringing.

"O come on Noah… You know you can trust me…" Noah fell back as Izzy leaned in smiling menacingly down at him. "I won't tell."

Noah cleared his throat from the uncomfortable feeling of having Izzy so close to his face, it was strange he could predict everyone's reactions and movements, all but Izzy's. "Izzy there is _Nothing _to tell."

Izzy moved away looking down at him with disappointed eyes. "O pooh…" He picked himself back up and watched her as she began to walk away using it as the perfect opportunity to get back to his typing. "I was hoping we could get some guy on guy action going on." Rolling his eyes at her statement he continued to type ignoring her, after all answering only fueled her. "O speaking of which did you watch the show?"

"I don't watch that dribble…" Noah groaned wanting her to just leave him to his words.

"O really… to bad you didn't cause if you did you'd know…" Noah grunted uninterested in anything she had to say, continuing to type his memoir. "Cody got kicked off…" Noah's typing stopped abruptly, _he was coming here? Already! _He was hoping he could have some time to fully understand his feelings before confronting the adorable brown haired, glistening blue eyed…um… No he means the boy in which his most embarrassing moment happened. That alone was reason enough for him to not wish to see him. But adding on the conflicting feelings that lay with in his stomach at the sound of his name, was more than enough of a reason to avoid the boy all together. "I knew it…" Noah turned back his entire face burning. Giving her his coldest look of irritation, he watched her giggle and run off. "I'll tell him you're happy he's here…" With that single statement brought Noah to un-characteristically, leap out of his chair to grasp Izzy around her dainty little wrist. "Why Hello Noah." She giggled playfully.

Clenching his teeth he held back his embarrassment. "Izzy can you please stop tormenting me and implying that I have feelings for him? I have no feelings for him I just do not wish you opening up fresh wounds that Cody may have about what happened on the island." Smirking smugly to himself he knew he could talk his way out of this, this would get anyone to drop the subject for sure. He released her and looked her in the eyes preparing for her to agree to drop the subject.

"Is that why you got yourself voted off? Cause you were being extra obnoxious for no reason..." Noah's eyes widened in shock as he turned to Izzy, did she just imply that he purposefully forfeited? "It's ok the look on your face is enough." Noah blushed a bright scarlet and looked away from her in irritation.

"I didn't And I don't know what to say to convince your stubborn mind otherwise. So I suggest you leave me alone. And do not mention to me to Cody." He didn't get an answer from her, only a playful giggle as she ran away. Noah clenched his fists silently begging that Izzy would not tell Cody her_ theory_ about his feelings. Noah groaned and sat himself back into his chair sneering. Why must she insist on irritating him with nonsense? He would never give up, he wanted to prove that he could win the game using only his video game skills and he needed the money. After all being a surprise as well as the youngest of nine, didn't really leave enough money for his parents to save up a college fund. If he wanted to go to college he needed to save up the money himself.

"_But she like everyone else enjoyed participating in this show. And this show was just mindless dribble in which many watch for mind numbing entertainment. It required no intellectual skill to move through the challenges, all it required was mindless followers willing to do stupid stunts…"_

At least that is what he intended when he first joined the show. But now hearing it aloud made perfect sense. He subconsciously wanted to be voted off. Because after that utterly embarrassing moment with Cody, he couldn't see him, not because of the embarrassment, but that one moment brought up a feeling with in him he never felt before. A comfort and closeness he never felt in his life. And the boy's intelligent was not one to scoff. Though he seemed to be in his own world reading during the dodge ball game, the whole time he was watching Cody from the corner of his eyes as he played. And his ability to integrate strategy in sports was amazing. He used static electricity to turn the dodge ball into a homing ball, pure genius if he did say so himself. The boy wasn't only cute and huggable, he also had intelligence and Noah couldn't help but feel those metaphorical butterflies fluttering in his stomach as he thought about him. And all he wished was to learn more about him and be around him.

"_Yes I was voted off as the first in the "Screaming Gophers". But it was because I did not wish to participate in the mindless action of throwing balls at my fellow campers. What is there to learn from such an action?..."_

But, he had to be realistic; though he didn't admit it out loud his affections for Cody were best left a secret. A secret he would bury and hopefully with time diminish into nothing. He wasn't looking forward to going back home with what happened at the show, but at least he could cover it all up stating that he was imagining some made up crush, but to add real feelings to the mix would just be to difficult. And that was with out adding a simple and true fact… The boy of his affections was straight. There was no going around something of that magnitude. It is known that it is virtually impossible to change some one from something socially acceptable to something viewed as wrong. Or better yet it was impossible. Who would willingly choose to be tormented and ridiculed everyday when they could easily just fit the norm? He often wondered why he himself couldn't just change instantly he had the intelligence to. But with matters of the heart, shuddering slightly at the cliché ness of the statement, intelligence held no hold over it.

"_I feel unchanged by my experience on this show for what is there to learn from pointless acts of violence and 'stupid stunts'…"_

So instead he chose the next best thing; which was to willingly die alone. To show no need for affection, this was why he was always cold to everyone. Because with his cold nature it brought on no speculation of whom or what he was attracted to, people would just assume that he was a pompous self absorbed Jerk, who had no interest in dating what so ever. No one, including his parents, were any the wiser. But that day… he just couldn't get the feeling of how wonderful it felt to hold some one close in his arms, and to hold some one with intelligence, wit, and soft heart to boot, was more than his emotions could handle.

"_I will not miss my time in Total Drama Island for there frankly is nothing to miss. I would not advice watching this show for it provides no new out look at life and human interaction, as many claim it to…"_

Though he would never admit it, he did watch the show. Only to see how Cody was progressing and how Gwen so easily broke his heart, hurting him. He couldn't understand how someone as cold as her could win the affections of some one as kind and caring as Cody. He willingly helped the one he cared for hook up with another. Noah knew for a fact anyone else, including Trent, would never willingly give up so easily. And his reasoning behind it? He wanted Gwen to be happy. No underlying cruel intentions, just he wanted her to be happy. He was everything Noah himself wished he could be, because it took courage to feel for someone and there was no mathematical formula to figure out if they will return your feelings. It was all by chance, and Noah was never one for chance.

"_It instead only strengthens what we know about the selfish manipulation that goes on in our society. What is there to learn from watching something we can see by walking around?"_

He just wished he had watched the new show sooner via online. Then he would be more prepared. He would have prepared a dialog or reasoning to why the kiss happened, and he wasn't ready. If he had only known… "Hey whatcha doing eh?" Noah quickly slammed his laptop down as Ezekiel appeared from behind him in his usual socially un-acceptable fashion.

Groaning he spoke out loud his feelings on the situation. "Why can't I get a few moments to myself?"

Ezekiel held his grubby hands up in some form of surrender or back off, he wasn't sure. Ever since he was kicked off the island solely based on his social skills, or lack there of, he had been more careful about the things he said. "I just wanted to tell you Cody's pretty messed up eh."

Noah's eyes widened in shock_, ' please be ok' _was all he kept repeating over and over in his mind. But on the out side he simply shrugged uninterested. "What does this have to do with me?"

"He had some pretty bad luck eh…" The only sign of Noah's worry was his constant tapping on the case of his laptop. '_Hurry up… just tell me if he's ok already!' _ But to the untrained eye, with the look on his face and usual mannerisms, they would assume he was just wanted to get back to his typing. "…he was mauled by a bear…" Noah's tapping quickened as he held his breath. He was quickly loosing his patients, he needed to know what happened to Cody _**now**__,_ and he couldn't stand how long it was taking the slow spoken hic to finally spit it out. "Not every day you get mauled by a bear… pretty bad luck eh?" Noah couldn't take it any more it.

Snapping rudely, a slight anger filling his usually monotone voice, he interrupted the slow drawl. "For god's sake just tell me already!"

"OK OK… calm down. Izzy said that you were the only one smart enough to keep an eye on him medically…or something..." Noah groaned at both Izzy's name and the fact the Ezekiel miss understood what he wanted to hear. It was a false victory, because though no one saw through his mask of indifference, the only way he could see if Cody was alright would be to see him face to face. Not many people had lived through a bear attack, and most of those who did died a few days later from damage to major organs, or blood loss. And the uncertainty was killing him. What if the damage was irreversible? What if Cody was in a coma and would never wake up? What if he would never be able to see him again…

Noah internally shook his head. No he wasn't going to turn into some irrational child. They wouldn't move him if he was in a severe condition, and if they did it would be to a hospital not to a fancy Island get away. It was probably a few scraps and broken bones. But he still had to see him, just to be sure. Packing up his laptop he walked off not caring that Ezekiel was still talking to him. "Where are you going eh?"

R&R please :3


	2. First Encounter

_**A/N: **Dude I loved the new episode of TDW I mean did you see how Cody practically did the whole challenge by himself... man the girls should stop bitching and just make him the leader already... GOSH! (stole that from Harold lol XD.) Plus I really lol'd in the Monster commercial team Chris is Really Really Really Hot made when Izzy said the owen monster was really hot... Many that was hilarious... and the look on Noah's face was priceless. ANY WAY... This is the first encounter between Noah and Cody since he's been kicked off... lets see what happens... o.o_

**_Summary:_**_ Noah is having a hard time suppressing his feelings for cody… some one who he actually enjoys spending time with… but because no one truly knows he's gay at home he tries to hide it because his parents would disown him if they ever found out… dealing with Izzy's constant Nagging, Cody's adorable obsession with fixing the friendship and one other camper's advances he is thrown into the midst of confusion... a confusion that logic won't be able to help him with._

**_**Don't read if you don't like Boy love… seriously**_**

_(Do not own Any of the total drama Island/action/world tour characters.)_

_Rated T for teen_

**Chapter 2: First Encounter**

Noah found the information on the location of Cody's room from some one at the information desk, and as soon as he did he walked as fast as he could with out drawing attention to himself. He didn't want anyone seeing where he was heading. Noah stopped right in front of Cody's door. Reading the sign quietly, he held his breath. **"Do not disturb." **Luckily Izzy gave him the perfect excuse to enter. Ignoring the sign, he reached for the door, hoping that Cody was asleep on the other side. But when he opened it he was surprised to find Cody was covered head to toe in bandages and restricted to a wheel chair. And more surprised to find him awake. "Hey Noah… Hehe what's up?" Noah inhaled deeply at the sound of his name.

Cody would never understand what simply stating his name did to him. His heart sang, the sound of his name intensified in its beauty for the sole reason it was spoken by those soft lips. Shaking his head internally Noah placed on his most uninterested expression. "Heard about your bad luck… Came to see if it was as bad as Ezekiel made it out to be…" And it was, no in his eyes it was worst. He wanted desperately to find any way to relieve his pain.

"Hehe… I know I've been having bad luck lately…" Even with everything that had happened on the show he was still smiling. How could he still be smiling? "So is anyone else coming to see me?"

Noah looked up at him in confusion. "If you want to see people why do you have a "do not disturb" sign hanging on your door Knob? Usually when you put that up people don't come to say hi."

"Well you came in didn't you?"

Noah glared quickly at his statement. "I wanted to asses the damage call it morbid curiosity." '_Thank you Ezekiel for a reason.'_

Noah watched in awed silence as he caught a small hint of sadness with in Cody's usual cheerful eyes. "O…" But as quickly as it came it was gone. "It's cool I'm glad you're here. So far you're the only one who came to see me… o other than Izzy." _'Izzy!' _Noah's eyes widened in realization, this was all part of her plan. She chose Ezekiel to tell him, because she knew Noah would grow tired of listening to his long drawn out explanation. She put the do not disturb sign so no one would interrupt their conversation. She even gave Noah a good enough reasoning to see him while ignoring the sign. "Don't get me wrong I love talking to Izzy but sometimes she says the weirdest things. Hehe."

Noah's caught the last part of his sentence and all the potential Izzisms came flooding to his mind. "Like what?" Gripping his hands be hind his back he desperately prayed that Izzy didn't mention the kiss.

"Yeah she asked me how the kiss between us felt? Heh." Noah fisted his hands beside him. Izzy was going to pay. But his anger diminished as Cody continued. "I said it was really no big deal… I mean it's kinda like waking up to your dog kissing you." He couldn't believe it, not only did he think nothing of it he compared it to being kissed by your _DOG_! Even though everything in his mind told him it was better this way, his heart wouldn't stop aching. But what did he expect, Cody confessing an undying love for him. To hear a long drawn out speech of unspoken affection, like in those cheesy movies? He should be happy that Cody just brushed it off, instead of avoiding him like a plague.

Sighing Noah shook his head answering as monotone as he could, hiding his insulted pride. "Well it's not like I enjoyed it either…" Noah groaned internally at his blatant lie. Sighing in his usual theatrical tone, he continued. "But for some reason Izzy has it in her mind that there was more to it…" His dark emotionless eyes rolled to view the door. "You know Izzy…"

"Yeah she's weird…" He smiled softly at the sound of Cody's laughter. It was nice to hear his true laughter, and not the uncomfortable, or forced laugh he had with the other campers. Yes, Noah noticed his different laughs. Some would say that that was a sign of love, he just thought it was because of his ability to notice even the smallest details. But what happened next caused his smile to vanish. "Why would she think that you and I…" Noah's heart broke as Cody's laughter heightened. "I mean we're both guys and neither of us is gay." How could some one be so unintentionally cruel? "I mean you're cool and all, but come on. Hehe." His heart just wanted to run out and cry in his blankets, because he was right. But his mind told him, what was there to be upset about , he knew from the beginning that it was a ridiculous idea. Them being together. But even with his rationalizing his heart still felt like it was trapped in a vice. "Don't you agree? Noah?"

"Yeah… hilarious…" Noah said unable to hold back his sarcasm. He didn't expect so much to drip from his voice. So quickly changing it's direction, from revealing to cloaking, Noah added to his statement. "I mean it's not like after the show we're going to be known as the two guys that kissed." Sarcasm continued flowing, fueled only by his broken heart. "Personally, I just want to forget the whole thing… And I never wish to speak about this again." He noticed Cody reach out in apology, but he didn't want to hear it. He had nothing to apologize for. Noah was mad at him for being straight. And what kind of person would even expect an apology for that. Instead the best thing was to avoid Cody, and the pain it brought. So sneering he stepped out of the room, hearing his name called out. But he didn't care.

The minute the door clicked shut Noah held his face softly, trying to push back the pain. But it was still there lingering. Making his way to his room, he opened the door locking it behind him; he flopped down on to his bed face first, cursing his fate. "What is wrong with me…?"

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_**A/N:** two things one... Sorry it's so short... and two Cody may have come out looking like a jerk... but he didn't mean it... you know he seems like the kind of person that handles all bad situations with humor... Anyways... Please R&R and thanks to you guys who have 3... Lots of love X3... again lol *hugs everyone*_


	3. Denial

_**A/N: **Lol Noah went to hug Bridget and she was like "I have a boyfriend"... I would have so had him say "Don't flatter yourself honey I'm gay." lol. But any way...lo__ts of love to you guys who commented. X3. They were all so positive and awesomely nice XD. And __Auroral Sea Thanks for the cookie X3 It tasted awesome lol._

**_Summary:_**_ Noah is having a hard time suppressing his feelings for cody… some one who he actually enjoys spending time with… but because no one truly knows he's gay at home he tries to hide it because his parents would disown him if they ever found out… dealing with Izzy's constant Nagging, Cody's adorable obsession with fixing the friendship and one other camper's advances he is thrown into the midst of confusion... a confusion that logic won't be able to help him with._

**_**Don't read if you don't like Boy love… seriously**_**

_(Do not own Any of the total drama Island/action/world tour characters.)_

_Rated T for teen_

**Chapter 3: Denial**

Noah groaned in irritation as he heard a pounding resonate from behind the door. He buried his face deeper into the pillow hoping to drown out the sound. "NOAH WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU IT'S THREE THIRTY!" Groaning he knew who was on the other side of the door. It was Eva. Every day at three they would have their venting sessions. But today he wasn't up for it. After his encounter with Cody all he wanted to do was sleep. "COME ON! OPEN UP!"

Replying in his usual monotone voice he answered back calmly. "Eva I'm not feeling well today… I believe I'm having an allergic reaction to something I ate this morning. Can we please reschedule…"

But to his obvious irritation she just continued to pound on the door. "EVERY DAY AT THREE! DOESN'T THAT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU? A DEAL IS A DEAL SHRIMP!" She either didn't hear him or didn't care. He was about to retaliate, but the yelling abruptly stopped and all he could hear from behind the door were muffled whispers. Hopefully one of the campers had come by to silence her. Eva had the kind of voice that could resonate through the entire hotel. Loud and powerful, and she was never afraid to use it.

The whispers stopped and were replaced by a steady clicking. Groaning he pulled the cover over his head. No doubt Izzy was lock picking her way into his room again. "Hey Noah! How'd it go?" He was right. Two pairs of footsteps made their way into his room. Groaning he refused to look their way.

"Please leave me alone… I feel ill and would like to rest…" He really didn't want to deal with this today.

Eva in all her 'wisdom' spoke firmly. "Izzy maybe he is just sick… I mean your story about Cody sounds crazy." Noah's eyes widened in shock, he couldn't believe she had told Eva. Yes they were all friends but it still wasn't right. Especially since it was nothing but a theory.

But to his dismay he felt the bed lower beside him. Two soft arms hugged him tightly. Making it difficult for him to catch his breathe. "It's ok Noah… he probably hasn't come to terms with his feelings yet…"

Noah couldn't take anymore growling out in irritation he shoved Izzy off of him. Glaring straight into her glowing green eyes, he spoke firmly showing a little more anger than he would have liked. "Stop it Izzy just stop it."

To his surprise Izzy just glared at him, her green eyes trying to pierce his soul. "Noah…I understand…" Noah glared back refusing to allow her any access. He could tell Eva was uncomfortable, more likely because of the tense air around them. She stood there, in the corner of his eye, looking from him to Izzy in confusion. He could tell this was the last place she wanted to be right now because she quickly muttered needing to go work out. And with that Noah heard her walk out and slam the door behind her, leaving them alone. And Izzy's glare slowly turned in to a smile. Making him more nervous, there was no reason for her to smile. Though on the outside his stone face remained solid, on the inside he was wondering if he should have run out too.

Noah cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Are you just going to sit there and smile at me all day…"

"Yes!" Noah waited a few more minutes for her to say something else but nothing came. She just sat there smiling. She just watched him with her eyes, almost like she was trying to uncover an unspoken secret. He shifted uncomfortable under her gaze. But she just kept smiling and staring. No explanation, just sat there smiling and staring.

Noah spoke hiding how obviously uncomfortable he felt. "Are you going to say something? Or are you just going to sit their smiling at me like some…" Before he could complete his sentence she just firmly shushed him and smiled. Noah groaned and lifted himself off of the bed. Heading to the bathroom to wash his face he heard her giggle softly, causing him to turn back around. "What?"

"Noah you're always so miserable." Noah glared at her. Where the hell was she going with this? He didn't say a word. He motioned her to explain herself. "Your so silly you know that…"

Noah couldn't take it anymore Izzy was driving him nuts. "That doesn't even make sense!" It wasn't until he looked at the shocked face of Izzy did he realize he had yelled it out. Noah unfeeling, uncaring, sarcastic jerk had just yelled. Clearing his throat he shifted slightly away from her. "Look just leave me alone… This whole theory you have about me and Cody is nothing but garbage." He hoped that would make his point.

But as a rush of orange hair attacked him, knocking him to the ground, he knew she didn't get his point. She was so stubborn. Groaning he tried to hold his head from the pain the impact had caused. But he couldn't move his arms. Izzy Straddled him holding him to the ground, both her hands firmly griping his arms. "Don't even try to break out of this hold." Smirking she leaned into him causing him to look away. "I can see that in your eyes you are struggling to be normal… But you're just like me you can't be normal. We're different you should be proud of it." Noah struggled trying to break free.

"Yeah right Izzy I'm suppose to believe that you can see into my soul?" Noah replied monotone. Smirking he spoke sarcastically. "I know you're not normal…"

But she simply laughed interrupting him. "I won't let you go until you admit how you feel. We both know you aren't as much of a heartless unfeeling robot as you pretend to be… You should embrace you're love for Cody… It's special and beautiful…"

"Let go Izzy!" Noah struggled with in her hold, his emotions running wild. Why couldn't she just leave it alone? It was bad enough he had to suffer through his unrequited feelings. Feelings of which, if his family found out he would be disowned. But to have her bring it up every time she saw him was like rubbing salt into the wound. Why couldn't she just let it go? Was the idea of two guys being together that appealing to her? Didn't she care what she was doing to him? "Seriously Izzy let me go!" His voice showing his anger and hurt.

"What happened between you two… You look like you're about to cry…"

He shook his head he was reaching his limit. Giving her a look that could turn even the most passionate fire to ice he spoke monotone. "Izzy Stop." And Izzy froze her usual smile gone as she looked down at him in shock. She had pressed a button, causing his usual calm demeanor to break.

And she knew it because she gently got off of him and reached her hand to him. He couldn't take it anymore. "Noah… I'm just trying to help…" Gripping her hand he accepted her help. She pulled him up quickly. Noah shifted himself whipping the dirt off of his clothes.

Groaning he sat himself back down on his bed. "If you really want to help Izzy leave me alone…" He really didn't want to hear what she had to say. Not now… his heart ached too much. All he wanted was to be alone. Picking up his book that he had left on the night stand last night, he leaned himself back onto his pillows.

"Noah… It's not healthy for you to live in so much denial…" Noah grunted uninterested, hoping she would get the message and leave him alone. But as usual she didn't listen, but instead leaped over him and sat on the other side of him. Her back against the headboard as she crossed her legs in front of her. "You know you don't have to admit it to me…" Noah could tell from the corner of his eye she was smiling her usual menacing smile. "But at least you could admit it to yourself." Laughing she leaped off of his bed. "Well off to do some harpooning… See you later Noah!" With that she just left locking the door behind her.

Noah groaned he placed his book back on to the night stand. He couldn't read, his mind was swarming too much to concentrate. He knew she was right. They both knew. But he couldn't admit it to anyone least of all himself. If he did that was just heartache and rejection waiting to happen. Gripping his chest he groaned. "Life hates me…"

Couple of days later:

Noah sighed gazing out into the darkness of the ocean as his emotions seemed to convey the atmosphere. Dread was filling his entire being only to be contrasted with the glow of the moon. The small glimmer of longing that seemed to shimmer across the waters below, spreading like a disease. Pulling his knees close to his chest he leaned his chin against his forearms sighing he allowed his sadness to consume him. It has been a few days since he had seen Cody last. And like the pull and push of the tide his desire to see him swayed. He had a decision to make and he knew it. Would he pretend his feelings for him didn't exist and speak to him? Or would he ignore the boy of his affections until it faded into the ocean like a lone piece of seaweed? Either way he had decided it was best to remain in his denial. He needed to decide what it was he was going to do before tomorrow.

Though he would rather prolong it, rumor said that Cody would be out of his casts, and free to roam the hotel as he pleased. No longer was he confined to his room. Noah couldn't remain a ghost forever coming only in the darkness to be alone. Some one will pick up that something was wrong. And No matter what happened no one would ever be allowed to have that knowledge. But the secret was becoming like a block in his mind, no longer was he able to think to his fullest. Izzy was right, he needed to admit his feelings to himself. His denial was making it extremely difficult to concentrate on his writing. Maybe if he confessed it to the sea it would carry it away as drift wood past the judging eyes of the dock. Sighing he stood himself firmly, grasping the sand beneath him with his toes. He bellowed into the ocean, far from the campers around him. "I have a crush on Cody!" He listen to the silence around him, feeling relieved.

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_**A/N:** R&R And Honestly I love you guys! The comments you gave me the inspiration to keep writing. You guys ROCK!_


	4. Hey Sexy

_**A/N: **Dude you guys will never guess what happened lol. I had chapters 4-6 complete and when I went to go get them... The file was corrupted and un-readable DX. So I had to rewrite chapter 4 again DX... o well... I think this versions better anyway lol. O and for all you guys wanting to know who '__advances' on him you find out now YAY! *Party* Thanks for all the reviews they actual help alot when I have writers block. I read them and go YAY people like my story XD. 3 _

**_Summary:_**_ Noah is having a hard time suppressing his feelings for cody… some one who he actually enjoys spending time with… but because no one truly knows he's gay at home he tries to hide it because his parents would disown him if they ever found out… dealing with Izzy's constant Nagging, Cody's adorable obsession with fixing the friendship and one other camper's advances he is thrown into the midst of confusion... a confusion that logic won't be able to help him with._

**_**Don't read if you don't like Boy love… seriously**_**

_(Do not own Any of the total drama Island/action/world tour characters.)_

_Rated T for teen_

**Chapter 4: Hey Sexy**

Noah sighed as he leaned back in his beach chair laptop carefully perched on his lap. This was his favorite time of day, early morning. The glow of orange in the sky as the sun began to peek through, making the ocean shine. It was as though the atmosphere itself was mirroring his new found good mood. He loved getting up before the sun. And though he didn't get much sleep the night before, getting up before everyone else was worth a day of lacking sleep. He could always just lie around, and no one would be the wiser because of his lazy nature. Back at home this was the only way he could ever really get some time alone. But he didn't mind getting up, listening to the silence as the only sound that could be heard was the distant song birds, he knew it was worth it.

"_Just as we see in our current society, one person (usually female) transforms herself in to the "queen bee" using the others around her as pawns. And it is strange how most people despise said queen bee, and yet they all long for her approval and praise. Allowing themselves to be used as pawns…"_

Noah smiled softly to himself, finally he could get back to his writing. Izzy was right, though he would never admit it to her, he did need to admit it to himself. His affection for Cody though, condemnable by most standards, was part of him. And it was a waste of energy trying to suppress it the way he was. Though he was not ready to admit it aloud, nor would he ever act upon it, this was one step closer to accepting who he was. He lifted his fingers off of his laptop and gazed up at the sky sighing. Even with his good mood, one thought still plagued his mind… What was he going to do when he saw Cody?

This one situation was more drama than he's had in his entire life. He always avoided drama of his own. Though he did enjoy watching other people's drama play itself out, usually exploding in their faces. And when it did he always had a front row seat to the action. But this was different, it wasn't like when his older twin sisters found out that they were dating the same guy, or when his second oldest brother wreaked his dad's car. No this was different, those things were fights waiting to happen, this on the other hand was nothing but silent pain that lead to disappointment. Laughing dryly to himself he thought, _figures a show called total drama would add drama to even my life._

"What are you laughing about?" Noah jumped turning to find Justin standing there in all his glory. His body _Silhouette_d perfectly by the sun behind him, his broad shoulders smoothly leading into his narrow hips. His glowing blue eyes a perfect contrast to his dark skin. Physically Justin was perfect.

But even so Noah was not going to turn himself into a screaming fan girl like Katie and Sadie. And that was with out noting the fact that Justin's pretty boy lack of intelligence was a major turn off. Groaning he gazed back to his laptop. "Figures, when I finally have some time to myself some one has to come by and ruin it…"

But to his dismay Justin didn't get the hint, but instead placed himself down in the beach chair directly beside his. "I know what you mean… I never get anytime to myself…"

Noah spoke sarcastically showing every ounce of disdain for his current situation. "I figured you loved the attention. After all you rip off your shirt at a moment's notice to show off your rock hard abs, your over all 'sexy' body." He didn't have time for this, Cody would wake up in the next couple of hours, and he still hasn't decided what he was going to do when he saw him. "And with your shirt on you are willing to flash your 'Dazzling' smile at any girl willing to look at you…"

"You really think I'm sexy." Noah turned back in shock to find Justin smiling at him. Obviously his sarcasm was lost on him. Groaning Noah turned back to his laptop. Why couldn't people just leave him alone? Was that so much to ask? But to his dismay Justin just moved in closer smiling at him. "You know I think you're sexy too." Noah jerked back nearly falling over. Did he really hear that right? Justin the male god, just called him sexy. It had to be a joke.

He would have to be blunt. Inhaling deeply he spoke in his usual monotone fashion as he gathered his things. "Obviously my sarcasm was lost on you. So I will have to be blunt. I do not find you attractive, mostly because I'm not gay…" He stood up and began to walk away as he spoke.

Before he could finish his sentence Justin let out a laugh of his own. "Not gay… are you sure about that…" This caused him to stop. What was everyone's obsession with his sexuality?

Noah glared at him, insulted hand on his extended hip. "What makes you so sure I am gay?"

To his dismay Justin walked over to him and ripped off his shirt. With a quick flip of his smooth dark hair, Noah was soon reminded of why everyone fawned over him. His body was perfect as his tan skin glistened in the sunlight. Every muscle of his body accented by the shadow and light of the sun rise, his face's perfect bone structure, his strong arms, his well molded pecks, his perfectly defined abs, Noah felt his face grow warm as he took it all in. "Not gay huh?"

Blushing he shook his homoerotic thoughts away and glared directly at Justin, his face solid. Speaking with his usual sarcastic tone he answered him back. "It's like a train wreak… no one can look away."

But instead of taking the bait, Justin just walked closer to him. "Why do you feel the need to lie to me…" Noah's body tingled as Justin's blue eyes were gazing into his. Justin was so close he could feel his breath on his face.

"W-what are you doing?" And just like everything else, it smelled like mint, perfect. Noah stood speechless unsure what to do, no one has ever come on to him before. All he could do was blush as Justin gently held his face one hand moving to play with his hair. And slowly Justin's face began to inch slowly closer to his. Noah falling under his spell closed his eyes slowly. There was something about those eyes blue and beautiful… just like Cody's.

Noah snapped back into reality quickly pushing Justin away. What was he doing? This was the very thing he was trying to prevent. Noah spoke monotone glaring up at Justin. "What the hell is wrong with you? I'm a guy."

But to his surprise Justin just smiled down towards him. "You didn't seem to have a problem with that a few minutes ago."

Noah glared showing all his irritation. "I'm not gay." The last person he wanted to know about his 'problem' was Justin. Least of all on a reality show… Why did they all pressure him to come out? He wasn't ready. At least Izzy just wanted him to admit it to himself. But why was Justin so interested now? He had to get him away, out smart him. And with that simple thought he remembered the one thing Justin held over all else. His good looks. "And if I was… I don't think I'd find you attractive. I wouldn't be into pretty boy morons like you."

"You don' t find me attractive?" To this Justin glared falling right into Noah's trap. Justin would get the idea he wasn't interested and move on. And if it is a game like Noah knew it was he would give up knowing Noah won't fall for it. Justin seemed like the kind of guy who always got what he wanted, but never had to work for it. Plus with his observations from the show he also noticed that because of how easily everything came to him, he would give up if things required effort. So with all he knew, now was the time for him to leave and never look back. But to his surprise Justin just smirked. "Leme guess you are only into geeks like Cody." Noah was taken back by his statement but held his face firm.

Justin had no proof and though Izzy had told Eva, she hadn't told anyone else. For now it was just between the three of them. "I don't know what you're talking about…" He was obviously playing off the incident on the show. "Look the incident on the show meant nothing… and if you are playing off of that than you are dumber than you look…" Noah smirked sarcastically when his statement was complete.

But to his surprise Justin just smiled. "I'm not as dumb as you think I am Noah…" Noah's body froze in shock as Justin reached out for his hand. "I saw you last night… Crying out to the sea, in a desperate attempt to get over Cody…" Noah tried to pull his hand out of Justin's grasp but couldn't. Justin just brought his trapped hand it to his lips. Smiling against them he spoke softly. "You just looked so lonely and sad… so beautiful." Noah's eyes widened in shock, did he really hear that right? "Noah, I thought you were just a sarcastic jerk. But when I saw you, the moon glowing off of you the way it did. I just knew I had to have you…" Noah blushed as his hand tingled from the kiss, he had never heard anything so sweet in his life. And the glow in Justin's eyes caused his body to melt. But no he couldn't have this.

This was a game it had to be, he didn't know much about Justin's personality other than his observations. After all the boy barely spoke. But it all seemed too perfect. And that was out adding the fact, he couldn't reveal his orientation to anyone…. Least of all on a TV show. Yes they were out of the competition but there could still be cameras lurking around. Noah pulled at his hand finally freeing it. Keeping his face solid he spoke firmly. "I don't know what you are talking about… Leave me alone… I'm not gay nor do I find you attractive." Smirking Noah waved Justin off walking away from him. "After all the only reason you want me is because you can't have me…"

He made his way into the hotel holding himself firm as he stepped in to the elevator. It wasn't until the doors closed that Noah finally lost his composure. Realizing how close he came to revealing his secret. Exhaling he leaned back onto the elevator wall gripping his chest. Whispering softly as he released his breathe. "That was too close."

* * *

_A/N: Noah admits it to himself... but not ready to admit it to others yet... poor Noah :(... any ways R&R and Interweb cookies and love 3 to all you guys who did X3 (:::)-Ritz XD_


	5. Reminiscing

_**A/N: **"HAHA Cody has a small Sausage!" XD... lol ANYWAYS! K I'm not going to lie this chap is a little slow, but it's important... It's kinda my reasoning to why Noah is trying so hard to hide the fact he's gay as well as why he's so cold and sadistic... but willing to form strong loyal friendships with people... O and I personally believe Noah's middle eastern (Specifically Egyptian)... I mean did you see how perfectly his profile fit in to the Egyptian pyramids in the "Lovin' time Song". But it just might be me xD. But I left it open ended in that sense, I'm not going to push everyone to think the way I think because that's not cool Lol. ANYWAYS I bring it up because unlike most stories that make their homophobia derive from religious reasons, in my story it's a cultural thing. Like they think it's wrong because that's the society they were raised in..._

_Now for random shout outs:_

_ suicuntetobigaara: Dude honestly I knew from TDI he was evil... I mean NO ONE is that perfect lol... And when I told my friends they were all like no he's not... And I was like he's either really evil or a very boring 1D character. lol. _

_ WordWarrior192: Thanks for you're awesome loyalty to my story... You rock X3._

_Grey Amethyst: YAY FREE BABY! I'm going to check my mail everyday now for my baby lol... Make sure you put rush stamps on it lol XD._

_ EVERYONE X3: I LOVE YOU All X3... Thanks for the loyalty and support. You guys are amazing X3._

**_Summary:_**_ Noah is having a hard time suppressing his feelings for cody… some one who he actually enjoys spending time with… but because no one truly knows he's gay at home he tries to hide it because his parents would disown him if they ever found out… dealing with Izzy's constant Nagging, Cody's adorable obsession with fixing the friendship and one other camper's advances he is thrown into the midst of confusion... a confusion that logic won't be able to help him with._

**_**Don't read if you don't like Boy love… seriously**_**

_(Do not own Any of the total drama Island/action/world tour characters.)_

_Rated T for teen_

**Chapter 5: ****Reminiscing**

_Noah smiled softly at the beautiful hue of the night sky. It glowed a faint purple as the last of the sun's light faded into the distance. The beach glistened like the stars above from the glow of the moon light. Smiling softly to himself he fell back into the soft sand. He was all alone on the beach, just the way he liked it._

_His peace was interrupted as he heard soft footsteps in the sand. Turning to the sound he gaped in awe. There under the sparkling moon light stood Cody. His soft brown hair reflecting the moonlight, it looked like the halo of an angel. With one swift motion Cody sat beside him his soft blue eyes shining like diamonds as he smiled down at Noah._

_Noah smiled back speechless as Cody lay beside him, smiling up at the stars with his usual childlike wonder. "The stars are beautiful tonight…"Noah turned away blushing as he gazed back up at the stars, one arm behind his head as the other lay lazily by his side. Nodding softly he relaxed himself. But he felt himself stiffen as a soft hand placed it's self upon his, his hand tingling at the contact. He turned swiftly in surprise to find Cody smiling at him, his eyes sparkling. "I missed you Noah…" _

_With that Noah blushed turning on his side to face Cody. A smile creeping on his face as he spoke softly, "I missed you too Cody… More than you'll ever know…" Noah began to lean in slowly closing the gap between their lips…_

Noah groaned in frustration as his alarm rang. Figures the alarm would ring just right at the climax of his dream. Lazily, his eyes rolled to view the clock upon his desk as it flashed a resounding 11:30 am. He'd have to meet up with Eva in a couple of hours. And though he wanted to nap some more, maybe even finish that beautiful dream, he knew he had to get up. There was no need to attract attention to himself again, and if he didn't meet up with Eva at three she would defiantly come charging down the hall again. Banging his door and calling all the attention to her, and him. And with his current predicament that was the last thing he needed. Slamming down on the alarm clock, he sat himself up rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Today was going to be a long day. Best he get up and confront it, even though he would rather just stay in bed. Stretching his aching muscles he made his way to the bathroom.

Turning the faucet on he threw in bubble beads the hotel provided. A nice hot bath was the very thing he needed to get his mind off of his confusing love triangle. This was one of those problems logic could not help. There is no Logic for the heart. Noah groaned at the cliché nature of his thought. He wished he could just forget it and ignore it all together, after all the nature of his affection would bring him nothing but trouble. Shaking his head, he tried to shake the thought out of his mind. He needed to relax; he should just enjoy the moment and worry about his problems later. After all the best way to find a solution to any problem, was to look at it with fresh eyes. Right now he should just relax.

Taking off his clothes he stepped into the bath he had prepared. Sighing softly he leaned himself down into the warm water. This was exactly what he needed some peace and quiet, no outside noise, no nagging, and no screaming, just sweet beautiful peace.

Leaning back further into the tub he let out a sigh of relief. If only he could do this everyday. Back at home he never had the ability to have the bathroom to himself for too long. Not when he lived with eleven other people, with two bathrooms. One of which was designated parents only. Thinking back at it, he smirked, he had no idea how they could organize time for nine people to use one bathroom. Luckily in the past few years it had dwindled to only six people. Which is still a lot but it was a lot better than before. Thank goodness his eldest sister, Sarah (twenty-eight), eldest brother, Richard (thirty), and third eldest, Marcus (twenty-six) had moved out.

Now if only stupid Gorge could move out. Gorge though the second eldest (the same idiot that crashed his dad's car) still lived at home. Noah groaned with slight resentment, he was already twenty-nine years old. He should have moved out years ago. But no the idiot still lived at home. But what did he expect. Gorge was a college drop out, who was too lazy to get off his butt and get a real job. Instead he worked at dead end job after dead end job. But that wasn't why he resented him so much. There were many reasons one of which is the fact he had wasted his parent's money.

If he hadn't wasted their money, maybe they could have used that money to pay for his college. And he wouldn't have to be on this stupid reality show. Gorge was a lazy slob, who spent his college years partying and never showing up to his classes. He spent five years in college only to end up not even completing the first two years.

Noah clenched his teeth in frustration as he remembered his child hood with Gorge's constant torture. Because of the fact he was the black sheep of the family, and since he was such a failure in his parent's eyes, he used to take it out on him. Noah was the pride and joy of his family. Even though he was an unexpected surprise, six years younger than twins Annabelle and Selena who were both twenty-two. When they found out he was a genius they did nothing but brag about their little boy. Especially since that little boy had skipped preschool and went straight into first grade, and after that being placed in all advanced classes and had been reading since he was in diapers. Obviously hatred would arise from the least liked.

His parents, also, were the type that would compare the failures of one to the accomplishments of another. "Noah skipped two grades and is getting all A's, while you Gorge are getting a C in English." He would have sympathized with Gorge if he had been kinder to him, but under the circumstances he thought it was just punishment. Plus it wasn't like it was easy for him to be constantly forced into being perfect.

Growing up wasn't easy. As a child he did nothing but look up to his big brother. Gorge was a free spirit, who never cared about what others said. And Noah wanted to be just like him, strong willed and confident. And among his siblings, everyone always saw him as the cool one. The one all his siblings wanted to be like. But no matter how hard Noah tried to please him, Gorge would always shoot him down and beat him up. Calling him their parent's pet, saying he was nothing but a mindless suck up. He often made fun of him on a daily basis for his love of reading. It got so bad that Gorge would come into his room with his siblings and trash his room for no reason. They never wanted to let him join their tight knit group... he was alway left on the outside as the out cast...

Noah laughed as he thought back, how sad did some one have to be to terrorize a child who was thirteen years younger than him? Luckily because of his intelligence, the torture did not last long.

At a young age Noah gained the ability gather evidence, make conclusions, and develop a strategy to get what he wanted. His love of videogames helped him with that too. Especially since he's been playing computer games since he was old enough to hold a mouse or controller. But that was neither here nor there. Using his knowledge of his brother he realized that the only reason Gorge picked on him, was because he hated himself. So in turn every-time Gorge would attempt to torture him, he would say something to deter his wrath. Or if worst came to worst he would threaten him, stating that if he didn't leave him alone his parents would find out about the long list of misdemeanors that would have him grounded for life. And sometimes for fun he would turn the group against each other. His siblings were the reason he never trusted anyone to get to close. The only thing Noah was thankful for was, with out realizing it, Gorge helped him develop his ability to defend himself against bullies. All he did was find the one thing they felt horrible about, throw it in their face, and threaten to tell the whole world about said weakness. It worked every-time.

There was no way Gorge could ever win against him again. Because nothing Noah ever did would ever be as bad as half the things Gorge had done in his past. Dropped out of college, slept with his boss's daughter, crashed his dad's car, was caught doing drugs at school, went to jail for shoplifting… and the list goes on.

Nothing Noah could do would ever top Gorge… that is except the one thing Noah was. Groaning he slammed his palm to his head, why did he have to ruin such a nice moment with that thought? He was enjoying reminiscing about his victory over Gorge, and he had to remember that gripping detail... The only thing that could destroy his relationship with his parents, and raise Gorge up from being the most hated, was if they ever found out he was gay.

His parents were extremely homo-phobic, to the point that if you even mentioned the word gay you'd be smacked. In his family's native land one could go to jail for being gay. So obviously his immigrant parents would not take too kindly to the news. He highly doubted they could send him to jail for it, but being disowned was a definite.

Noah sighed stepping out of the bath tub, wrapping a towel around his thin hips. The moment was ruined. The quiet forced his mind to wander to unpleasant thoughts. Why did he always have to over think things?

He moved to the bathroom mirror pulling out his tooth brush he thought solemnly as he gazed at his own reflection. Gorge would love to find out that their parent's pet was gay. That smug asshole would gloat like crazy and not only that the torture would surely intensify. Why did he have to be gay? Why couldn't he just be straight like the rest of his family? Richard and Sarah happily married with kids, Marcus engaged. Why couldn't he just be like them? They seemed happy.

Spitting out the toothpaste he sighed to himself in intense irritation. But no he knew he wouldn't be happy in that life. He just had no attraction to the opposite sex at all. Internally he tried forcing himself to like girls. But in the end his mind would always wander to the attractive guys in his gym class. Thank god for his ability to talk his way out of gym. It would have been too much temptation if he was forced to change in the boy's locker room. A bad situation waiting to happen. A situation that held a pretty clear mirror to the interaction he had with Justin earlier today.

Glaring steadily at his own reflection he peered into it's eyes as if it held the answer he seeked. "What's Justin's game?" Looking over his features, he let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. Justin was physically perfect. While he was average looking, his sharp nose, dark eyes, tan skin, and square face, didn't hold a candle to Justin's physical perfection. Why would some one so perfect even dream of being with him, let alone act upon it. None of it made any sense. If only his mind was clear, curse Cody for clouding his mind with this un-needed crush.

Growling to himself he quickly got dressed and slammed the bathroom door. He couldn't think about this anymore. Curse his need to over analyze simple interactions. Who cared if the boy felt warm in his arms? Cody thought nothing of it why should he. Noah made his way to the window of his hotel room, to spot Cody lounging by the pool. Clenching his teeth he cursed himself for being such a fool. Cody felt nothing, he looked like the personification of relaxation. Not a care in the world as he lay there his soft skin exposed, as he held a sweet content smile.

Gripping his hair he turned away from the window. No what was he doing, he shouldn't be admiring him. Groaning he flopped down onto his bed. What was he going to do? He had to get his mind off of all this.

Sitting up quickly he glared back at the window. No he wasn't going to run from this. He wasn't going to allow it to consume his life when Cody felt nothing. He had to learn from his experiences with his family and realize the less he cared the more power he held over the situation.

If Cody didn't care, he would at least act like he didn't care. Cody didn't need to know, and avoiding him might tip him off to his affection, as well as tip off the more perceptive campers. And that was the last thing he needed. Izzy and Justin were enough he didn't need everyone to know.

Standing up firmly with his back straight he made his way to the door. What better time to go than right now. He was thirsty. Plus now would be the best time to surround himself with the less intelligent players on playa' de loser, after all what better way is there to get your mind off of something than watching less intelligent people make fools of themselves. Smirking he made his way to the door. If he did see Cody, he would speak to him as if nothing happened.

* * *

**A/N:** _two things lol 1.) An interweb bag of Candy to anyone who spots where I put the title in the story... Hehe the Title is verbatim in the story XD... and 2.) Again I show my love to all who R&R... LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU ALL!_


	6. Slip ups

_**A/N: **Just when I thought Alejandro couldn't be more of a jerk he screwed over Owen... That jerk... ANY WAYS lol... More Justin manipulating goodness in this chap lol... O and the Candy goes to... Shego1142, Wordwarrior192, And Auroral Sea! Yay for you guys come claim you're candy lol XD. You're all moving on to next week XD._

_Lunar Hale: Thanks for the comment over haul X3. It made me happy XD_

_no one important: You're enthusiasm for my story makes me feel all happy and butterfly-ie XD._

_ Everybody X3. Lots of love X3._

**_Summary:_**_ Noah is having a hard time suppressing his feelings for cody… some one who he actually enjoys spending time with… but because no one truly knows he's gay at home he tries to hide it because his parents would disown him if they ever found out… dealing with Izzy's constant Nagging, Cody's adorable obsession with fixing the friendship and one other camper's advances he is thrown into the midst of confusion... a confusion that logic won't be able to help him with._

**_**Don't read if you don't like Boy love… seriously**_**

_(Do not own Any of the total drama Island/action/world tour characters.)_

_Rated T for teen_

**Chapter 6: Slip ups**

Noah made his way quickly out of the Hotel, stopping only as he spotted Cody heading his way. It was now or never… He had to act like nothing was wrong. Like nothing had changed in their relationship. He was going to be strong.

His resolve slowly faded as he watched Cody's slim frame move smoothly from afar. His soft hair swaying with his movements, his dark sunglasses perched on his adorable button nose, a soft smile of contentment plastered on his soft supple lips, Cody was beautiful. And with that thought he realized he wasn't ready for this now. It was way too early for him to have a decent interaction with the object of his forbidden desires. He had to make a break for it, hide, do something to avoid the awkward interaction that would soon follow.

Panicking he leaped quickly behind the nearest bush before the handsome geek could spot him. Holding his breath he desperately hoped Cody did not spot him. Yeah it wasn't very smooth of him to hide from Cody. But what was he suppose to do… he was no where near ready to talk to him. Noah held his breath as he saw Cody's feet below the bush. _Please tell me he didn't see me. _Was all he kept chanting internally as Cody sauntered by.

When at last the steps faded Noah exhaled, catching his breath. "That was smooth…" Noah jerked back quickly to find Justin smugly smiling down at him. "Are you sure you're not gay?"

Noah sneered, standing back up calmly. "I just dropped something that's all…"

To his surprise Justin didn't push the subject as he simply shrugged. "If you say so…" A blush crept up on Noah's face as Justin winked at him smoothly. "When you're finally ready to admit it give me a call." He was again frozen by Justin's crystal eyes as his soft hand caressed his face. "I'd really like to get to know you…" And with that Justin's hand left his face. And Justin walked past him not looking back, his firm behind swaying slightly with each step.

Noah turned quickly away cursing is observations. Making his way to the juice bar he couldn't help but notice his mouth was insanely dry. Why did Justin have such an effect on him? He sat himself down at the nearest seat as he motioned to the bartender. "Orange and Mango please…"

The buzzing of the blender was the only sound he heard as he hunched over the bar, his thoughts running wild. Why couldn't he just leave him alone? What was his game? Noah couldn't help but fume as he replayed the interaction in his mind. Justin was just messing with him, making him out to be a fool. He was a genius… why was he was he slowly falling for his game? This was all his stupid heart's fault.

"Hey Noah!" Noah jerked up as he heard his name, in an annoyingly cheerful voice. And when his eyes met Katie's he couldn't help but groan. He hadn't realized he sat himself right next to Katie. "It's so great that you decided to hang out with me… after all it's been so lonely without Sadie." Her usual cheerful tone faltered a little as she mentioned Sadie. But it quickly returned as she continued to talk. "I mean you and I really don't talk enough!"

Noah rolled his eyes replying in his usual sarcastic tone. "What a tragedy." He really wasn't in the mood for talking today.

"I know right!" Noah rolled his eyes as Katie obviously didn't pick up on his sarcasm. "I mean like you seem like some one who'd be fun to talk to…" She motioned to Justin smiling brightly. "I mean what fun is checking out hot guys with out a bfffl!" Noah turned his gaze to where Justin lay, his usual smug smile plastered on face. And to his dismay in the chair beside him lay Cody.

Noah watched quietly as Cody tipped his sunglasses up to look at Justin. A smile couldn't help but make its way onto his lips as he watched Cody alter his position to match Justin's. But as usual it came up short, his hands behind his head as he crossed his legs awkwardly to match Justin. Noah couldn't help but find it all too adorable. He looked back in confusion as he caught Katie's wide smile from the corner of his eyes. "What?"

Instead of answering him like a normal human being she squealed on the top of her lungs suffocating him in a hug. Noah desperately tried to push her away, surprised at her strength as he couldn't break free. "OMG! I'm SO glad we're talking now!"

"What's wrong with you… seriously let me go…" Katie giggled putting him back down on to his seat.

Waving her hands wildly she continued ranting. Not really making much sense to Noah. "OMG! I really can't wait to tell Sadie…" But he allowed her to continue because at least she wasn't hugging him anymore. Plus this girl was not too bright, it would be best if he humored her. "She's going to be so happy when I tell her we now have a bgffl! We always wanted one… No girl group is complete with out one…"

Arching a single brow he questioned her. "A what?" This was obviously going to be a combination of stupid as well as amusing. Just the distraction he needed.

But his face paled as she explained herself. "Best Gay Friend For Life of course!" And with that she embraced him in another suffocating hug. "I'm SO happy!"

Pushing her off of him he glared steadily at her, hoping she would realize this wasn't a joke. "Seriously, what makes you think I'm gay?"

Groaning in annoyance he watched as she placed one finger to her lips in 'thought' as she spoke. "Honestly It's not that hard to tell… I mean a girl can tell…" His eyes widened slightly as she spoke. Was he really that obvious? No one picked up on it at home. She then quickly grabbed both of his hands in her own before he could pull away. "Plus when we were checking out Justin you were SO blushing!" He fumed as she implied he liked Justin, he didn't like him. And he was NOT blushing. Pulling one hand away she held it up in a cliché form of a promise. "Like if it's a secret I will so not tell anyone… I just think it's so great you're gay…" The more she spoke the more he fumed. She reclaimed his free hand and spoke cheerfully. "When Justin told me I didn't believe it at first… But Now I do!" Justin…

"Woa Woa Woa." Pulling both of his hands away he leaned back. He motioned to Justin as he spoke, his face and voice solid and calm. "Look I don't know what the hell he told you but I'm not gay…"

With that Katie's face dropped slightly. "You're not?" Noah nodded stiffly, hoping that maybe he could fool her into dropping the subject. But to his dismay she just continued as if nothing was said. "I mean Justin told me you'd deny it, but I shouldn't worry. After all he said it'd be good for the both of us to talk. Because I'm lonely with out Sadie, and you need help embracing who you are…Isn't he the sweetest!" Noah clenched his teeth getting up in the midst of Katie's sentence. "Noah you don't have to be scared… I'll help you through this…" Noah moved away from her, ignoring her as she called back to him. "Noah you forgot you're drink!"

Noah made his way to where Justin lay glaring down at him. Speaking firmly through his clenched teeth he spoke. "Justin we need to talk…"

"Hey Noah what's up?" Noah barely registered Cody address him as he fumed. Justin needed to stop.

"Aren't you going to answer him?" Noah blushed as Justin gazed at him his sunglasses tilted down. Turning to Cody his blush grew as he his anger had made him over look the fact Cody was sitting beside Justin. His adorable smile fading slightly as Noah ignored him.

Noah sighed internally and waved to Cody, his answer cold and indifferent. "Hey Cody." Noah couldn't help but notice the small frown that placed itself on Cody's face. Groaning he decided to ignore it. He couldn't do anything that might prove Justin's theory true.

But his heart ached as he saw Cody turn away from him. "Well I guess I'll leave you guys alone to talk…" When Cody turned back he had his usual smile plastered on his face, but this time it seemed forced. "I'll go see if Tyler wants to throw the Frisbee around some more…Cya!" And with that Cody left.

Justin smirked at him pushing his glasses back up. "You know it's not his fault you like him… you don't need to take it out on him…"

Turning back to Justin his scowl held firm, intentionally ignoring his statement. "Why are you telling everyone I'm gay?"

But to his irritation Justin calmly motioned to the now empty seat beside him. "Sit down you're drawing attention to your self…" Noah sneered, but obliged because he knew what Justin said was true. Leaning back he placed his hands upon his chest, wishing desperately he had his book with him. "You know Beth was just voted off… A shame really…. For you I mean… because if you don't make you're move she might try and steal him away…"

Noah clenched his eyes shut, his eyebrows furrowing in frustration. "What makes you think I care…" Noah clenched his fists tightly, he couldn't stand her after she kissed Cody. She had the ability to do the one thing he wanted to do. Shaking his frustration and anger away he spoke calmly. "What is you're obsession with my love life?"

Justin simply smirked. "I told you already… I thought you were the smart one…"

Noah sneered sitting himself up, so he faced Justin's relaxed form. "You honestly expect me to believe all that bullshit about you liking me…" Folding his arms calmly he shook his head. "I'm not a stupid girl like Katie and Sadie… I can see through you're game. All I ask is that you stop telling people I'm gay and leave me alone."

Noah watched as Justin sat himself up and turned his body to face Noah. Justin pulled his sunglasses away and peered at Noah his eyes filled with passion. For a brief moment, Noah forgot how to breathe. "I'm not going to stop until I have you…" Frozen he felt Justin grip his knee firmly, he felt like his whole body was on fire. "Talk to me… Why can't you embrace the fact you are gay… It's nothing to be ashamed about…" Shock filled his body as Justin's face moved in, only inches away from his own. "Let me help you forget Cody… Nothing good will come from liking a straight guy." Justin's silver eyes peered deeply into his own. "And you know it."

Justin was right… He couldn't be with Cody. And the pain from wanting him, hurt too much. And the feeling of having Justin so close, gazing at him with eyes of want and desire, made him feel like he was walking on air. It would be amazing if he could forget Cody. It would be so much easier to forget him if he moved on. Though he did not trust Justin fully yet.

Gazing down at his clock he was surprised to find that it was already 2:45 pm, he would have to meet up with Eva soon. Noah stood himself up straight. Peering down at Justin he motioned to the hotel. "If you are serious about all this meet me at my room at five, we'll discuss it then."

Justin smirked up at him in his usual confident manner. "So does this mean we're…"

Noah shook his head firmly, looking away from Justin's magical eyes. "No… I'm not promising anything…" Walking away he called back to Justin. "Remember five." As he made his way to the hotel he spotted Cody out of the corner of his eyes. To his surprise he stood there looking at him, Frisbee gripped in fisted hands. Noah turned away quickly… Why would Cody be looking at him?

His eyes widened slightly in realization. _Please tell me he didn't hear all that… _Noah turned back to find Cody quickly look away from him, as strange look on his face. He almost looked sad. Shaking his head he decided to think nothing of it. He had enough on his mind right now. Mostly weather or not it would be a good idea to accept Justin's request, boy the temptation was strong. His handsome face, his firm body, his beautiful eyes, he couldn't help but want him. Especially now since Justin had shown himself to be intelligent as well as handsome. Though he was no where near as fun to talk to as Cody. Nor was he as intelligent as Cody. He also didn't have the adorable childlike nature and kind heart that Cody had. And his amazing blue-green eyes… No he had to stop that Cody was impossible… He was straight. He had a chance with Justin. And it was a chance most girls would kill to have…

No he would not decide anything until he had all the information he needed. Plus the meeting was solely so he could find out a way to get Justin to stop. After all he couldn't have a relationship with a boy. What if his parents found out?

Curse his life… he should have never came on the show. He was doing so well at containing his sexuality and this all had to happen. His life was simple, school and books. And now… It was too chaotic for his liking.

* * *

_**A/N:** Hehe Justin's so Manipulative... He chose Katie cause she's so easily manipulated lol... All he wanted was to get Noah to come to him for once lol XD. More love to all you who R&R I love you guys X3!_


	7. Opening up

_**A/N: **I know alot of you can't wait to find out what happens between Noah and Justin, but you guys have to wait til the next chappy to find out... This chapter is important, but I promise you guys the wait will be worth it... lol the story takes a drastic turn there XD. Any ways with out further a due..._

_RidingTheRoughWaters__: That's an awesome idea :D… but the whole story is going to be in Noah's POV so I can keep everyone guessing until the end X3. It's more fun that way lol. Thanks for criticism though :3 NOCO FOREVER! X3._

_YoaiNaru: REALLY X3! I'm in the top three! Yay I feel so special X3._

_I LOVE you guys X3! Such nice comments, you guys make me so happy X3._

**_Summary:_**_ Noah is having a hard time suppressing his feelings for cody… some one who he actually enjoys spending time with… but because no one truly knows he's gay at home he tries to hide it because his parents would disown him if they ever found out… dealing with Izzy's constant Nagging, Cody's adorable obsession with fixing the friendship and one other camper's advances he is thrown into the midst of confusion... a confusion that logic won't be able to help him with._

**_**Don't read if you don't like Boy love… seriously**_**

_(Do not own Any of the total drama Island/action/world tour characters.)_

_Rated T for teen_

**Chapter 7: Opening up**

"I don't get what his deal is?" Noah leaned back lazily against the head board of Eva's bed book in hand. Izzy stood on her forearms; her back arched making her look like a human scorpion. Noah never could understand how she could be so flexible. It was almost as if she didn't have a spine…even though that was highly unlikely. And, as usual, Eva the power house stood lifting weights as she ranted to the pair. "How the hell can some one be happy all the time? I mean what's Geoff's problem…" Usually it was just Eva and Noah in these sessions of ranting and venting, but ever since Cody's arrival Izzy had been joining the pair every meet. Probably because Noah never did tell her what had happened between them. Though she stopped openly prying, chances were she was working a different angle. He could tell she wanted him to slip and maybe complain about Cody. Thus revealing his true feelings about him, but that was never going to happen. So no matter what he would always steer their conversations away from Cody, because even the simplest mention could drive Izzy wild. "No one can be that happy ALL the time!"

Noah shrugged as he agreed with Eva, turning a page in his book lazily as he spoke. "He defiantly is delusional. Life is not just…" Mockingly he waved a hand in Geoff's usual fashion. "One Big party!"

"Come on you guys why can't life be one big party!" Both Noah and Eva rolled their eyes as Izzy vaulted into a dance. It was a lot harder to get any sufficient ranting done with Izzy constantly interrupting with her randomness. The reason they started meeting up in the first place was to help get rid of Eva's aggression, and to give Noah an excuse to rant. Because the one thing Noah enjoyed was complaining. And with Izzy there it was a little harder to complain. Because she had the habit of getting bored easily and jumping to something else or disagreeing with them for the sake of disagreeing.

The idea for these sessions started a couple of days after Noah was voted off. He remembered how peaceful it was before. Eva would mind her own business and he would mind his own, and that's how he liked it. They didn't interact at all, until that dreadful day when Ezekiel had learned of the world of rap.

Noah remembered the day like it was yesterday. Noah lounged by the pool as soft music played from the speakers near by. Enjoying the moment, he didn't even mind that Ezekiel was lounging in the chair right beside his. That moment was short lived as the music abruptly turned. An Intern thought it would be funny to blast rap, not a very good prank but the repercussions for that one action were un expected by everyone including him.

The next day Ezekiel came to where both Eva and Noah relaxed, going on a rant about how he was now a famous player. Using ghetto slang, in his awkward Canadian accent was more painful to him than nails across chalkboard. And with a simple gaze towards Eva's direction he could tell she felt the same. And if that wasn't horrid enough he said the one thing that caused Eva to snap. And frankly he was caught completely off guard. "Yo homies I'm a player now I'm going to need some bitches and ho's eh. You and Eva are close enough eh. What do you say Ho's?" Lets just say after he and Eva cut him down to size, he toned down the ghetto fabulous life style. And that simple interaction cause both of them to develop a new found respect for one another. They both hated everyone and everything. As well as had a love for venting. Thus the sessions were born.

He could tell Eva was irritated with Izzy's interruptions as well, because the tone in her voice rose slightly. "Izzy why do you come when we both know you're not going to take this seriously?" They both needed the venting sessions, Eva needed to control her anger and Noah… well it was a nice distraction from his current problems. Swiftly motioning to the door she held a firm finger pointing. "If we're boring you, you could always do something else!"

But to their Irritation, Noah had to hold on to his book firmly as she leapt on to the bed, nearly bouncing him off. "Come on… I know you do this to blow off some steam but let's have a little fun!"

Noah spoke calmly turning another page in his book. "Izzy this is fun. What's more fun than complaining…"

"This is why you're a miserable old man Noah…" Noah glared steadily as she smiled widely.

Inhaling in frustration he turned away. "Izzy I'm as old as you are…"

Noah jerked back quickly, knocking his head against the head board, as Izzy jabbed him painfully in the chest. "Not in here!" Before Noah could stop her she yanked his book from his hands chucking it to the opposite side of the room, barely missing a stunned Eva. This girl was always so unpredictable. She smiled menacingly up at Noah as she flopped down on to his chest. "LETS PLAY A GAME!"

"NO IZZY! Like I said if you're bored get OUT!" Noah felt weight on his chest lift as Eva lifted Izzy off of him. Holding her firmly under her arm she made her way to the door with a struggling Izzy. "Me and Noah like complaining…"

Izzy turned her body so she could face up at Eva. Noah couldn't hear what was being said but something Izzy said cause Eva to place her back down. Noah was about to ask what they were going on about before Izzy lept back onto the bed cross legged. "YAY GAME TIME!" But sadly this time the impact rippled through the bed and did bounce him off.

Groaning in pain he held his chin as that was the first thing that hit the floor. Pulling himself back up, he glared towards Eva. "You agreed? Why?"

Eva simply shrugged. "She said she wouldn't leave until we played…" Motioning to Izzy she sighed in defeat. Noah nodded in under standing as he placed himself back into his pervious position on the bed. Knowing Izzy she would just keep breaking in, and Eva would be forced to keep throwing her out. That is what happened during the first session Izzy wished to join. It was two full hours of Izzy breaking in over and over again. It would be wiser to just let her have her way for now. Noah watched as Eva pulled the nearest chair towards the bed, flopping down ungracefully into it. "Now lets get this over with."

Noah watched as Izzy smiled brightly at the both of them. "I'm so Glad you agreed…" Noah rolled his eyes as she watched Izzy sway like a child on the bed. "Soooo-" Noah groaned as she extended the "so" why couldn't she just spit it out it was her idea to play a game. And she didn't even have one. "Lets play truth or Dare…"

Groaning Noah quickly lifted himself off the bed. "No way." Walking over to where his book landed, he picked it up carefully. "Why would I want to play a game stupid prepubescent girls play at slumber parties." Examining the book thoroughly, he sighed softly, luckily there was no damage, besides a few bent pages. Tucking the book under his arm he glared over to Izzy and Eva. "I'm going to go read by…"

Before he finished his sentence he heard Izzy and Eva's clucking sound escalate. He hadn't realized they had been clucking the entire time he was talking. Clenching his teeth he waved them away. "Do you really think that would work on me… childish teasing…" But the clucking continued.

He ignored it walking to the door. He was about to turn the door knob when he heard Izzy sing. "I—f you don't Pla-ay I'll tell CO—DY—!" Noah turned back abruptly his glare as cold as ice. "I'll tell him you like him…"

Noah spoke his tone cold and steady. "You don't have any proof of that…"

Izzy smiled brightly, her smile making his blood feel like fire in his veins. "Who cares if it's true or not… even though I know it is… everyone will believe me…" Noah groaned glaring at her steadily, he refused to fold. He expected Izzy to nag and pester him until he agreed. But instead she let out a giggle. God he hated it when she giggled, it usual meant something bad. "Fine we won't play…" flopping down on the bed she sighed in frustration. "Plus knowing you, you'd probably just keep picking truth and how boring is that…" Abruptly she sat herself up, and the glint in her eyes told him that she had a new idea. That usually wasn't a good thing. "How bout we just play truth! I mean we could all just open up to each other…" Smirking evilly she gripped her hands. "We can tell each other things no one else knows about us… What do you guys say… Izzy will start." Noah looked over at Eva as she looked his way.

She shrugged at him. "Why not… Might help with all my anger… You said yourself with all your psycho babble that I did need to get to the root of my anger…"

Noah groaned rolling his eyes as he sat beside Izzy on the edge of the bed. "Fine… Who am I to inhibit your progress?" Smirking towards Izzy he motioned for her to start. "And I'm curious about what the 'great' Izzy has to hide…"

Izzy smiled brightly clapping her hands together. "GREAT!" Tapping a slim finger on her chin he could tell she was trying to see what to start with. Chances are a girl as crazy as her had a lot to hide. The quiet was short lived as she leaped to her feet startling both Noah and Eva. "I GOT IT!" Dropping herself back down she held a hand to her face as if to shield her lips from a nonexistent eavesdropper. "I have a secret Crush. But I can't tell who it is yet… Not until I get him to be my boyfriend…"

Noah sighed disinterested. "That's it… you're secret is that you have a secret…"

Izzy peered at him smiling brightly. "Come on… It is a secret, did you know I had a crush… so a secret… We have to start off slow we can't just rush in head first no fun…"

Noah rolled his eyes he knew where this was going. "Fine what ever… who's next…"

Izzy pointed boldly at Eva her smile splitting her face in two. "EVA!" Eva jolted back from the sheer volume of Izzy's voice.

But she quickly recovered clearing her throat. "I guess… my secret is I've never been in a relationship…" Both Izzy and Noah gawked at her, he could tell she felt uncomfortable, but she was a sixteen year old female… she should have had at least one relationship by now. Sneering she pounded her fists her anger directed towards Noah. "I DON'T SEE YOU WITH ANY GIRLS!"

Noah scoffed waving her away smugly. "That's because I don't want a relationship…" It was a blatant lie, but how could he come out and say he wanted to be with a guy. And he couldn't.

"LIAR!" Izzy glared while poking Noah over and over again. His skin was bruising from the constant contact.

Pulling away Noah glared. "Stop that Izzy!"

Izzy shook her head violently, her hair whipping him in the face. "Tell the truth Noah! Come on we're sharing for a reason!" Pointing solidly at her chest she held her head in pride. "You probably don't know this about me but… I'm Pansexual…"

Noah gapped at her in shock as Eva held a solid look of confusion. "A what?"

Noah groaned turning to Eva. "Basically it means she doesn't have a preference…"

Izzy smiled brightly hugging her self tightly. "It's the personality that turns me on… I don't care if they're a guy, girl, or halves." Leaning back she flopped her head down on to Noah's lap smiling up at him. "I don't tell people because most wouldn't understand… but you guys do… you can't help who you love." Noah felt his throat constrict as she spoke, each word sending a stabbing pain into his heart. She didn't bug him so she could fulfill some sick fetish. She cared because she knew how it was to love some one she shouldn't. Just like him.

Noah looked up as Eva interrupted. "I get it… I mean…" Noah watched as Eva exhaled in frustration. Obviously she was trying to sort out her own feelings. "… Everyone expects me to be a lesbian…" Eva turned away finding her nails increasingly interesting as she spoke. "The thing is… I'm not…" Noah gapped unable to hide his shock. But strangely as he looked down at Izzy in his lap, she just had a look of knowing. "It was just easier to be a lesbian. I haven't met a guy yet who's found me attractive… I'd rather not deal with the rejection." Eva growled under her breath, "Stupid bastards" barely audible. He never thought that angry Eva could be so vulnerable. She acted the way she did to prevent herself from getting hurt, not because she was cruel. He played with a stray curl from Izzy's hair as he lost himself in thought. Maybe this was a good idea, he had never felt closer to the pair than he did now. "What about you know it all?"

Noah looked up from the curl to find two pairs of eyes gazing straight at him. Taking a deep breathe he decided maybe it would be easier to deal with his problem if he spoke about it to them. Plus it was only fair, he knew their secrets… They should know his. Taking a deep breath he began slowly. "As you know I have never been in a relationship with anyone…" Sighing he decided the best way to get it out was to blurt it out. So ripping his eyes away from Eva and Izzy he gazed straight up at the ceiling. His throat felt tight as he desperately tried to find his voice. Blushing brightly he began, his voice barely audible. "Izzy's right… I am gay."

"I KNEW IT!" Izzy leaped up in joy hugging him tightly. "I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!"

But he couldn't take it. It was nothing to be proud of. Pushing a shocked Izzy away from him he lifted himself off the bed. "NO IZZY!" Noah's tone of voice caused both Izzy and Eva to look at him in confusion, both of them frozen in their locations un-willing to move. Noah gripped his hair tightly turning away from the pair his voice lowering steadily. "It's Nothing to be proud of." Moving onto the opposite side of the bed, he sat himself down, his hunched back to the pair. His hair fell covering his face, his elbows on his knees as his hands fell lazily between his legs. He hated himself as he slowly began to open up. "My parents will kick me out when they find out… " He tried holding it steady but he couldn't. Noah threaded his hands into his hair gripping it as he continued, tone dead, and un-feeling. "And… I don't even want to think about what the hell my homo-phobic siblings will do to me…" Noah felt his eyes burn as he held unshed tears at bay. He had never realized how much fear he held back, regarding his sexuality, until he spoke about it out loud. He released his hair allowing it to fall back in place as he held himself softly. "It's bad enough they tortured me before…" He didn't want them to see him cry. He wanted to stop talking, to return his normal mask of indifference, but he couldn't the words just kept flooding out of him. Folding his arms he leaned his head against them, willing the tears away. "It feels like I just got over their torture… I-I wish I was normal…"

Noah stiffened as two soft arms held him softly from behind. Izzy's voice rang clear in his ears. "None of us are normal."

Noah mumbled to the ground, his sarcastic dark humor returning. "Is that suppose to make me feel any better…"

But Izzy cut him off. He could hear the smile in her voice. "Eva's a straight girl pretending to be a lesbian, I'm a crazy pansexual, and you're gay sarcastic jerk… So what we're different…" Noah groaned into his hands he didn't want to hear anymore, but to his dismay Izzy just continued. "Who wants to be normal when great people in history were weird…" Noah peeked up slightly in confusion to find her chin leaning against his shoulder, her green eyes not leaving his face. She smiled brightly counting them out as she named them. "Vango, Mozart, Da Vinci… Did you know that he was gay…"

Noah smiled softly, still refusing to look at Izzy as he dropped his hands. His arms fell limply between his legs. "No, I didn't know that." She really did know how to make him feel better. Though it was only theorized he was gay never actually proven. But it was the thought that counted.

Izzy continued smiling brightly down at Noah's hunched form. "Yeah… and like everyone back than they had secret relationships." Jumping up she pointed to herself proudly. "Like mine… no body needs to know about your love life but you… Just do what makes you happy."

Noah looked up from behind his shoulder as Eva agreed standing herself up firmly. "Yeah and if anyone messes with you again…" Pounding her fists she spoke harshly. "I'll deal with them."

Noah stood himself up and smiled from Eva to Izzy. "Thanks…" Noah looked up at the clock and saw that it was 4:50 pm. He would have to meet up with Justin. Sighing he smiled to Eva and Izzy. They were right, he did deserve to be happy. And if he played his cards right no one would ever find out about his future relationships. Maybe he should accept Justin's offer. After all it was about time he had some one to hold. "Thanks Eva Izzy… There's some one I got to meet soon… Thank you again."

Eva turned away from him blushing, shrugging as if to say "Don't mention it". And Izzy Tackled him in a hug, knocking him to the ground. "Go get him tiger!"

Noah pulled away from her. "Get off Izzy" He didn't have the heart to tell her it wasn't who she thought it was. After all he had revealed enough for one day. They didn't need to know everything about him. And like Izzy said. It needed to be a secret relation ship. Izzy finally decided to climb off of him allowing him to step out. Waving back he spoke solidly. "See you guys tomorrow." And with that he turned and left prepared to say yes to the tan Adonis.

* * *

_A/N: Now Noah admits it to other people X3... He's taking baby steps lol. O and Thanks for all the love again X3. And R&R Please I'd love to hear what you guys think X3._


	8. The Arrangement

_**A/N: **Random statements... First is it just me or does Noah flirt with Owen alot lol... I mean in Japan he called him "Chubby Buddy"... Than in Paris he called him "Big Boy" XD... I dunno bout you guys but I think that's flirting lol... Maybe there should be a OwAh Fandom XD... __Sound's like an extended "ow" XD... _If I didn't love NoCo so much I'd start it for fun X3... Or should I hmmm... I'll think about it XP... What do you guys think? (Even though I think Izzy and Owen are Perfect for each other X3... They are the only cannon couple I really like on the show...)

_And another side note, GOD Serria is ANNOYING! I hope chris forgets her parachute when she jumps off the plane lol XD. (Even though I kind of felt bad for her... that is until she admitted it was all a rouse.) _

_Lastly I'm at 45 reviews YAY X3... 5 more and I'll be at an even 50! When I reach it candy for everyone YAY! Anyway... This chappy has Yoai goodness in it lol XD. So enjoy..._

_**Harlie Davidson:** Yeah Izzy just seems like a pan-sexual kind of girl lol XD. I mean she fell for Owen, not because of the way he looked but because of how much fun he was... O and Don't cry... I promise it'll all work out for the better X3._

_**Wordwarrior192:** I'm so glad my story helped you out X3... Da Vinci actually was accused of being gay and went to trial but was never convicted (It was illegal and punishable back than)... He never married, nor had a female companion (even though he was an attractive man that many women fell for)... he perfered the company of men (lived with one for 30 yrs)... He also was a firm believer in Humanism- the belief that every person has the ability to choose for themselves what's right and what's wrong (I agree COMPLETELY!)... And most of the drawings he did for himself were of nude males, not females... And every time he drew a young man, he always drew them to be seen as 'beautiful'... It's a theory... But I personally think he was lol. (Man I'm such a Nerd... lol XD)_

_**Everyone **Thanks for Reviewing X3. You guys are so Amazingly Cool X3... All you're kind words of encouragement inspire me to keep adding to the story X3. _

**_Summary:_**_ Noah is having a hard time suppressing his feelings for cody… some one who he actually enjoys spending time with… but because no one truly knows he's gay at home he tries to hide it because his parents would disown him if they ever found out… dealing with Izzy's constant Nagging, Cody's adorable obsession with fixing the friendship and one other camper's advances he is thrown into the midst of confusion... a confusion that logic won't be able to help him with._

**_**Don't read if you don't like Boy love… seriously**_**

_(Do not own Any of the total drama Island/action/world tour characters.)_

_Rated T for teen_

**Chapter 8: The Arrangement**

Noah stood in front of the mirror brushing out his hair. He had no idea why but he was nervous. Scowling to himself, he looked over his looks. What did Justin see in him? He was average looking. He wasn't one of those guys that criticize their own looks because of low self esteem. No, he was just being realistic. Justin was the vision of perfection, while he was just average looking. There was nothing special about him physically… well besides his hair.

Running his fingers through his silky smooth hair he smirked to himself in the mirror. Unlike the rest his family that had either tight curly hair to pin straight hair, he had the perfect balance. It was the perfect balance of volume and control. Everyone in his family knew he had the nicest hair.

That simple ego boost helped him internally gather himself. Exhaling slightly he pulled at his sweater vest, straightening it to look perfect. He didn't need to worry, Justin was the one who asked him out. Obviously he found him attractive, he didn't need to work so hard. Even if he hated his nose… groaning he quickly shooed the thought away. He needed to be calm and confident. It wasn't like they were going out just yet, he still had to say yes.

Noah looked up at the clock in the bathroom and sighed. It was already 5:10 pm. Maybe this was all just a game, at first he was happy about the extra time. It allowed him time to make sure he looked perfect. But now it was worrying him. Maybe Justin was just trying to get him to admit he was gay so he could get a laugh. Or so he could have something to hold over Noah… But as a knock sounded Noah exhaled in relief. Justin came.

Noah pulled at his vest one more time straightening it as he calmly walked towards the door. He didn't need to be so nervous. Justin should be the one who is nervous. Sneering he opened the door. "You're Late…" Noah scoffed walking away, not looking back at Justin as he sat himself down on the bed. "I have a life you know… I don't have time to waist waiting for you…" Trying to keep up his face of indifference, he looked up at Justin calmly.

Only to find Justin shirtless… He couldn't believe he was doing this. Inviting Justin to his hotel room. Justin must have misread that message. He only invited him over to talk, nothing more. But that was not how normal teens saw it. They would assume he would want to make out with the hot Hawaiian… or worst.

He watched his throat clenching as Justin walk in smoothly his firm muscles showing in his shirtless form. _Shit he sure did get the wrong Idea._ Noah blushed refusing to look Justin's way as he heard the click of a locking door. He spoke firmly in his usual monotone voice. "I think you might have gotten the wrong Idea… I just wanted to talk."

Justin didn't say anything at first. He simply smirked flipping his hair as he walked towards Noah. Noah tried desperately to make him seem un-affected by the handsome man, who was a mere few steps away. "What are you doing?" Justin didn't reply but stopped right in front of where Noah sat on the bed.

Noah stiffened as Justin slowly leaned over him, forcing him to flop down back onto the bed. His throat constricted as Justin leaned over him, his ice eyes peering down at him. His eyes burning with passion and desire as it analyzed every inch of his face. Noah had to bite down firmly on his own lip to keep from kissing him. O god, did he want to kiss those soft supple lips that were just a few inches away from his. No he couldn't this was wrong on so many levels. Turning away Noah clenched his eyes shut. "Get off of me Justin."

But Justin didn't obey, instead Noah swallowed nervously as he felt Justin's breath caress his ears. Justin's voice whispered lust filling every syllable. "Are you sure all you want to do is talk?" Noah bit his lip firmly to keep from releasing the moan that burned his throat. To his frustration Justin took his lack of an answer as an invite. He held his breath as Justin placed soft kisses on his exposed neck. Slowly Noah felt his firm hand slip under his shirt, caressing his heated skin. "You'll like this better…" Noah clenched the sheets beneath him as Justin slid his soft hand against his skin.

Noah's eyes widened as he realized if he didn't get in control now who knew where it would progress. Pushing Justin away he spoke firmly gazing up at the physical god. "Justin we seriously need to talk…" The hand at his side stilled as Justin sighed in frustration.

The weight on his body lifted as Justin sat himself up. Sighing exasperated, Justin complied. "What is it we need to talk about Noah…" Noah blushed sitting himself up as well. Justin motioned to the room. "I thought when you invited me up here you had finally agreed to be with me…"

Noah sneered motioning to himself in slight irritation. "What kind of guy do you take me for?"

Justin smirked turning to Noah his eyes seemed to be on fire with unrequited lust. A fire only Noah could put out. This caused Noah to shiver. "I though you were a logical guy who understood the difference between love and lust…" Noah looked at him in confusion.

Noah sneered glaring directly into Justin's ice blue eyes. "What the hell are you trying to say?"

Justin sighed, speaking smoothly he began. "Listen, I know you have no romantic interest in me… you only want me for my body, and to experiment with your sexuality… And I'm offering you that… no strings attached."

Noah laughed cynically. "You're defiantly right about that..." Smirking he turned away, finding the idea of Justin's strangely intriguing. Holding his chin in thought, he gazed a hole into the carpet. Who said he couldn't just experiment. This would be perfect. It would allow him to grasp a hold of his sexuality, indulge in his secret desires, and not have to worry about getting emotionally attached. It would be like having a relationship with out the messy break up. After all he was only attracted to Justin on a physical level. It was no where near how he felt for Cody. Shaking his head he groaned. No not now. And if he so decided he wanted to leave, he could just leave. Logically it was perfect. Most of all it would keep his mind off of Cody.

Turning back to Justin he smirked. "Before I agree, here are my terms."

Justin smirked nodding. "Anything you want…" Justin began moving in to kiss him, but Noah stopped him.

"No." Pushing him away he stood himself up. Holding out a finger he began. "One this is no strings attached so if either of us decides to move on we can simply leave…"

Justin glared slightly, his voice showing a hint of disdain. "Still hoping to get with Cody?"

Noah sneered speaking in a matter of fact tone. "I'm doing this because I'm not even sure I want to be in this kind of 'relationship' with you…" He held up air quotes at the mention of relationship. "So if by tomorrow I get bored I'm out."

Justin winked at him flirtingly. "After one night with me… I doubt you will."

Holding up another finger he continued ignoring Justin's comment. "Two and most important… no one can find out about this…"

To his surprise Justin just smirked. "So I guess this also means we can have relationships on the side… you know to keep the cover…"

Noah though internally jealous, he covered it up with his usual mask of indifference. "Do what ever the hell you want… As long as you don't tell anyone…" Noah held up another finger his voice firm. "Three…I'm the one who sets the pace… Not you…" Noah smirked motioning to Justin. "I'll decide when we meet how often and what we do…"

Justin smiled brightly running his hand through his hair. "I love a guy in control…" Justin released a low sensual growl, causing Noah to freeze in his explanation. He wanted to forget the explanation at that moment and just attack Justin right there.

But no he had to be level headed and in control. "Four, no opening up… I do not want to know about you're past… nor do I want you to ask about mine. Most importantly I want NO ONE finding out I'm gay." Noah glared down pointing a finger at Justin's nose. He wanted Justin to know how serious he was about the last part. "I mean it NO ONE! You cannot tell anyone about my preference at all is that clear?" Noah smirked and held Justin's chin forcing him to look him in the eyes. "And if you do tell anyone I'll find out your deepest darkest secret… and reveal it to the world… Do you under stand?"

Justin didn't answer but yanked him down onto his lap, crashing their lips together. Causing Noah to straddle him, Justin broke the kiss for only a moment. "God it's such a turn on when you boss me around." Noah smirked and decided that was enough of an agreement. Wrapping his arms around his neck he moved into the kiss.

Noah gasped as Justin's hands slid under his shirts, causing them to slowly ride up from behind. And with one swift motion they were gone. All he felt was the heat from the skin to skin contact of their chests. Justin broke the kiss, only to have his lips trail kisses from his jaw to the base of his neck. Noah gasped as Justin nibbled on his skin. Noah's body arched into Justin's as he couldn't believe how good he was feeling right now. He never felt this way before, his entire body was on fire. But, as Justin pushed their bodies together, Noah couldn't help but wonder if this was a good idea. His logical mind said it was the perfect relationship. But something still did not seem right… he felt like he was betraying Cody.

He decided to ignore that illogical thought and enjoy the moment he was in. Pulling at Justin's face he pushed their lips together. After all it's not like Cody would even care what he did with Justin. Justin took control of the kiss and slid his tongue into Noah's mouth. The only emotion that childish flirt would have considering this would be "Grossed out". Noah threaded his fingers in Justin's hair pushing deeper into the kiss. And who cared this was about him… for once. Their hot bodies moved against each other as the kiss became more heated. He needed to forget him… Cody was impossible.

* * *

**A/N:** _Only Noah could turn something like "love" into a logical experiment lol... But will it work out? You'll have to read on to find out lol... O and please R&R I really appreciate it and all your comments inspire me X3._


	9. New Glimpses

_**A/N: **__Lol I noticed alot of you keep asking when Cody will show up... and you're right this is NoCo he should show up more often... So instead of waiting to update, I decided to post up the next Chap :3... It has sweet soft NoCo Mushiness in it X3... I really hope you guys like it X3... O and Cause of neko-naito I might write a joke one-shot for the pair of OwAh lol... just need to think of something good XD... And CANDY FOR EVERY ONE! YAY got to 50... I love you guys all X3... Thanks for following this story and reviewing... Your reviews REALLY help alot :3... Plus it makes me smile when I read them X3... So here we go... Noah, Cody... Take it away!_

**_Summary:_**_ Noah is having a hard time suppressing his feelings for cody… some one who he actually enjoys spending time with… but because no one truly knows he's gay at home he tries to hide it because his parents would disown him if they ever found out… dealing with Izzy's constant Nagging, Cody's adorable obsession with fixing the friendship and one other camper's advances he is thrown into the midst of confusion... a confusion that logic won't be able to help him with._

**_**Don't read if you don't like Boy love… seriously**_**

_(Do not own Any of the total drama Island/action/world tour characters.)_

_Rated T for teen_

**Chapter 9: New Glimpses**

Noah sipped on his drink as he watched the proceedings. All the campers gathered around the new comer. All who cared of course. A few people, him included, decided she wasn't worth their time. He watched idly as Katie squealed about something the awkward Beth had said, as Tyler stood asking constant questions about Lindsey. But to his surprise Cody was no where in sight. After that kiss he thought that maybe they would form some kind of relationship. But no he was no where to be found. Now that he thought of it, he hadn't seen him all week.

No he shouldn't think of Cody anymore. He needed to move on, and wondering where he was, wasn't exactly helping. Groaning internally he turned away from the group and back to the bar. In his peripherals he caught a glimpse of Justin, Justin as usual was lounging by the pool. His in his usual 'cool' positioning. His tone muscles shining from the sun that radiated on him. It was almost like the sun itself positioned itself to give the tan Adonis the perfect lighting.

Smirking to himself he couldn't help but feel smug. It had been a week since he had made the deal with Justin, agreeing to meet at 6:00pm every day. He couldn't help but feel his pride swell as he shared his bed every night with their dream man. Every girl would kill for a chance to be in the position he was in. Gazing back over to the group, he'd noticed that Beth and Katie hand moved away so they could get a better view of Justin. They all tried so hard, and it just fell into his lap. In a sense it was just revenge for Beth stealing that kiss from Cody... Some one he wanted but couldn't have...

Turning away he sighed. Even though that aspect made the situation a little easier to swallow, he couldn't believe what he was doing. He was having casual sex with a guy. And not just any guy, a self absorbed ladies man. Touching his shoulder beneath his white shirt, he brushed against the hickey he knew lay there. It was a dangerous game he was playing and he knew it. But at the same time he couldn't help but love the thrill. There was defiantly something wrong with him.

Though still haven't had 'sex' what they did do left him soar… as well as in a good mood. It was a strange combination. Now he understood why most boys his age were obsessed with the action of sex. It help him release a lot of his pent up frustrations, not to mention it made him feel like he was walking on air. He blushed as mind wandered slightly as he remembered last night. The hard passion, it was wild, he wondered if the physical connection with Cody would be the same… Noah shook his head. No he wouldn't ruin his after 'sex' high. Today he wanted to stay in his good mood.

After all since their agreement he had regularly made public appearances by the bar. Before he would only be there in the early mornings so he could be alone. He still did wake up early, mostly to make sure Justin was not seen as he exited. But as soon as Justin left his urge to get back to his book glowed brightly. The words seemed to just flow out of him on to the keyboard. No more writers blocks... no more feeling internally inadequate. He would stay in his room all day writing but strangely enough he had the urge to go swimming. Though because of his hickeys, he sighed; he would have to wear a shirt again today, no need for questions. It's ironic, as he gazed down at his swim trunks. It had been a while he actually felt like swimming, and now he couldn't show off his bare chest.

"Noah have you seen Cody…" And with that simple statement by the lisping annoyance his entire mood crashed.

Turning his body he found Beth stood right behind him smiling. Groaning he answered her not hiding his disdain. "Why are you asking me?"

Beth fidgeted slightly as she addressed Noah. At least she was smart enough to know he was annoyed. "Well I need to talk to him… I mean after we kissed, I thought we'd talk more... But I haven't seen him at all since I got here... Tyler said he hasn't seen him either... and I thought since you guys talked on the Island..."

Noah groaned, he really didn't want to talk to her right now. Least of all did he want to talk to her about Cody and her kiss. He knew he had no right to hate her, she wasn't intentionally rubbing it in his face. After all she had no idea he had strong feelings for him. But even so, it didn't hurt any less. "I don't know. I'm not his keeper."

Beth smiled brightly pointing to the distance. "O forget it there he is!" Noah turned his gaze to follow Beth's to find Cody making his way to where they were. Groaning he turned away not wanting to look at the object of his desires.

"Hey guys!" Noah's stomach clenched as Cody addressed them. His usual cheerful voice sounding like music to his ears, as Noah could tell he was smiling. He hoped his deal with Justin would help him care for Cody a little less, but it was still the same. His longing heart beated faster as Cody addressed him specifically. "Hey Noah, I was wondering…" Noah waited with bated breathe as Cody spoke.

But to his intense frustration Beth interrupted, finding herself so much more important than the rest of them… He knew that wasn't fair, but at that moment he just wanted to drive her head into the sand. "Cody we need to talk…" Noah watched quietly through the corner of his eyes as Cody nodded. And with that, he followed Beth away.

Noah sat there fists clenched as he ran through all the possibilities that sentence had. It could range from something as simple as can 'I borrow something', to something amazing as asking him out. He highly doubted the last part, but he couldn't help but wonder. He had to know. He had to know the nature of Beth and Cody's relationship.

Waiting, he listened to the footsteps to fade. As soon as they were a safe distance away he decided to follow them. Izzy was defiantly rubbing off on him.

They finally stopped at the beach. Noah hid himself behind the nearest bushes. Not making a sound. He couldn't help but slightly resent himself for the action but Cody seemed to have that effect on him. Peeking through the leaves he held his breath as he listed in.

But his body was quickly yanked back as he heard a whisper. "What are you doing they will see you like that…" Noah jerked up to see Izzy smiling menacingly down at him. That was the last thing he needed. "If you're spying you need to be more discrete."

Noah sneered glaring at Izzy. "I'm not spying… I d-"

"Blah Blah Blah… you dropped something… Blah Blah Blah" Gripping on to his head she pushed him down into the dirt as she flattened herself to the ground. "What ever… shush." Noah obeyed, cursing that with Izzy's hand on his head he couldn't see or hear what was going on.

It felt like forever, before he felt Izzy jerk him back up. "OK, now's your chance!" Noah's body jerked as Izzy swang him around whipping all the dirt off. "perfect!" And with a quick push he found himself gazing at Cody's back. He turned to Izzy uncertainty glowing in his eyes. "GO!" Noah sighed, he really didn't want to be here right now...

Wiping off the last of the dirt on his shirt he walked towards Cody, his tone monotone. "Hey Cody…" Noah froze as Cody looked over at him in shock. And he couldn't help but remain stone as he saw small tears fall from Cody's eyes. Cody…

Cody forced his usual smile. Wiping the tears from his eyes he spoke cheerfully. "Hey Noah what's up?"

Noah didn't register his question but slowly made his way to where Cody stood. His tone blunt as he spoke. "You're crying…" He nearly face palmed as Cody buried his face into his hands and began to cry more openly. He was such an idiot. Clearing his throat he placed a hand on Cody's shoulder. "Why are you crying? Is everything ok?"

Noah's heart broke into pieces as Cody's glistening eyes met his. This wasn't the usual happy go lucky Cody, he was used to. This was Cody at his rawest, no hiding emotions with his nervous laugh. Just Cody feeling pain, he couldn't help but feel the need to make all his pain go away. That is until Cody spoke. "It's just Beth broke up with me…"

Noah sneered raising an eyebrow to his statement, fisting his hands at his sides. BETH! Beth was the reason for his tears? That tramp, the one who stole a kiss and left him to drown was the reason he was crying? First Gwen, now Beth… Gwen was fairly attractive but BETH! "And you care why? Beth is the most un attractive girl on the Island." Some of his internal resentment showing as he spoke.

He could tell Cody picked up his tone, as his voice lowered to a whisper. "Exactly…" Noah looked down in confusion as Cody turned away from him wiping his tears away. "We weren't even going out… she of all people said I wasn't good enough for her…" Noah sneered at this comment, ever since her friendship with Lindsey her head grew to a proportion unfitting her attributes. There is a difference between confidence and... Big headed stupidity. A wild bore would be too good for her. How dare she just throw Cody aside... His thoughts were cut short as Cody's voice faltered. "What hope do I have with anyone else…I mean…" Cody turned back to Noah, his actions animated as he spoke. "I mean I didn't even like her!" Noah, even though he knew it was wrong, couldn't help but feel relieved. But his victory was short lived as Cody turned away burying his hands into his pockets. Noah barely heard as Cody spoke to the sand below, idly kicking a stone by his feet. "I mean I tried so hard with Gwen…" Noah gripped his chest, his heart constricting as Cody mentioned his affections for Gwen. But this wasn't about him. As Cody's pain spilled out, his selfish thoughts faded. "I some times think that no one will ever look at me in that special loving way… I'll always be just a friend … I mean…" Turning back to Noah, Cody held a pained smile. His usual awkward laugh returning as he completed his statement. "Hehe… you probably think I'm a big loser now… Maybe it was better when you ignored me..."

Noah's heart broke, he hadn't realized Cody was holding all this in. He couldn't believe that Cody felt so un loved. The confident flirt was nothing but a mask, hiding the beautiful sensitive soul that hid underneath. Just when he thought he couldn't care for the boy more… he had to see him in this light. Sighing, Noah began awkwardly. His usual mask fading as his voice showed his concern. "Come on Cody don't say that…" Cody looked up at him his eyes wide and watery. He couldn't help but find it all too adorable. Sighing he blushed, before his logical mind could stop him, he began. "You're an amazing guy…"

Cody looked up at him in confusion. Noah's heart skipped a beat as Cody smiled up at him. His bright eyes showing his true honest appreciation. "Thanks Noah… but I know you're just saying that…"

Noah shook his head, sighing in frustration. Motioning to himself, his sarcastic tone returning. "When have I ever said anything nice about any one…"

But to Noah's surprise Cody just turned away speaking softly. "At the camp you said I could so get Gwen if I tried…" Noah blushed, he had forgotten that. But at the mention of it he remembered it clearly. Mostly how the soft light of the fire, made Cody's already amazing eyes shine in contrast to the red glow. But that wasn't what Cody was referencing obviously.

To keep themselves awake they spoke all night about everything and anything. And one of the topics was Gwen. Though he resented the topic internally, at the time he didn't know why the topic angered him, he decided to help him. Cody had asked him if he had a chance, and in his sleep deprived state he had said bluntly. "It's not even a question… you can get her easily…"

He hadn't realized it before but since that night… Cody had focused all his efforts on trying to obtain Gwen. With out realizing it, he had set up Cody with another… As well as set him up to fail. If he wasn't in his sleep deprived state he would have told him that Gwen wouldn't see him the way he did. Gwen would focus on out ward appearance and could not see the beauty inside. Too blind, to see the intelligent kind heart that glowed brightly through his aqua pools. "I mean it was dumb of me to think I even had a chance…"

That single statement caused Noah to internally snap as held on to Cody's arms tightly forcing Cody to look him in the eyes. "No I don't understand why you don't see the inner beauty you hold… You don't need to try so hard to impress these morons!"Cody looked away clenching his teeth as small pools played at the corner of his eyes. Noah reacted subconsciously as he held Cody's chin gently. A soft smile gracing his lips he guided it to face him. When Cody's soft shimmering eyes met his own, his voice lowered as his tone was soft. His mask fading as each word spoken conveyed a glimmer of the feelings behind it. "You're caring, sweet, selfless, intelligent… You are an Amazing guy with nicest eyes I've ever seen…" Noah blushed awkwardly as Cody gazed at him in wide-eyed surprise, a blush turning his face a bright red. He released Cody quickly. Clearing his throat, Noah ended his statement turned away from Cody's beautiful glistening eyes, his teeth tightly clenched. "… And don't tare yourself down because these girls are too stupid to see it…" He defiantly, scared Cody off.

But instead Noah jumped back in surprise as Cody hugged his middle tightly. Noah couldn't help but blush as Cody smiled up at him, his eyes glowing. "Thanks Noah…" Noah smiled back softly. His blush grew as Cody leaned his head against the crook of his neck. Warm tears stained his shirt as Cody spoke softly. "I guess if you say it… has to be true…"

Noah laughed softly, his heart thudding in his ears. "Yeah… because you know I never lie…" Noah relaxed into Cody's hug. Feeling the urge to shoo Cody's tears away his arm warped itself around Cody's waist. A hand played idly with his soft chestnut hair. Hoping, internally that it would soothe him.

"Most people think you're a know it all smuck." Noah let out a small laugh as Cody spoke. But just when he couldn't feel happier to have Cody in his arms, his body felt weightless as Cody spoke with in his chest. "But, I know you're an Amazing guy too Noah…" Noah blushed and hugged him around his shoulders, hugging him tightly to his chest smiling.

Burying his face into Cody's soft hair, he spoke softly. "Don't let anyone bring you down Cody… They're not worth it…" And Noah couldn't help but let some of his own tears fall as this was both the happiest, and most painful moment of his life.

* * *

_A/N: AWWWWW... Noah puts aside his own issues to help Cody feel better about himself... He's such a closet nice guy X3... And Cody's need to be popular definatly steams from his internal feeling of being inadequate... which is why he feels the need to gain the approval of others... But Noah loves him just the way he is... R&R you guys... I really hope you like it X3._


	10. New Surprises

_**A/N: **__Hehe when Owen flirted with DJ on "behalf" of Noah... I seriously LOL-ed XD That was amazing... a shout out to everyone who reviewed I can't believe how amazing you guys are X3... All your comments made me so happy... and because of it It inspired me to write the most exciting/longest chapter in the story... Kinda a thank you to you guys X3... Don't worry I didn't just force it in, it helps me build up to the rest of the story... There is hinting to why Izzy hates Justin... but no definite yet... More NoCo fluffiness... And more of the Justin/Noah power struggle going on over the relationship... I'm not going to give away too much... but I promise you guys the late update was worth it X3._

**_Summary:_**_ Noah is having a hard time suppressing his feelings for cody… some one who he actually enjoys spending time with… but because no one truly knows he's gay at home he tries to hide it because his parents would disown him if they ever found out… dealing with Izzy's constant Nagging, Cody's adorable obsession with fixing the friendship and one other camper's advances he is thrown into the midst of confusion... a confusion that logic won't be able to help him with._

**_**Don't read if you don't like Boy love… seriously**_**

_(Do not own Any of the total drama Island/action/world tour characters.)_

_Rated T for teen_

**Chapter 10: New Surprises**

Noah and Cody sat side by side as they gazed up at the sun set talking. Noah sat leaning back on to his arms his legs crossed in front of him, as Cody sat beside him his chin leaned against his arms as he hugged his knees to his chest. The air between them surprisingly relaxed considering the circumstances. It had been hours since they met this afternoon. And frankly, Noah didn't really notice. All he really cared about was how Cody was feeling much better. Cody spoke his tone playful. "It's hilarious now thinking back at it…" Noah hum-ed quietly as he looked over at Cody, asking the adorable boy to go on. The laugh that followed was to Noah the most adorable laugh he had ever heard. "I mean why did I care? Beth is so creepy." Noah couldn't help but chuckle at Cody's statement.

He spoke calmly smirking at his own statement. "You defiantly dodged a bullet there."

That beautiful sound yet again pierced the silence as Cody laughed. "I sure did…" The pair gazed at the sunset as a comfortable silence fell between them. Noah couldn't help but feel butterflies flutter in his stomach as he thought about how beautifully romantic this moment would be under different circumstances. But he had to be logical, Cody only liked him as a friend. But as Cody spoke… "Um- why have you been avoiding me?" his mind went blank. Noah turned to him unable to hide the surprised look on his face as Cody spoke. "I mean I thought we would hang out once I got to the island… but I've only really talked to you twice since I've been here… why?"

Noah turned back to the sunset not wanting to meet his beautiful glimmering eyes. Exhaling softly he spoke. "I just had some of my own stuff I needed to sort out…"

To his surprise Cody didn't drop the subject. Noah caught Cody leaning forward to gaze fully into his dark eyes. "Does it have anything to do with Justin?" He looked back his confusion clearly written on his face. "I mean I've noticed Justin Hassling you lately… Does that have something to do with it…"

Noah looked away from those beautiful eyes. His tone was cold when he addressed Cody. "I would rather we talk about something else…" A simple 'Oh' was heard as an awkward silence fell between them. Cody moved away from him wrapping his arms around his knees beside him. Noah couldn't help but notice the hurt expression he wore. The adorable pout of his lips as his glistening eyes tinted a slight orange from the sunset. He wanted to tell Cody everything, he really did… but this was not something you could easily tell some one. How exactly does one go about telling a straight boy that he was using Justin to forget the love he had for him? No matter how you word such a situation it would scare the poor boy off. And right now he just wanted to enjoy the few comfortable moments he had with the boy of his dreams. They watched quietly as the sun finally disappeared in the distance. Why did he have to ruin such a beautiful moment.

His thoughts were cut short as Cody spoke softly finally breaking the endless silence. "You know I missed you…" Noah turned back shock written clearly on his face. Cody flushed slightly as Noah's eyes met his. There was only one thought at the forefront of his mind, and that was how it seemed to have an eerier similarity to his dream, obviously with out the kiss of course.

Noah smiled softly as he gazed at Cody beside him. "Yeah… I missed you too."

Cody smiled brightly, his eyes twinkling in an unspoken joy. Noah couldn't help but smile as well as Cody spoke. "We need to hang out more you and I…" Noah nodded softly. His logical mind told him it was a bad idea, but he couldn't help but agree to anything as he gazed at those beautiful glimmering eyes. "I mean I wanted to ask you this morning if you wanted to come to my room and play some of my games…" A chuckle passed through Noah's lips as Cody pointed to his chest in pride. "I'm so going to beat you."

"I highly Doubt you can beat me at video games Cody…" As Noah gazed into the fire that glowed in Cody's eyes he could tell, their passion for video games was equal only to each other. Noah was too enthralled in his conversation to notice he was blowing his cover. If any one found out how long the two spent on the beach alone, one could easily think it a date.

Noah smiled softly as Cody raised his eyebrow at him. His adorable cocky smirk plastered on his face as he spoke. On anyone else he would have torn them apart for acting so cocky. "I'm a Tech geek Noah… Computers and Video games are my life!" But the innocent way Cody went about it just made his heart melt. Any other person, including him, would wear that smile to be degrading. But Cody on the other hand… that look instead seemed playful, a playful challenge. "I'm a level one hundred Krusher in Kosmic Kaios one of the greatest Games out there…"

Noah couldn't help the look of joy that crossed his face as Cody mentioned his favorite game. It was pure torture having to be cut off of it for so long. And at the mere mention of it by the boy of his dreams, was like a dream come true. To bad said boy was straight…He couldn't help the blush that graced his cheeks as Cody pointed at him, holding his hands as if it was a pair of guns. In his usual, 'cool guy point'. "You name the time and place…" Pointing back at himself with his thumbs he finished off, his gapped tooth smile shining brightly. "And I'll beat you."

Noah chuckled lightly as Cody spoke. "O really level one hundred…" Rolling his eyes, his voice sarcastic as he spoke. "That is amazing…"

Cody leaned in an adorable look of challenge playing on his face, as his eyes narrowed. "O really and you can do better…"

Noah smirked flopping back into the sand. This is what he lived for, he couldn't help but be overly confident as he spoke. "Ever heard of Kranthor…"

His heart felt like it was about to explode as Cody laid down beside him a look of adulation clear in his eyes as he gazed up at the stars. "Yeah who hasn't heard of Kranthor… That player is a legend…" The butterflies in his stomach seemed to multiply with every word of praise spoken in Cody's joy filled tone. "People say he hacked into the system and improved it…" Just when he couldn't love the boy anymore, his knowledge of the game added one hundred points to his already amazing score. "And they say that he and a select few in the underground Alliance know where the secret Dragon Assassin level is!" It was too much, the joy he felt at this moment was more than he had felt in his entire life. To have the boy of his dreams Idolize him in such a level… It just made his heart sing with joy. He couldn't force down the smile that was gracing his lips as Cody spoke. "Why are you smiling at me like that?" Noah shook his head internally as his eyes met Cody's confused look.

Smirking Noah turned back to the stars. "Well… You see I'm Kranthor."

His heart skipped a beat as Cody turned his entire body towards him. Cody leaned in his eyes wide the look of admiration that shown seemed to have doubled. "YOU'RE KRANTHOR!" Noah's heart leapt as Cody gripped his shirt, basically laying the top half of his body upon him. The joy and excitement in Cody's voice made his heart sing. "You have to teach me! Can you get me into the Underground Alliance! I've always wanted to do the Dragon Assassin level!" The fire that sparked in his eyes as he spoke with passion about his favorite game was turning him on more than anything else could.

Unintentionally Noah's voice came out a breathy a whisper as he spoke."Sure Cody." At that moment, Noah's body had a mind of it's own. His heart taking over as Noah's hand touched Cody's face softly his thumb rubbing small circles against Cody's jaw. Cody's eye widened from the action, but Cody did not pull away. Instead, the grip on his shirt soften as Cody's eyes lidded. The rise and fall of Cody's chest quickened as he felt his own breath quicken. His heart pounding threatening to beat out of his chest as he gazed up Cody's innocent blush. He couldn't take it anymore. The gap between there lips slimed as Noah guided Cody's face to his own. Cody's beautiful eyes closed his plush lips mere centimeters away as Noah slowly sealed his eyes.

"Do you know what time it is?" Noah's eye's widened in shock as Justin leaned in beside the pair. A feeling of regret and anger plagued him as Cody quickly scrambled away. Cody returned to his previous position, hugging his knees to a chest a bright red blush covering his face as he refused to look any where but the ocean. Noah glared up at as hey stayed put lazily lying in the sand, though internally furious; he wasn't sure what would have happened. But how dare he interrupt. A glare burned his as well as Justin's eyes stayed not leaving Noah for a moment. Justin's voice showed ever ounce of his annoyance as he spoke firmly. "It's 8:00pm… what are you and Cody doing alone on the beach at this time…" Noah turned away gazing at the stars, a look of disinterest gracing his face.

Noah spoke firmly through his teeth, his anger hidden by sarcasm. "I could ask you the same thing… Or is spying one of your Hobbies." Was Justin looking for him? Or did he follow him? He realized they were meant to meet at 6:00pm. It had slipped his mind, but why should Justin care so much. After all he was the one who openly suggested that they see other people… though he and Cody weren't 'seeing' each other per say… and to believe differently would be foolish. But that moment, had his mind doing back flips as he tried to understand. This is why he hated love.

Noah internally fumed as Justin didn't answer his question. But instead he turned to Cody, his tone cold. He desperately tried to keep his cool as he fisted his hands at his sides. "Your lucky I'm the one who found you… anyone else would think you were both on a date…" Noah clenched his teeth tightly, he didn't want to do anything to peak anyone's suspicion.

But this was too much, no matter how much he denied it to Justin, he knew Justin knew. And it was cruel for him to tease him underhandedly like this. Noah knew there was no hope for them… or at least he did… This was all so confusing. But one thing he knew was, he didn't need Justin reminding him… Noah opened his mouth ready to retaliate. "Are you really so bored with y-"

Cody interrupted suddenly, his voice sharp and shaky as he stood himself up abruptly. Surprising both Noah and Justin with his quick action. "Come on Justin stop teasing Noah he's not gay!" Noah's throat constricted as Cody spoke. He refused to look at the smug smirk Justin probably had plastered on his face. The reasons for avoiding him in the first place came rushing back to him. Did that moment mean Nothing to Cody? Was it just a moment of weakness… or was it even going to be a kiss. It felt like it was, but to have Cody and stand there denying he was gay, would mean it wasn't. Noah stood himself slowly as well, the moment was ruined. And to make matters worst Cody pulled him in his arm around his shoulder, in a 'buddy' fashion. The action just reminded him of the pure joy he felt only moments ago. Cody continued though his voice still shook. "Just because two guys hang out alone, doesn't automatically make them gay… right Noah?" Noah glared at Justin to find the smirk he predicted on his face.

Now was not the time to feel sorry for himself. Justin would not be able to have this victory. Holding his head up high he wrapped his arm around Cody, as he spoke sarcasm dripping from every syllable. "See Justin can't understand that because he has no friends…" Glaring steadily into Justin's Ice eyes he smirked as Justin's smile dropped. "Narcissists can't make friends…"

"That didn't seem to bother you yesterday…" Justin glared back at him smirking, though his eyes burned with fury.

Noah released Cody and stepped towards Justin, his form rigid. His hands tightly fisted at his sides. "You're not as amazing as you think you are…"

"And you are?" Justin retorted, his anger peaking as he spoke. "You blew me off to hang out with Cody of all people…" Noah looked over to find Cody fidget slightly in place, his eyes wide as he looked from Justin to Noah his confusion obvious. It was such a great night… why did Justin have to ruin it. Noah's eyes widened slightly as Justin spoke in a whisper only audible to him. "Don't be stupid… he'll never feel the same… Tonight was a fluke you'll see tomorrow he'll be avoiding you like the plague" Noah glared as Justin returned the glare silently. Internally he knew he was right, but he would never allow him that luxury. He returned the glare refusing to break eye contact, both unwilling to loose the un-spoken power struggle that raged between them.

Cody's shaking voice broke the tense silence that the pair shared. "Not to interrupt but I think I'll just get going… see you around Noah hehe…" Before Noah could wave goodbye, Cody was gone. His shadow faded as he ran through the trees.

Noah sneered his internal anger showing through his eyes as he met justin's. "What the hell is you're problem…"

"We were suppose to meet up at Six today." To his surprise, Justin gripped his hand firmly. The anger in his eyes faded as his tone returned to it's usual flirty nature. "You blew me off to be with another boy… And I saw you about to kiss him… how was I suppose to act. "

"We weren't… and besides…" Noah exhaled his frustration as he pulled his hand out of Justin's grasp. "I thought this was no strings attached…" He turned away from Justin, his back facing him, as he looked to the sea. He ran his fingers through his own soft hair as he spoke in a matter-of-fact like tone. "That was the deal remember…"

"If you say so…" Justin's calm voice rang softly as he spoke. "I know the deal… I just really wanted to be with you tonight…" Noah stiffened as two of Justin's strong arms wrapped around his slim waist. A shiver passed through his body, as Justin whisper sensually in his ear. "I missed you is that so wrong…"

Noah pushed him away. His tone harsh as he spoke. "You couldn't 'entertain' your self for one night."

"Come on why do you even like him…" Justin gazed into Noah's eyes, his anger sparking with in his eyes.

Noah pushed Justin aside and walked past him. "I don't want to talk about this... I'll see you tomorrow…"

But as he passed him, Justin gripped his arm firmly. He tried to pull free but Justin held him in his place, his glare meeting Noah's dark fathomless eyes. "It's either Cody or me… Who will you pick?"

This was too much, this deal wasn't worth any of this. He finally had a beautiful decent conversation with some one who understood him. "I'm not sure exactly sure how I feel about Cody, nor do I know how our friendship will progress…" He was not going to give up Cody for this self indulgent fool… The choice was easy. "One thing I do know was this deal you and I have… was a mistake and I want out…"

Justin's anger peaked, a fire burning in his eyes. "You're choosing that geek over me?" Noah's body jerked suddenly as he found himself facing Justin. Justin held both of his arms firmly in his grasp. "Don't you get it by tomorrow he'll deny this ever happened… and you know it." Forcing him to pay attention to what ever that moron had to say. "Plus if you break the deal now nothing is keeping me from telling every one you're gay..." Noah's eyes widened. He knew Justin was right but it wasn't worth it… he cared for Cody. It would be painful to ignore him… but it would be more painful to have Cody ignore him. But no Cody, ever lovable Cody would never betray him like that. The kiss on live TV didn't faze him, he highly doubted this moment of weakness would too. It was a sure gamble. Gamble... that's it his one and only way out...

Shaking his head he turned to Justin his gaze firm, a smirk playing on his lips as he spoke. "Lets make a bet, if Cody speaks to me tomorrow, you'll let me go no strings attached, and you will not be allowed to tell anyone I'm gay nor will you be able to speak a word to any one about our little 'mistake'… like it never happened… If you break this wager I'll tell everyone about the little known fact you are a test tube baby… See if girls will fawn over you than."

A look of shock graced his perfect features as Justin interrupted him. "How did you find out about that?"

Noah smirked an evil glint in his eyes as he spoke. "I'm a professional Hacker… I did some research since our deal, as a precaution of course… You'd be surprised what you can find on the internet."

Instead of fear, Noah was surprised to find, his usual smug smirk on his face. "Fair enough… And if I win we'll keep going the way we were… except this time, on my terms…that means no Cody. And…" His evil smirk grew, causing Noah's stomach to drop as he finished. "I will be allowed to continue to date Izzy as well… and you will not be able to speak a word of it to her… I think it's just punishment for you being with Cody tonight. And if you break my part of the wager… I'll give your parents a call personally telling them you are gay."

Noah's eyes widened in complete shock at Justin's confession. "You were with Izzy while you were with me?"

"It was Izzy's dumb idea to keep it a secret…" Justin didn't answer him fully but the smile on his face was enough to reveal all.

Noah sneered folding his arms. "You can't honestly expect me to agree to that."

A chuckle escaped Justin's lips. "What not so confident now… I thought Cody was you're friend…"

Noah's eyes Narrowed as he smirked back at Justin. He held his and out to Justin. "Prepare to loose… And don't be too upset when Izzy tears you apart." But as Justin gripped his hand, he couldn't help the doubt that settled in the pit of his stomach.

* * *

_**A/N:** Does Cody feel the same... or was it a moment of weakness... will Noah win the bet? And how will Izzy punish the both if she ever finds out... Ooooo... The plot thickens... All these answers and more on No... Logic... For... The... Heart... *TDI theme music begins to play as credits roll* lol_


	11. Uncertainty

_**A/N: **Owen's song about Izzy was SO cute X3... And that episode just solidified PimpedOutGreenEars's theory about Noah trying to break them up lol... Dude I think Noah might have a thing for Owen XD... Even so I'm still all for NoCo... Nothing is better than Nerd love... But as a side note I do have an idea for OwAh But nothing worth writing... Still brain storming lol... And to all my loyally Awesome readers... All I'm going to say is you guys are smart X3... not going to say why... But just know you're awesomeness in awesome never ceases to amaze me X3._

**_Summary:_**_ Noah is having a hard time suppressing his feelings for cody… some one who he actually enjoys spending time with… but because no one truly knows he's gay at home he tries to hide it because his parents would disown him if they ever found out… dealing with Izzy's constant Nagging, Cody's adorable obsession with fixing the friendship and one other camper's advances he is thrown into the midst of confusion... a confusion that logic won't be able to help him with._

**_**Don't read if you don't like Boy love… seriously**_**

_(Do not own Any of the total drama Island/action/world tour characters.)_

_Rated T for teen_

**Chapter 11: uncertainty**

Noah groaned as he heard duel squealing emanate from behind the bar. Since Sadie had come to the island that has been all he's been hearing. And Noah couldn't get any peace and quiet. The annoying pair had decided that he was their new 'gay' best friend and followed him every where. Which was an annoyance all its own, but added to the fact that their favorite topic to discus was Justin, was just pure torture. "Like OMG what do you think of Justin's hair today, isn't it Fab?" Just another reason to add to the long list of reasons he wishes he wasn't gay.

"I know it's so amazing!" He really didn't have the temperament to deal with this at all. He still hadn't seen Cody today, and the sun was slowly beginning to set. The only reason he endured Katie and Sadie's unison squealing was because he wanted to be seen by Cody. Other wise he would be hiding out. This torture wasn't worth it, was it? No it was, anything was better than dealing with Justin's smug nature. How could Cody do this to him… he should have known.

What was the most frustrating was he still hadn't come up with a decent strategy to take down Justin, in case he did loose. He had been working on one since mid afternoon, when he first began to loose all hope of seeing Cody. There were just too many factors, this stupid world of love had too many out comes. Not to mention the fact that Justin held all the cards. No matter how many strategies he had come up with, the ending was always the same, he was screwed. If he told Izzy she would obviously snap and take it out on him, after all they were friends and he had slept with her boy friend and now knew, but never told her. And still would have too… which caused him to vomit slightly in his mouth at the thought. There was no way Izzy would forgive something like that. And history had always shown him that in a cheating relationship, the person that held most of the blame was the friend. And that was with out adding the torture his family would surely put him through after Justin's call if he did break the deal and tell her. But that was better than the alternative.

"Like it's always So perfect!" Telling everyone he was gay before Justin had a chance. Yes it would take most of the power out of his court, but Noah would be stuck picking up the pieces of his shattered life. Yes he had his problems, but he had grown comfortable at his house. And let's face it he wouldn't last a day on his own, he lived a sheltered life. Not much in the survival skills department in his repertoire.

"O and his eyes!" And if Cody ever found out he would surely never speak to him again. But Cody was already avoiding him so what was the point. Justin won… He really wished they would shut up about Justin, if they knew what kind of heartless bastard he really was… they wouldn't fawn over him they way they did.

"Will you two SHUT UP!" Noah turned abruptly as a voice resonated from beside him. He had never been happier to hear that booming voice of Eva's. "I'd like to get something to drink with out having to listen to you moron's go on about Justin!" And with that Eva turned back to the bar to finish her drink in peace.

Noah spoke sarcastically as he picked up his drink from the bar. "I'm glad some one said it." He barely registered Sadie and Katie's disappointed expression as he moved away.

But he did catch Sadie's whisper. "Are you sure he's gay?"

Noah rolled his eyes as Katie simply whispered back. "Yeah positive."

He couldn't take it anymore. He needed to get out and away from everyone. Justin that heartless bastard ruined his vacation. Even though before he felt like he was invincible. Now he just felt sick to his stomach. Everything was so perfect… Shaking his head firmly he refused to allow his mind to drift back to last night, and the disappointment he was feeling now. He just needed to get through this, just like he got through his siblings torture. Everyone had a weakness… and even though Justin would disagree, nobody was perfect. And he would find a way to bring him down.

Noah's thoughts were abruptly cut short as he heard some one call to him. And to his dismay Eva had followed him. "What's with you today? You're panties on too tight?" Noah groaned He really didn't want to talk. He had to either find Cody, or take Justin down. Noah exhaled as he looked over to where Justin sat. He could feel his eyes watching him from beneath his sunglasses a smug smirk on his face. His fists tightened at his side as Justin puckered his lips as if blowing a kiss to him. That smug Asshole… "What the hell is your problem?"

Noah just waved her off barely registering her question as his focus remained on the hotel doors. Where could Cody be? "I'm fine… Have you seen Cody today?"

Eva sneered shrugging her shoulders. "Why are you asking about-"

"Still haven't seen Cody today?" He turned abruptly to find Justin's smug face smiling brightly at him. That smug moron, why was he stalking him?

"What the Hell do you want?" Noah turned to find Eva's eyes burning. Eva hated Justin, they spoke about the hatred often. Mostly because Noah could tell she was attracted to him. The tall tell sign of this attraction was she was the meanest to him. She either avoided him, or insulted him. It might be strange to assume she liked him based on that alone. But with knowing Eva the way he did, he knew it was just her way to protect herself. In her eyes it was better for him to hate her on her terms, then to allow him in just so she could have her heart broken in the end. If only he took her lead as well. He wouldn't be in this problem to begin with if he had.

"Nothing from you Eva…" Justin waved her aside, turning those ice cold eyes to him. Noah peaked over to see Eva's entire body stiffen, her face tinted a red in either a blush or in anger. Noah really couldn't tell. But one thing he did know was Eva was furious. Smirking to himself he imagined Justin, face down in the dirt bleeding. That was defiantly something he would love to see. That smug face bruised, his 'beautiful' bone structure smashed. Just dessert for Justin's manipulation.

But sadly instead she just fisted her hands as she release a low throaty growl. Turning away from the pair she stomped away. Noah was both proud of her progress and disappointed that he wouldn't get to see Justin bleed. Though he would have rather seen Justin bleed, especially now with Justin's disgusting smirk plastered on his face, as he motioned to his watch. "You know it's almost six right…" Justin had never worn a watch before this moment. The reason he had was so he could know second by second how long Cody was avoiding him. Just so he could rub it into Noah's face.

Sneering Noah turned away his arms folded. "You know I think Eva has a valid question…" Justin gave him a questioning look. Sighing in exasperation he spoke not hiding an ounce of his annoyance. "Just tell me what the hell you want to I can get back to my boring life…"

Justin just laughed, his infuriating evil laugh. "I wouldn't call it boring…" Noah had to desperately hold down his lunch as Justin winked. Motioning to the hotel doors Justin spoke smoothly. "Remember our deal, every day at six…"

Groaning Noah spoke monotone and unfeeling. "You can't be serious…"

A sly smirk played on Justin's fat lips. "I'm very serious…" Noah turned away, ignoring the moron. He wanted him to go away. He wanted him to leave. But no as Noah made his way to his room, Justin just followed him.

Noah finally reached his door. Sneering he reached for his key, ignoring the boy beside him. "Why must you be so needy… My answer is no…"

Noah felt his body Jerk slightly as Justin pulled on his arm forcing him to face him. "A deal's a deal… or should I tell everyone about your little secret…"

Noah clenched his teeth. Justin couldn't be serious, this deal could be off tomorrow for all he knew. After all the day wasn't over yet, Cody could come and see him before the day was over. Even though Noah lost all hope of that happening, it still could. No it wouldn't… he had to be realistic. Why would Cody come see him? It wasn't like he even had feelings for him, other than friendship. And Noah had made a move on him. For a genius that was surely the most idiotic move in history. Making a pass on a straight boy… no now wasn't the time for that. Right now the only thing he needed to worry about was keeping his secret. "Come on one more night… just in case you do win…"

One more night couldn't hurt. If Justin did win, this would be the last night everything would be on his terms. Plus anything was better than internally worrying himself to death. Because all he could think about was Cody's hatred, his disgust, their lost friendship. It was hopeless… Sighing Noah remained cold and confident as he spoke. "Fine… But get out as soon as we're done…"

Noah's blood boiled as Justin smirked, gently caressing his skin. "What ever you want…" Justin leaned in, closing the gap between their lips. Noah's lips remained frozen at the contact. But as Justin, pulled his hips tightly against his own, the passion he previously felt the nights before rushed back to him. The shirtless male god held him tightly with in his grasp. He best start enjoying it, after all chances were Cody would never speak to him again. Wrapping his arm around Justin's neck, Noah pulled him in closer deepening the kiss they shared. His other hand fumbled behind him, desperately trying to open the door. Pushing the door open, they made their way to the bed, a trail of clothes following behind them. The only person he wanted to be with right now… was never going to speak to him again.

Though he couldn't shake the guilt he held for betraying Izzy. One thing rang clear in his mind. If he didn't do this he might as well just kiss his life away. Izzy would understand… wouldn't she?

The Next day:

Noah groaned as he heard his alarm sound. He just wanted to sleep for a few more minutes. That was a crazy dream. Noah shifted slightly but to his surprise he felt a weight upon him. Turning his head slightly he laughed to himself sarcastically as a nude Justin lay beside him. Last night wasn't a dream… the nightmare was only beginning. Justin had won… Cody had not come to see him. And now he was forced to continue this sick relationship. A groan emanated from the body beside him. "Turn that stupid thing off…"

The arm moved away, turning his body Noah turned towards Justin, mocking him. "Sleep well sunshine…" The least he could do was make Justin as miserable as he was.

Noah couldn't help but smirk at the glare Justin was giving him. Obviously he wasn't a morning person. Noah lifted himself to lean on his elbow as he watched Justin lift the alarm clock, sleep still clouding his vision. "It's 6:00 am… No one's up at six…"

Noah pulled himself up out of bed stretching his aching muscles out. "That's the point… I want you out as soon as possible. " He refused to meet Justin's eyes as he spoke. That male might have his body now… but he would never have his affection.

He felt Justin lift off the bed as he heard mumbling ring from behind him. "Still sore I see." Noah bent down to pick up his discarded boxers that lay right beside the bed. Pulling them on, he barely registered Justin was speaking to him. It wasn't until Justin stood in front of him his pants back on, did he finally hear what Justin was saying. "So what will happen next?" Noah looked up at Justin in confusion. Justin sighed answering his unspoken question. "I just want to make sure you're not going to bail on our deal…" Noah caught Justin's sarcastic smirk as he continued. "Not unless you want the whole world to know you're gay..."

Noah stood himself up and walked past Justin, heading for his dresser. Speaking calmly he addressed Justin with out looking at him as he pulled out a new pair of swim trunks. "I won't… Just leave."

Noah jumped as he felt Justin warp his arms around his slim waist. Noah's face heated up as he felt Justin's bare chest press against his naked back. Justin's breathe caressing his ear as he spoke. "You're telling me you don't want more of this… We could pop in a quickie before I have to go…" And with that Noah felt Justin kiss down his neck.

Noah shuddered but held his body under control. Of course he wanted more physically, but internally he hated the shmuck. He just wanted to push him off of the balcony at that moment. But he needed to act as if it didn't matter. Justin would never know he was getting to him. Speaking calmly, he addressed Justin. "I thought you wanted to keep this a secret from Izzy…"

Noah felt his smirk against his skin as he answered him. "You're probably right… knowing her she's probably up already… But I defiantly want to meet up with you again today."

Noah blushed, he couldn't believe Justin wanted to see him again so soon. Smirking he turned himself in Justin's arms, smirking up at him. "You're a greedy bastard aren't you…"

Justin just smirked back down at him. "Don't lie, you want this as much as I do… Plus remember it's my call…"

Noah sighed looking away, his sarcastic tone ringing clear. "You really are a smug son of a bitch…" Justin gave him a look that simply said, 'wouldn't you be?' But Noah didn't answer him. He just pushed Justin away. "Fine… Just get out before some one wakes up…" Justin didn't say anything, but he leaned in placing a gentle kiss upon his lips. Causing Noah to sneer in disgust, as he watched Justin slip on his sandals.

Justin just smirked blowing a kiss to Noah. "I'll give you a heads up when I have my 'needs'…" Noah remained still, folding his arms as he faced the boy.

Noah sneered looking away from Justin's gaze. "Don't you have a girlfriend for that… Even though I think she deserves better than _you_. I just hope she wises up soon…"

"With out your help of course…" Justin just laughed waving back to noah. "And unlike you… she doesn't put out… But I'll get her by tomorrow… we have plans…" Justin stopped momentarily motioning to the door. "I thought you closed this…"

Noah turned back to Justin a look of confusion in his eyes, as he gazed at the door which was slightly ajar. "I did…" Or at least he remembered closing it.

Justin just shrugged pulling open the door. "What ever… you sure are careless for some one trying to keep a secret…" And with that Justin just shut the door behind him.

Noah walked into the bathroom clean clothes in hand. He turned as in his peripherals he caught a glimpse of something that caused him stop. Turning to the reflection he groaned as on his shoulder lay a bruised hickey. He sighed; it was a sick form of branding. He would yet again have to wear a shirt. There had to be a way for him to fix this all... he could have sworn he shut his door the night before.

* * *

**A/N:** _Lol Yep all you guys predicted it XD... You guys are moving on to the next challenge... Cody did avoid Noah lol... or did he... hmm... That door seems strangely suspicious don't you think... or it could be Izzy breaking in and finding them together... or not... or Noah did just forget to close the door... hmmm... R&R my peeps._


	12. Truths Revealed

_**A/N: **__O NO! NOAH! Why that stupid Alejandro jerk voted him off... Side note, It's so obvious Noah has a thing for Cody XD. He was openly making fun of Serra for liking Cody, and he never does that lol. O and La Musouka you are so right XD. Owen so has a thing for Noah XD. "Noah is the funniest guy I know, making him laugh is like getting an A+..." LOL XD. Hero worship much lol. And how he spent the whole day trying to make Noah laugh, that was so adorable X3. O and when he said "I wanna top his honor roll!"... I seriously Lol-ed XD... Haha he wants to top Noah's 'honor roll'. XD wow I have a dirty mind XD... ANY WAYS! You won't find out who opened the door... don't worry it'll happen soon, but I do promise lots and LOTS of drama in this chappy... LOTS of love to all you guys X3... Your reviews make me so happy X3. I love you all... as friends lol. XD_

**_Summary:_**_ Noah is having a hard time suppressing his feelings for cody… some one who he actually enjoys spending time with… but because no one truly knows he's gay at home he tries to hide it because his parents would disown him if they ever found out… dealing with Izzy's constant Nagging, Cody's adorable obsession with fixing the friendship and one other camper's advances he is thrown into the midst of confusion... a confusion that logic won't be able to help him with._

**_**Don't read if you don't like Boy love… seriously**_**

_(Do not own Any of the total drama Island/action/world tour characters.)_

_Rated T for teen_

**Chapter 12: Truth's reveiled**

**One week later:**

Noah sat in Eva's arm chair, mindlessly flipping through the pages of his book. It was killing him having to sit through their sharing sessions, because their trust in him was misplaced. He was keeping a very important secret from Izzy, and though he had done so well thus far at keeping the guilt down. It was becoming harder and harder for him to keep his mouth shut as Izzy spoke jumping up and down on the bed in joy. "Justin is so HOT! I can't believe I got him so easily… I didn't even have to set up my man trap…" Noah groaned as he would yet again have to listen to Izzy talk about Justin. "He has the softest lips…" It was heart breaking, because she trusted him enough to tell him who her secret boy friend was. "His eyes… They're like diamonds… no ice… No ICE DIAMONDS!" He remembered how Izzy forced Eva and Noah into secrecy stating that it would ruin the relationship if anyone else knew. Too bad he already knew, before she told him… and was sleeping with him. It was heartbreaking to have some one put so much undeserved trust in him.

And he couldn't help but feel sorry for Eva as she patently sat through Izzy's descriptions. Vivid descriptions, he might add, of their make out sessions. Especially since Eva still had a small flame burning for the Hawaiian god. But he could tell her patents was running thin as she began to pump he weights with more fury. Her teeth clenched tightly as she spoke. "I get it you're with Justin… can we talk about something else -" Eva's statement abruptly ended as a knock on the door sounded.

Noah peeked up from his book to find Eva's surprised face gazing back at him. Speaking in his usual monotone fashion he motioned to the door. "Expecting some one Eva?"

Eva clenched her teeth and shook her head. She dropped her weights with a resounding thud as she made her way to the door, her fury obvious at the interruption. Throwing open the door her booming voice rang clear showing every ounce of her frustration. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT!" Noah barely made out the words of the quivering voice on the other side of the door.

Izzy smirked turning to Noah her smile broad. "What do you think it's about Noah…" Noah just shrugged turning to the door way hoping to have a glimpse of the person who interrupted their session. It was just an intern, but what business would an intern have with Eva. He gazed back at Izzy to find her sprawled out in the bed, her head hanging upside down off of the edge of the bed. Sighing she began softly. "Speaking of weird… what's with you lately…" Noah froze a look of confusion clear on his face as he lifted a brow at her. "You usual complain like crazy… but lately you've been so quiet, just sitting there listening…" Izzy counted out her fingers as she held them in front of her face. "No snide remarks, no complaints, not even a sarcastic joke…" Red curls flung as Izzy flipped herself on to her stomach, curving her back as she leaned against her straightened arms. "I mean… did aliens suck your personality out of you or what?"

Noah scoffed hoping to conceal the inner turmoil that raged with in him. "I'm fine… I just don't feel like talking…"

Izzy leaped up as she swings her legs around. She glared solidly at Noah as he looked back to the door, trying to evade her gaze. "And it's always worst when I mention Justin… You're eyebrows wrinkle up when I do… Is there something up between you guys…" Noah clenched his teeth tightly. Why did she have to ask him… He couldn't tell her, and it wasn't in him to lie to anyone. Evade the truth yes… but lie, it was impossible for him. Not only that he felt horrible enough for spending night after night with her boyfriend, but to add lying. He would never be able to sleep soundly again. He finally met someone who understood him as a person. Some one who understood the hardships of being and out cast… It wasn't fair. But if life was fair he wouldn't be gay in the first place, and part of a very closed minded family.

And with that he remembered why he needed to lie. If he did tell Izzy, she would go straight to Justin, and do who knows what to him for cheating. And after Justin's well deserved punishment, he would make the call to his extremely right winged parents. Thus ending his life forever, forget college, he'd be lucky to complete his final year in high school. Was it really worth loosing his entire life? Yes he loved Izzy more than he did his own family, but he had to be logical, it wasn't worth loosing his entire life, at least not now when he had nothing to his name… Even so if Izzy was in his place, he knows for sure she would tell him. After all Izzy was a way better person than he would ever be. She cared about him as a friend, she encouraged him to finally come to terms with his sexuality. And how was he repaying her, by sleeping with her boyfriend. He had a very important choice to make. Noah opened his mouth calmly, when Eva came back with two envelopes. "YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE THIS IZZY!" Her timing couldn't have been more perfect, because at that moment Izzy turned away from Noah her full focus on Eva. "We got another chance to compete!" Eva handed the envelope to Izzy, she tore it open in one swoop a huge menacing smile plastered on her face. "They'll pick us up at the docks tonight!"

Noah turned back down to his book his voice monotone as he spoke. "They can't expect you to be ready by tonight… they didn't give you enough time…"

But his statement fell on deaf ears as Izzy leapt happily up and down on the bed, cheering on the top of her lungs. "YES! Another shot YAY!" Noah watched in awe as she back flipped over and over with each moment in the air. "Izzy's back in the game!" And with that simple statement it made him realize it was now or never… if he told Izzy now, she would not have the ability to confront Justin. It would buy him some time, and it would allow him to release the powerful guilt he was feeling. He couldn't take lying to her anymore. Justin wasn't worth her affection. He never was…

Noah inhaled deeply, speaking firmly interrupting Izzy's cheers. "Izzy before you go there is something I need to tell you…" Sadly Izzy didn't stop, she just kept jumping and cheering.

Eva just chuckled, barely registering the seriousness in Noah's voice. "We get it you'll miss us…" Noah cringed as Eva latched onto him, locking him in a headlock. Noah struggled desperately as she mused his hair, a playful tone in her voice. "Get over it you girl…"

Izzy leapt down and embraced the pair. Her tone cheerful, and full of life. "We'll miss you too Noah!" Noah gasped unable to breathe, but what he needed to say was important, he had to tell her before she left or she would never forgive him. She would be stuck to a loveless, dishonest relationship. The only way she could fully be happy was if she knew the truth.

Noah slipped himself from their embrace his voice cold. "No, I can't do this anymore…" The room went silent, a dead silence that caused his skin to crawl. He wanted to leave, just let her go uneducated. But he couldn't, because They trusted him. And he… broke that trust. Sighing Noah continued his tone firm. "Izzy, remember when you asked me why I always look so tense when you mention Justin…" Izzy nodded, her gaze didn't leave his as he spoke. Taking in a deep breath of the thick air he continued, trying to keep his voice steady. This was it the end of their friendship. "Well, the reason is, Justin is cheating on you… with me…" The entire room went silent. No one moved for what felt like forever. But Izzy finally broke the silence.

But not in the way he expected. "HAHA funny joke Noah, we all know Justin's straight."

Noah glared firmly, his anger peaking as the pair burst into a fit of laughter. This was the last thing he expected. "Izzy! I'm serious… When have I ever joked about something as important as this…" But to his dismay Izzy just continued to laugh. His body jerked as Izzy fell into him laughing.

Gripping onto his shirt she desperately tried to catch her breathe. He voice broken from the laughter she spoke. "Justin wouldn't be dumb enough to cheat on me… I mean I'm always watching him…"

Noah moved away his voice firm, as he watched her fall to the ground laughing. "Izzy, Justin's cheating on you… you don't know what I'm risking by telling you this… Don't tell Justin I told you…" Both Izzy and Eva continued laughing a brief we promise escaping through their bouts of laughter. Just when he tried to do something to help Izzy she doesn't believe him. Noah sneered walking away to the door. "What ever… Just don't tell Justin I told you…" And with that he slammed the door shut.

**Later that night:**

Noah paced around the room his teeth tightly clenched. He had to stop this, even though Izzy didn't believe him he couldn't allow this to continue. He would have to tell Justin to break up with Izzy. It was the only way. Yes he would be technically breaking their deal but was it worth it. If Justin was as in 'love' with him as he claimed to be he would agree. But that was clinging on to a small hope. Noah held his breathe as the clock clicked closer and closer to six o'clock. With every second, the feeling of dread grew and grew. Finally the door creaked open.

Noah turned to find Justin walk smoothly into his room, a smug smile plastered on his face. Noah hated that smile. Justin stopped only momentarily to remark on Noah's tense form. "Why so tense… do you need a massage?" Noah froze as Justin's firm hands gripped onto his tense shoulders. Each motion only caused Noah to sneer; figures Justin would only have one thing on his mind. But what did he expect from the self absorbed, pretty boy. His breathe hitched as Justin's hands wandered lower, his motions firm. His face felt warm as Justin's breath caressed the lobe of his ear as he spoke in a lusty whisper. "So tense… I can fix that for you…" He hated how his body seemed to have a mind of it's own. Noah couldn't help but release a low moan as Justin seemed to hit the right spots on his body. Maybe he should just let go, after all he told Izzy. He was off the hook.

No, he couldn't. Turning abruptly Noah pushed the shirtless god away. His voice firm as he spoke. "You need to break up with Izzy… I can't keep lying to her…"

He caught the obvious surprise in Justin's face. That was the last thing he expected to hear. The silence hung think as Justin analyzed his face. Noah wished he knew exactly what he was thinking. But all his thoughts were abruptly cut short as Justin pushed him firmly down onto his plush bed, a look of firey lust clear in his eyes as he climbed on top of him. "You're so cute when you're jealous…" Noah froze as Justin caressed his face softly, his lips just inches away from his own. "But don't worry… she'll be leaving soon and it'll just be you and me…" Noah shook his head as he lay underneath Justin. He opened his mouth to retaliate but before he could even say a word, Justin's mouth engulfed his. Noah moaned into Justin's mouth as he caressed his heated skin. His firm hands pulling up the hem of his shirt. "And besides you have no say remember…" Noah gasped breathlessly as Justin pulled his shirt off completely, the cool air brushing against his hot skin. Justin attacked his lips passionately as he slid his hand down Noah's body. With a quick flick of the wrist Noah felt his swim trunks loosen as Justin untied the knot. This was moving too fast.

Noah pushed him away, breathlessly he spoke. "No… I can't do this anymore… Not when-" His statement was cut short as a shrill scream was heard from the doorway.

Both Noah and Justin turned abruptly to find a pissed Izzy standing in the door way. "I COME TO SAY GOOD BYE TO MY USED TO BE FAVORITE KNOW IT ALL TO FIND THIS!" Noah froze under Izzy's glare as she took in their positions.

Noah pushed Justin away and scrambled away from Justin. Noah stood up beside the bed his arms motioning to Justin and himself. "Izzy I can explain…" But instead of an answer, he felt sharp pain radiate from his jaw as Izzy contacted with his face. Noah held his face, hurt clear in his eyes as he gazed into Izzy's own hurt angry eyes. "Izzy…"

Izzy growled refusing to look him in the eyes as she held her tears back. "How could you Noah… I thought you'd be the only person who'd ever understand me…" She walked to the door, a look of pure anger in her eyes. "You knew how much I liked him and you… I can't even say it…" With that she slammed the door shut.

Noah turned back to Justin anger clear in his eyes as he spoke. "This is all your fault…"

"O really Noah?" Smirking Justin spoke his tone cold and uncaring. "I'm not the one who selfishly decided that keeping this a secret from your parents was more important than Izzy…" Gazing nonchalantly at his own nails, he conveyed an air of relaxation. The action caused Noah to internally fume; this was all a game to him. "Lets see… who will I tell first…" Noah clenched his teeth firmly. He knew who Justin would tell, the heartless bastard was so predictable. Smirking he placed a finger of thought against his chin. Enunciating ever syllable as he spoke in his usual condescending tone, "I know… I'll tell Cody after all I think he should know…" If Cody knew he would never speak to him again. If Justin announced it to the world his parents would disown him. If his siblings found out, they would torture him until he became 'straight'.

"This wasn't my fault… So you can't tell anyone… It was you're fault she caught us…" Noah spoke firmly not allowing an ounce of his fear to show. He needed to be strong. He could still salvage this. Even if that meant he would never be able to speak to Izzy again. And that thought broke his heart.

To his surprise Justin just smiled, pure joy shining through those ice cold eyes. "I wanted her to catch us…" Justin spoke smoothly as he began his heartless speech. "I heard one of the interns talking about the fact there would be another season after this one…" Noah's eyes widened as he listened to Justin speak. "And after watching you and your little click of psycho freaks I came to realize that you were my biggest threat. Eva's strength, your brains, and Izzy's unpredictable nature would make the greatest team. So I decided what better way to increase my odds than splitting you all up…" He couldn't believe it Justin used him… he used him in more ways than one. He couldn't he had never felt so dirty. Just like a doll thrown in the trash after a girl has grown bored, was the best way to describe how he felt.

No he had to keep it together, his emotions shouldn't cloud his judgment. After all Justin's plan was not pulled together very well, there was one obvious flaw. It didn't add up to anything. Noah clenched his teeth, smirking at Justin's miss calculation. "It's not going to work. Izzy's not as dumb as you think she is. She'll see through your game…"

But to his dismay, Justin just smirked. "O really? Izzy was my girlfriend… While you on the other hand, are the whore of a best friend that slept with me." Noah's eyes widened in shock he had to be lying. Izzy wouldn't choose him, over Noah… would she? After all they shared everything. While Justin cheated on her. "It was your idea to keep it secret… I just gave you the incentive." Noah turned away from Justin, clenching his fists. Their friendship couldn't be over, she was one of the few people he could actually open up to. But, Izzy was unpredictable and to be dealt with this kind of betrayal would surely cause her to snap. "So unless you want Cody to know about us as well… You better keep with your side of the bargain."

He knew it, all along… this was nothing but a game to Justin he should have never trusted him. Why did he trust him? He finally spoke his tone showing his defeat. "What do you want from me…"

To his dismay Justin just chuckled as he gripped Noah's hand. "I want you… It was a game before… but honestly I've never met anyone like you before. " Justin pulled Noah to his chest holding him tightly within his arms. His Ice cold eyes sparkled with an icey glow as he gazed down at Noah. "So will you and I still be secret boyfriends? No Cody…" Noah nodded a look of defeat showing clearly on his face. "Good." Justin kissed down his neck, Noah's skin crawling from the contact. But, Noah smirk was unseen by Justin. He would agree for now, but once he had formulated a good strategy he would defiantly crush Justin into the dirt for what he had done to them. Izzy already knew, and that alone was enough of a victory for now. Justin might be smooth, but Noah was a genius.

**At the Docks:**

Noah ran to the docks his heart thudding in his chest, he left as soon as Justin was asleep. Justin couldn't know he was coming to see Izzy. He had to see Izzy one last time before she left. If only to explain everything to her. She deserved to know the whole truth. Noah inhaled in relief as he saw the pair standing at end of the dock. But his relief was short lived as Eva's glare pierced into his heart as she spoke. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE SLUT!" Noah fell back as Eva pushed him down with one arm, towering over him in fury. Noah couldn't help but fear for his life as Eva spoke. "I HEARD WHAT YOU DID TO IZZY HOW COULD YOU!" Noah gazed over to Izzy his heart breaking at the amount of hatred that lay in both their eyes. He ruined the only good thing to come out of this reality show.

No he wouldn't fall apart now. He had to explain, they had to know the truth. Holding his voice firm he began hoping desperately they would listen. "Izzy I didn't know in the beginning you and Justin were together…" But Izzy just looked away from him, her gaze firmly set on the ocean behind her. Noah gathered himself, a hint of plea in his voice as he spoke. "Izzy don't let Justin ruin our friendship… It's what he wants. Just listen to me."

Noah's body jerked as Eva grasped firmly on his collar, fire burning in her eyes as she spoke. "Why should we listen to you? You betrayed us! And what for a boy!" Eva jerked his body in the air as her voice boomed with in his ears. "I LIKED HIM TOO AND I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HIM! SO WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE!"

Noah sighed, his voice quivering slightly as he tried to suppress his tears. "Eva… I had too…" Eva released him in shock. Noah stepped away hugging himself as he refused to look the pair in the eyes. His hair hiding his face as he spoke, desperately trying to control his emotions, sighing he began, his voice monotone and unfeeling. "He found out I was gay and said he wanted to be with me…" Noah inhaled stiffly trying to stay in control. "Than he told me about Izzy… If I told Izzy…" The silence hung thick as Noah desperately tried to get his words out. It was far more painful saying it out loud. "And If I didn't continue sleeping with him…he threatened to tell my parents." Noah gripped himself tighter as the dead silence continued, not even Eva was making a move. Noah exhaled turning to the frozen pair he spoke firmly. "I just, couldn't let that happen. My family can never find out." Noah turned away gripping his chest as his back faced the pair. "He played us all."

He didn't want to see the look on their faces, disgust, hatred… "It's ok Noah I understand…" Noah turned abruptly to find Izzy's smiling face. Tears stained her eyes as she forced a smile. His heart thumped in relief as Izzy walked over to him. A look of adulation clear in her eyes. "You risked so much to tell me… And I didn't believe you…" Noah froze as Izzy latched on to him tightly in a suffocating hug. "You didn't have to go this alone… It's almost like you like being miserable." Noah chuckled softly as he hugged Izzy back. But her soft voice quickly shifted to anger and hatred. "Justin's going to pay!"

Noah shook his head firmly. "Izzy don't, I don't want him finding out I told you… He'll ruin my life…"

Izzy released a disgruntled sigh, but nodded in agreement. "Fine… He's not worth it…But tell me when I can…" Releasing him she held on to his shoulders a menacing smile plastered on her face. "Time to find a new guy!"

The boat horn sounded as it was time for them to board. Noah chuckled softly as Izzy flipped on to the boat behind her. "Back to the Island! Time for me to land me Owen!" Noah looked over in shock.

Noah chuckled turning to Eva, a smirk playing on his face. "She's going from Justin to Owen? Talk about a down grade…" But Eva didn't answer him.

Instead his smile was returned with an ice cold glare. "Just because Izzy forgave you doesn't mean I have yet…" Noah's gripped his heart as Eva picked up the bags, refusing to look back at Noah. Noah stood by the dock his heart clenching as he watched the only two people who ever understood him leave the Island. One of which would probably never speak to him again.

He stayed staring out to sea until the boat finally faded into nothing. He was going to miss the time they spent together. It would never be the same, Eva hated him, Izzy would never trust him the way she did before. And he could never speak to Cody again. Justin just drove away the only few friends he had ever had.

* * *

_A/N: AWWWWW... Poor Noah, his best friends are leaving him... how's he going to handle being alone with Justin... Lots of LOVE to all you guys who reviewed X3. I hope you like the chapter :3._


	13. All Alone

_**A/N: **Dude all your comments were so awesome it made me want to post the next chap as soon as possible X3. All of you asked so nicely and because I love you all so much (as friends lol) XD. I posted up the new Chappy YAY! I really hope you guys like it X3. O and Trent, because Cody needs a secret sharing friend too... funny how when Noah's leave Cody's come to the Island lol... Any ways SHOUT OUTS!_

_Neko-Naito: Dude that's the best compliment I've ever had seriously X3. You really think I made him eviler than The TDA writers *Squeal* I feel so awesomely special._

_RidingtheRoughWaters: Your comment seriously made me lol XD. Way to put Noah in his place lol XD._

_Tankyu: 1. I so agree with you Owen is such a man whore XD. 2. I'm so glad you love my A/N X3... I sometimes think I rant too much lol... 3. Dude I love long comments, so it's all good :3_

_LaMusouka: I seriously love the Justin/Noah moment's too X3. I personally think they would make a sexy couple lol... too bad for Justin Noah is Cody's man XD._

_And the most important statement of this A/N is you'll find out who walked in on Noah and Justin... YAY! Leave some love you guys X3... Comments are met with love and COOKIES!_

_**Summary:** Noah is having a hard time suppressing his feelings for cody… some one who he actually enjoys spending time with… but because no one truly knows he's ga_y _at home he tries to hide it because his parents would disown him if they ever found out… dealing with Izzy's constant Nagging, Cody's adorable obsession with fixing the friendship and one other camper's advances he is thrown into the midst of confusion... a confusion that logic won't be able to help him with._

**_**Don't read if you don't like Boy love… seriously**_**

_(Do not own Any of the total drama Island/action/world tour characters.)_

_Rated T for teen_

**Chapter 13: All alone**

**Two Weeks later:**

Noah gripped his book tightly as he made his way through the resort. He couldn't stand being alone anymore. He needed some sort of back ground noise, if only to help him forget the predicament he was in. Plus added to the fact he had not eaten since he spoke to Eva and Izzy at the docks. He had to get something in his system, even if it was just a smoothie. He never took himself for some one who could fall into a depression. But here he was unable to eat or sleep, missing the few people in his life that meant anything to him. And that was not adding to the fact that Justin was using him… Justin had… no he wouldn't think about that now. He wasn't worth falling deeper into his depression.

A feeling of dread settled in the pit of his stomach as a voice, that used to bring him joy addressed him. "Hey Noah, long time no talk hehe…" Noah sneered looking away from those beautiful aqua eyes. If Justin saw him talking to Cody, a call home would definitely follow suite. His heart couldn't help but ache at the adorable tone in Cody's voice. It was a mixture of nervousness and excitement. "I was wondering… since I always see you alone… If you had time maybe…" Noah gripped his fists tightly, he couldn't help but internally resent Cody for not speaking to him sooner. If he had he wouldn't be in this mess.

But who was he to blame Cody… It wasn't his fault he was straight. But that beautiful night… No he wouldn't remember it now, it hurt too much. Groaning in frustration Noah spoke calmly. "I can't today Cody… I have some stuff I need to do…"

The tone in Cody's voice broke his heart. "Oh, Ok I guess… I'll see you later…" Noah nodded pushing his way past Cody. He didn't have the heart to look back. This had to stop. He couldn't take hurting Cody anymore. But he had too. Noah motioned to the bartender for his usual drink, before his self inflicted exile, as he sat himself down at the bar. After all why should he sacrifice his life for some one he could never be with? Cody was straight… and to believe otherwise would be stupid.

Noah sat his hands fisted as he gripped his drink tightly his body hunched over the bar. Ignoring the shrill annoying voice of miss over achiever at the other end of the bar, she was the kind of girl who equated stubbornness to intelligence. "What do you mean I don't have a case!" She was nothing but a fool. But even her annoyingly shrill voice was better than the alternative, driving himself crazy in the quiet of his room, remembering everything that evil son of a bitch had done to him. Noah groaned gripping his head tightly, trying to force the memories of the nights before away. Justin had taken his virginity… had used him as he wished. Was it worth all this just to keep his secret? He really wished he wasn't so alone.

"It's wrongful termination!"

Even though he was used to being alone, he couldn't help but miss the only people on the island that understood him. Because of Justin's disgusting deal, he would never be able to speak to Cody again. Izzy was still on the island, and Eva… well she was still a little peeved at the fact Noah technically betrayed their trust. And by a little she had told him that if he came with in five feet of her, she would break his face. In his defense all that anger was not caused just by him it was also due to the fact she was voted off. Right now she just needed her space. At least that is what she had told him. Though Eva had promised eventually she would forgive him, but knowing Eva he didn't know how long that would be. He had never felt so alone in his life.

"But I was not voted off fairly, the ballots were stuffed by that stupid red headed geek… and when I get my hands on him he's dead…"

And Izzy, he secretly miss her constant nagging and ability to make all his problems seem to go away with her crazy happy go lucky nature. Even so he was happy she was gone, at least for the time being, he used their departure as a way to tell her with out worry of her confronting Justin. Mostly because she wouldn't have the ability to see him for a while as she competed on the island.

"What do you mean I need more proof, it's on VIDEO!"

It was the only way he could be honest with Izzy and keep his secret. It bought him the precious time he needed, at least until the show was over. Hopefully her time away would help her forget Justin. But one thing was for sure she now hated Justin more than anything else on the face of the planet, all three of them did. The only thing is both Izzy and Eva had the ability to just remove Justin from their lives easily. He on the other hand had to come up with a strategy. How was he going to get himself out of this one?

"I can easily get you a copy…"

He would never admit it out loud, but he really needed them now more than ever. The empty feeling he felt just seemed to grow each time he interacted with that shmuck of a male model. Each moment he shared with him, it felt like he was loosing a peace of his confidence, his never ending pride. Which was honestly throwing him off of his game… that stupid asshole… "I should be back on I am a CIT!" He had finally reached his breaking point he couldn't take it any more.

Her nagging voice was not making it any easier for him. He had to get rid of her now! And as a red mop of hair peeked out from behind to the nearest bush he smirked. His way out. "Hey is that Harold?"

With that she leapt up immediately hanging up her phone. "Where…" He watched desperately holding back his smirk as her eyes followed his finger. When her eyes finally met with Harold's form she left charging after the screaming Harold. "COME BACK HERE!"

Noah couldn't help the chuckle that passed through his lips as he watched the violence progress. "Excellent." This defiantly was cheering him up. Nothing made him happier than watching other's drama play out in front of him. It reminded him of home…

"Why do you always have to be such an asshole?" Noah turned abruptly to find Trent glaring solidly at him. Figures that he's here for two days and he already feels the need to act all sensitive and judgmental. And for some reason most of his aggression had been directed towards him. He had enough on his plate with out the 'brooding' artist lecturing him. At one point Noah did find him attractive, when he first came to the island he couldn't help but be drawn to his mysterious exterior. That is until he spoke to Cody.

Noah sneered picking up his drink from the bar. Turning to Trent he spoke calmly, his sarcastic humor evident. "I'm sorry did I offend the brooding artist with my sense of humor…" He had enough to worry about.

"I want to talk to you Noah." Clenching his fists Noah began to walk right past Trent barely registering the angry glare he was giving him. He really didn't need this, just when he removed one issue, another had to appear. But to his dismay Trent just continued to follow him. "Noah stop being so smug and listen to what I have to say…"

"Why does everyone always insist on bothering me?" Noah groaned not meeting Trent's eyes. What business could Trent have with him of all people? The only thing they had in common was… Cody. Now he definitely did not want to hear what Trent had to say. Sneering he turned back to Trent his voice cold and uncaring as he spoke. "Shouldn't you be off writing a 'heartfelt' song for Gwen…"

But to his dismay, Trent just stood his ground. His glare showing more anger than it had previously. "I'm not going to leave you alone until you come talk to me…"

Noah waved away Trent's statement. "Just tell me now than go away, I'd like to be left in peace."

The way Trent's eyes darted back and forth made him nervous. What did Trent have to say, and why was he making sure anyone wasn't around. Noah's entire body stiffened as Trent leaned in whispering quietly. "It's about Cody… and you being gay…"

Noah's eyes widened in shock. What was it he was about to say… What could he want to talk about to him? Why about Cody? Why did Trent feel the need to whisper his name to him? Did he know he liked Cody… and how in the world did he find out he was gay! Turning towards him nonchalantly, Noah spoke calmly not showing a hint of his previous shock. "What makes you think I'm gay…"

Trent in retaliation spoke calmly. "I personally don't care if you are gay or not… we need to talk about Justin?" Noah's eyes widened slightly in shock, how did he know? Did Justin tell him? Trent continued calmly, interrupting Noah's train of thought. "I don't understand why you're with him… He's a cool guy but an awful boyfriend… he treats you like shit." Noah watched as Trent motioned to the pool his voice still a whisper. "And he cheats on you all the time… He's flirting with both Sadie and Katie…"

Noah's eyes scanned the pool area, to find Justin lounging by the pool and giddy Sadie and Katie sitting on either side of him. Honestly he didn't care anytime he spent away from that lustful man was heaven sent. Obviously Trent wouldn't understand, because he didn't know. Noah spoke calmly showing every ounce of his confusion. "Why should I care what Justin does…" Noah smirked his eyebrow slightly raised. He spoke his sarcastic humor returning. "There is definitely something wrong with you if you think I'm with Justin."

Trent motioned to himself a sneer clear on his face as he spoke. "Stop I know the truth, I'm just trying to help you… and so is Cody…" Noah's eyes widened slightly at Cody's name. What could he possible want from him? And what ever it was Noah could not find out. According to Justin's deal, barely interacting with him could be grounds for terminating the deal. "Stop avoiding him and come with me…" He wasn't ready for his parents to find out… He didn't think he'd ever be ready. Noah remained silent as he gazed down. He really wanted to talk to Cody, he really did, and this was just torture not being able to speak to him. But if Justin found out… "If this is about Justin, I don't see why you can't talk to other guys while he flirts with girls…" Noah looked up at Trent confusion clear in his eyes. "I mean you don't talk to anyone… this relationship you have with Justin isn't healthy…"

Noah glared his hatred full in his eyes. "You don't know what you're talking about…" Noah looked up to find a sad look plastered on Trent's face. A sickening look of pity, how could he slip up? Noah fisted his hands by his sides as he walked passed the pool, desperately trying to get his anger under control. He felt so tired, all he wanted to do was go back into his room and be left alone. Why couldn't Trent leave him alone? No one knew what he was dealing with, and he wanted to keep it that way. Clearing his throat he spoke calmly. "Look Trent, this little theory of yours about me a Justin was humorous in the beginning." Noah held his temples trying to push away the dizzy feeling he was beginning to feel. Noah pushed it aside as he forced his body to stand firm. "But now it's just getting annoying…"

His entire body froze as a soft voice sounded from behind him. "Noah, you don't have to lie to us… we're just trying to help…" Noah's entire mind was spinning as he gazed over to Cody. How long was Cody standing there? His heart couldn't help but break as he saw the beautifully sad look in Cody's glistening eyes.

Noah felt sick as the last few words left Cody's quivering lips. "I know you're gay Noah… I saw you and Justin…" He knew, he knew, how could he have known? "I told Trent… because… you wouldn't talk to me…" He was so careful… they both were. "I want to hang out with you again…" They always locked the door… the only time was… No it couldn't have been him. "I hate seeing you so miserable… " If it was than that would mean all that time with Justin was for nothing. He had won the bet, he didn't have to sacrifice his friendship with Izzy, he didn't have to sleep with him. He didn't have to give him his virginity. "Noah please tell us what's wrong…"

Noah's head continued to spin as he gripped the nearest palm tree, he felt nauseous. "Are you alright… you look pale…" He could barely make out Trent's voice as his thoughts continued to spin.

Noah leaned his head against the tree as he tried desperately to keep his mind steady as he remembered everything he went through in vain. Izzy's mistrust… Eva's Hatred…Cody's hurt… Justin's power over him… Justin's hands all over him, making him do what ever he wanted…The pain the tastes, the feeling of being worthless… So disgusting… And Cody saw?… He had seen him with Justin… together in his bed… Cody saw… Cody saw…

Noah internally chanted 'cody saw…' as the world around him began to fade. He lost his grip on the palm tree beside him.

"NOAH!" Cody's high pitch yell was all he heard as he felt himself begin to fall. Noah felt a jolt of pain resonate in his skull as he landed onto the pavement.

"WE NEED A MEDIC!" Trent's voice garbled as he felt himself fading.

Noah looked up to find Cody's soft face, a pleading look clear in his eyes, as he kneeled beside him. Noah felt a firm grip on his shirt, as Cody's voice rang in his ears, his voice frantic. His skin stained with blood… blood…"Noah come on stay with me Noah!" Those beautiful glistening eyes of Cody's were the only thing he saw as he slowly faded into darkness. "Please Noah…" They were so sad, tears… why was Cody crying… "Please stay with me…" Noah felt the grip on his shirt tighten as Cody buried his face into his chest… "I don't know what I'd do with out-" The darkness engulfed him as everything went black.

* * *

_**A/N:** The End... Na JK JK wouldn't it be horrible if I ended it that way XD. Any way you guys are right again lol... you know me so well lol... But I did try to throw you guys off with the whole Trent thing XD... but any way Noah should have ate something... and maybe he wouldn't have passed out... and if he learned how to trust and be open with people this wouldn't have happened either. R&R you guys :3... as I said before you guys inspire me to keep writing X3._


	14. Visions

_**A/N: **__A couple of things lol... First TDWT... I thought I'd get bored after one of my favorite characters got booted off... But when Owen brought him up I was like AWWW... Owen really cares about Noah that's so cute X3... He care cares about Noah *Squee* lol XD. And also YAY! for Cody Knocking out Duncan... Seria was right... It was AWESOME X3... Esspecially since everyone kept calling him a girl... (Even though I internally giggled everytime they did lol). He sure did prove them wrong lol._

___And an AN about the Chapter... It's a dream sequence Inspired by "Where the Wild Things" are movie... It's a pretty deep movie for a kids movie lol...The whole movie is about the kid going into himself to solve his own emotional problems. Basically the monsters represents different parts of his inner psychology. And the turmoil that rages in their land, is actually him trying to solve his own inner conflicts. If you haven't seen it... See it... I think It's an awesome movie lol. But anyways... In this chap Noah does the same thing... but no monsters... because of his emotional, physical, and mental turmoil... Noah retreats into himself in hopes of avoiding it altogether... I won't give away too much... Read the chap if you want to find out :3..._

___O and I can't believe I made so many people cry with my story... I don't know weather to be happy because it's suppose to be sad... or be sad because I made people sad... I'm glad that even though I made you guys sad you guys keep coming back lots of love... One thing I promise is that like all things in life... Bad things happen to make way for better things... _

**___Shout Outs!_**

___Gray Amethyst: I seriously Lol-d when I read that... I'm so Happy you love my story enough to squeal in public X3. You are so lucky you get to go to Korea... I've always wanted to go..._

___TD-FanGirl: I got your PM and you don't know how happy that made me X3. *hugs* You're telling people about my story X3... I'm glad you liked it so much X3. *Hands tissue with love, and hugs to comfort*_

___No one important: That fills me with awesome fluffy joy knowing that you love it enough to re-read it. X3_

___WordWarrior192: How did you know I was the demon lord O.o j/k._

___Tankyu:____ Side note I love Kickass so using a the same bazuka on him would make me very very happy XD____. (Even though I secretly love writing the interactions between Justin and Noah... lol)_

_Everyone: You're reviews make me feel all fluffy inside... knowing I wasn't waisting my time writing this... Your comments just make me want to push out chapters faster. Because I love reading what you guys think. It was suppose to be a week by week update... But because of you guys I'm going to try to push 2 chaps every week... maybe three if I have time... Lots of love to you guys._

_(Side note... This sure was one long A/n lol... I rant too much XD.)_

**_Summary:_**_ Noah is having a hard time suppressing his feelings for cody… some one who he actually enjoys spending time with… but because no one truly knows he's gay at home he tries to hide it because his parents would disown him if they ever found out… dealing with Izzy's constant Nagging, Cody's adorable obsession with fixing the friendship and one other camper's advances he is thrown into the midst of confusion... a confusion that logic won't be able to help him with._

**_**Don't read if you don't like Boy love… seriously**_**

_(Do not own Any of the total drama Island/action/world tour characters.)_

_Rated T for teen_

**Chapter 14: Visions**

_Noah sat in the smooth sand as he gazed out at the beach, his favorite book firmly held in his grasp. The salty air blew through his hair a soft whisper could be heard within the blow of the wind. "Noah… " Noah ignored the call. Why should he answer the call, and be removed from this beautiful solitude. Just the blackened night sky and his favorite book, all alone. He wanted to stay here forever, here where he could finally be alone, and have some peace. Just when the night couldn't be more perfect, the moon slowly began to rise. It's enchanting glow reminding him that only in solitude could he ever be happy. The water of the ocean mirrored the glow of the moon beautifully as three figures stood silhouetted by the light. Noah peered in confusion as placed his book down beside him and walked slowly towards the beach. Who were these people? As he finally reached the beach there stood three people, Justin, his brother George and Izzy._

_ Justin stepped up to him first a smile stretching across his face. He spoke calmly as he motioned to the ocean behind him. "Isn't it beautiful…" Noah gazed behind him at the stars, each star flickering on as he focused his gaze. The lit stars stopped and spelt out the word 'Trust'. Noah turned to Justin in confusion as Justin motioned to himself. "You may not trust in me… but you need to trust in the fact everything will turn out alright…"_

_Noah turned away as he refused to look back at Justin's ice eyes. "Of course I don't trust you… And nothing has ever turned out right for me…"Noah glared as he walked back to the location of his book. _

_Justin followed speaking with a kindness that Noah has never before heard in his voice. "Noah follow me into the light… You have to trust that everything will turn out alright…" Noah just sat himself down, pulling his book open, covering his view of Justin. Justin spoke softly Motioning to the ocean. "Look and you will see that everything happens for a reason." Noah's curiosity peaked as he gazed to the swirling ocean in front of him. _

_The image showed Owen and Izzy. Owen glowed with a bright pink light as Izzy's glow was a soft pink. Owen spoke motioning to Izzy. "I've never met a girl as cool as you in my LIFE!"_

_Izzy smiled, a loving true smile. A smile that he had never seen grace her lips as she spoke. "You're really cool too Big O." _

_The image faded as the swirling of the ocean halted. Noah turned glaring at Justin in confusion. "What does that have to do with me…" _

_Justin spoke softly motioning to the stars as the spelled out the word trust. "You see if you had not been with me, and broken us up. She would have never found some one who would truly care about her…" _

_Noah sneered waving Justin away. Picking up his book he spoke firmly. "Thank you for reminding me… I already know I betrayed Izzy… And just because she found a new guy doesn't mean I shouldn't remain exiled." Noah gazed down at his book, his body huddled. "I'm better off alone… I like it here… I will never need to trust in anything when there is no one here…" Justin didn't say anything. Instead Noah jerked away as Justin disappeared in a flash of light._

_The voice echoed in the wind. "Noah… Come…" The rest of the words remained garbled as he refused to hear what it had to say. Why would he leave his own personal paradise?_

_ Izzy walked up to him, a soft smile playing on her lips as she motioned to the stars. "The stars will show you the way…" Noah turned to the stars as they flickered, 'Honesty'. Noah turned back to Izzy as she smiled down at him. "You weren't honest with me… But you need to be honest with yourself and realized what would truly make you happy…"_

_Noah turned away refusing to look her in the eyes. "I am happy here, all alone in my perfect solitude…"Izzy did not say much, but Yanked him by the arm, pulling him to stand. "Izzy leave me alone…" _

_Izzy dragged him to the edge of the beach and motioned to the Ocean. "Noah stop lying to yourself…" Noah gazed into the ripples of the ocean. He jumped back abruptly as a blue tinted version of himself gazed back at him. He hesitantly gazed back into the ripple. The figure was shivering desperately trying to regain its warmth, as tears fell from its eyes. Izzy spoke softly motioning to the figure with in the water. "Look at your true self…" _

_Noah shook his head firmly, his cold glare evident. "How many times do I have to tell you I'm happy!" _

_To his frustration, Izzy just scoffed. "You are truly stubborn… The only way to show you… Is through outside eyes…" Izzy motioned to the ocean as it swirled, a vision coming into view with in the swirls. Noah froze in place as he realized what he was looking at. It was the first time he had a Conversation with the object of his desires._

_Cody sat leaning against the mess hall table, a look of excitement on his face. Noah remembered this they were talking about the new strategy game that was set to come out at the end of the year. "I really can't wait for the new Warz of Kaos… It's going to be awesome!" Noah's eyes widened slightly as he gazed at Cody, he had never seen the boy so excited in his life._

_But he was more surprised as he gazed upon himself, a real smile on his own lips. He didn't even think he could smile. "Yeah Cody, it's going to be amazing…" Noah had never seen himself smile like that before. It looked strange upon his face. _

_The entire Image flashed as a beautiful starry night came into view. The beach was empty except for the two lone figures that sat upon the sand. It brought him to the night he had with Cody. Noah shook his head refusing to look. "No I don't want to see this… It hurts too much too…" But it just continued. _

_Noah turned back to the vision slowly as he heard his and Cody's voices. Noah held his breath as it all unfolded in front of him. Noah lay back, his hand on Cody's face, as Cody cling to him, a look of bliss imprinted on both of their faces. The moment was so intimate that even though it was a vision of his own, he felt rude gazing upon it. But he couldn't look away, his heart beat faster with in his chest as watched the pair's lips inch closer and closer. Noah swallowed a lump in his throat as he had not realized how close they were to meeting that night. Their lips mere centimeters apart._

_The vision swirled away as Noah desperately wished it to return. But Izzy did not comply. Instead she spoke softly, placing a hand on Noah's shoulder. "Noah… Don't cry… If you are honest with yourself, you could be happy again." Noah touched his cheeks in shock to find wet tears. He had never cried. That just reminded him that with the happy came the sad. After that moment, Cody had found him in the arms of Justin. His mind flashed as he remembered the hurt look on Cody's face when he told Noah. The small frown on his usual gaping smile, the eyes that gazed upon him in true anguish. Noah destroyed any friendship he had with the boy of his desires._

_The echoing voice called to him again. More words audible. "Noah… Come…Back…"_

_He didn't deserve that kind of happiness.. Noah turned away from Izzy as he walked back to his book. Picking up the book he sat himself hunched in the sand. "True happiness… also means true anguish." Noah picked up his book gazing away from Izzy. "I'd rather stay here… at least in Solitude I know what to expect…" Izzy folded her arms in disappointment as she flashed away in a blast of light._

_ Noah looked up in shock as George walked forward, his bulky form towering over him. Noah's body jerked suddenly as George Pulled him up by the Collar of his shirt forcing him to stand. Noah sneered up at George, shocked to find, George smiled down lovingly at him. His eyes twinkling with an unspoken feeling of endearment, George motioned to the stars, his voice deep, yet soft. "Look squirt… look at the stars…" Noah gazed up expecting the same, but instead the sky was a pitch black. Noah turned to George in confusion as George frowned. "It is meant to say Courage…" Noah stepped forward as George motioned him over. Noah watched in silence as George gazed up at the stars. "You have the courage to stand up to me… but Not the courage to try… to go for the one person that will make you happy." _

_Noah opened his mouth to deny but George shook his head. "I've always known you were gay…" Noah looked in complete shock as George smiled down at him. "You didn't think you were the only genius did you…" George chuckled as his eyes glistened with memories._

_Noah sneered looking away his hands fisted at his sides. "If you had known than why did you always pick on me… didn't you think my life would be hard enough with out you teasing me …" _

_George shook his head, a hint of sadness in his eyes. "That is why I picked on you…" Noah looked up in shocked confusion. It didn't make any sense. George laughed motioning to the ocean as it twirled. "You needed to be strong enough to handle the ridicule and hatred that would follow you solely based on your sexuality…" Noah stepped back as George smirked at him. "Funny how we only ever remember the bad things in our life..." Noah followed George's motions as he motioned to the swirling ocean. Noah gazed into the ocean, a look of shock plastered on his face as it all played out in front of him. He forgotten this…_

_A small Noah, age seven, sat on his bed crying his face bruised. The door clicked shut as George walked. "What's wrong with you squirt…" _

_Noah turned away tears falling down his face as his voice wavered from the tears he shed. "Go away… you're just going to make fun of me…" _

_To his dismay George just shrugged sitting himself down in the bed beside him. "I probably will, but I always make fun of you so what will it hurt…" George pulled him in a head lock as Noah struggled to get away. "Plus I'll make fun of you for crying if you don't…"_

_Noah paused for a moment. Nodding his head in defeat he agreed. "Fine…" Noah watched as George moved away and motioned him to begin. Sighing softly Noah began. "Dad hit me because I said that Christopher in my class was handsome…" George chuckled as Noah's bright eyes looked up at him insulted. "It's not my fault he's handsome…" Noah looked down at his hands as tears began to fall. "Dad says if I become a homosexual he'll disown me… 'Because they are disgusting people.'" Noah turned away a look of shame in his eyes as he spoke. "I looked it up on the internet and it says it's some one who is attracted to the same gender… And Christopher is the only person in my class I like like… I think I might be a homosexual." Noah looked up to find George was surprisingly not laughing. Instead he had a sneer on his face. Noah looked away his heart breaking as he spoke. "You probably hate me now… please please Don't tell dad…" _

_Instead George just fisted his hands on his knees his deep voice showing the up most authority. "Who cares what dad says…So what you are homosexual… You just need to do what makes you happy… Look at me I'm the family screw up, and you know why? I can't stand up to dad… I know I need to because I know that no matter what happens I'll be the one forced to live my life… Not Dad… It's his fault I'm a failure…"_

_Noah's wide eyes gazed up at George in shock. "How could you say that Dad's always right… And it's not his fault you are failing your classes…" _

_George glared briefly at the statement causing Noah to cower behind his pillow. But to his surprise George just looked away from him gazing out the window in front of him. "I just don't want you too make the same mistakes I've made… I've always wanted to be an artist…" The tone in his voice abruptly turned to anger as he held one of his huge fists in view. "I will give you a bigger bruise than the one dad gave you if you tell anyone…"_

_Noah quivered behind his pillow as he looked up in shock. "I didn't know you drew?"_

_George just chuckled; Noah knew the question caught him off guard as his anger subsided. "Yeah I do squirt… but instead of going to the art school I wanted…" George winked at Noah a smirk clear on his face. "Full scholarship…" The smirk disappeared and was replaced by a sneer. "I went to school for accounting to follow in dad's foot steps… too afraid of what he'll do if I told him… And where has it gotten me? In a college I hate taking classes I hate more… I've never been so more miserable… In the same way I can't change being an artist… you can't stop being a 'homosexual'… You're miserable too aren't you…" Noah nodded softly refusing to meet George's eyes. "Keep in mind, the things in life worth having, are the very things we need to fight for…And you'll probably need to do a lot of fighting in the future…" Noah giggled as George winked at him. "Not everyone is as open minded as me…" George spoke looking down at his nails. "But just to be safe lets not tell dad… At least not until we move out…" _

_Noah looked in confusion at the end of George's statement. "We?"_

_George just laughed gripping Noah into a head lock. "Of course… I promise as soon as you're out of high school, we'll move out together… after all we family freaks have to stick together…" Noah wriggled out of George's headlock smiling up at him, his eyes glistening. "But don't expect me to be nice…"_

_ But the beautiful moment was short lived as a sharp pain radiated from Noah's arm as George punched him hard. "OW… What was that for…" _

_George just laughed. "For being an annoying know-it-all book worm… Looking up homosexuality… seriously?" Noah flinched as George raised his arm to punch him again. But the punch never came. "You are such a wuss…" And with that George left the room, with a confused Noah, left behind._

_The swirls faded as he stood beside George, the stars slowly flickering on. "Since that moment you've become the smug asshole you are today… Putting on the face of not fearing anyone…" The word courage clearly spelt out in front of him. "But instead you just proved yourself too weak to actually care about anything…" Noah looked up at George's stern face as he spoke. "You can't be afraid to try Noah… You need to believe that no matter how great the failure… You have the confidence, intelligence, and strength to over come it… Other wise you're going to become a useless failure constantly question what would have happened if you tried…" With that George disappeared in a flash of light. Noah couldn't help the tears that fell from his eyes, as the sun began to rise. He hated George all these years… when George was the only one to really care about him… To understand that he needed to be pushed around in order to gain his inner strength. _

_Noah heard the soft cries echo in the wind. "Noah… come… back… to… me" He was ready. He didn't want to hide forever anymore. He wasn't going to be weak. He wasn't going to be miserable forever. It was time for him to face his problems. He walked towards the glow of the moon light. The moon began to glow brighter and brighter until it slowly transformed into the light of the sun. _

_Noah gazed as in the sun rise a lithe figure sat hunched crying in the sand. Noah walked over to find Cody kneeling, his face buried in his hands. His small voice sad as he spoke. "Noah come back to me… please come back to me… I miss you… I need you in my life… Please open your eyes…" _

_Noah held Cody softly from behind, as he whispered. "It's ok Cody… I'm here… And no matter what I'll never leave you again…"The light grew around them as it shimmered a beautiful white. _

* * *

_A/N:Hoped you guys liked it X3... I think it adds a lil more depth to the story... But it's up to you the awesome readers of the story to decide if this chapter was worth it... Please R&R :3._


	15. Awaken

_**A/N: **Reached 99 one more and I'll be at 100 WOOT! Celebration time *Squeal*... Honestly had no idea my story would be so popular when I started it... But I'm so happy it is XD. I'm SO happy You guys are all so loyal to my story X3. *Hugs*. And as a thank you I'm posting this chap up early... Yay for no school today lol. It gave me the time to work on the chappy and push it out early YAY! It's the moment you guys have all been waiting for... not going to say more than that... You have to read and find out what happens... Again I love you guys X3..._

_inviso-gurl: I'm so glad I changed your mind about the story... It's great you stuck around and gave it a chance._

_wordwarrior192: Makes perfect sense... I hate chick flick lol XD. While NoCo is AWESOME XD._

_Everybody: Thanks for all the love X3. I'm so happy you guys loved the dream sequence :3...*hands people tissues* And all your question will be answered and more in the next No Logic For The Heart!_

**_Summary:_**_ Noah is having a hard time suppressing his feelings for cody… some one who he actually enjoys spending time with… but because no one truly knows he's gay at home he tries to hide it because his parents would disown him if they ever found out… dealing with Izzy's constant Nagging, Cody's adorable obsession with fixing the friendship and one other camper's advances he is thrown into the midst of confusion... a confusion that logic won't be able to help him with._

**_**Don't read if you don't like Boy love… seriously**_**

_(Do not own Any of the total drama Island/action/world tour characters.)_

_Rated T for teen_

**Chapter 15: Awaken**

Noah opened his eyes slightly to meet the blinding light of the room. He shut his eyes quickly as he desperately tried to keep his head from throbbing. Noah tried to move his arm to shield his eyes. But to his surprise a weight lay upon it, as something gripped his hand tightly beneath it. All that could be heard was soft steady breathing of a sleeping Cody and the beeping of the heart monitor. Noah opened suddenly as he gazed down at Cody's form. Cody was the one holding his hand? This had to be another dream. He gazed around the room to find he was lying in the bed of a hospital room. His skull pounded as he sat himself up gently touching the bandages on his head. What exactly happened… the last thing he remembered was… Cody finding out. Cody found out… and he didn't reject him. Instead he sat beside him, refusing to move. Cody was a better person than he ever gave him credit for.

Noah saddened, looked down at Cody's sleeping form. His usual smooth hair lay messily against his folded arms. His plush lips, his usual smile, turned down into a frown. Cody looked a mess, but Noah couldn't help but think he looked beautiful, his face looked like that of a porcelain doll. But what got him the most were the small trails of tears that fell down Cody's soft face. It tore at his heart seeing Cody, cry in his sleep. He never wanted to hurt him. Noah whispered softly, his voice raspy. "O Cody…" Noah reached out and gently rubbed the tears from Cody's sleeping eyes. "I'm so sorry… I never meant to hurt you…"

But as soon as he did it he regretted it as Cody's crystal blue eyes flickered open. "Noah…" Noah pulled his hand away, frozen in place as Cody sat himself up. When Cody's beautiful aqua eyes met his own, he momentarily forgot how to breathe as recognition finally dawned in Cody's sleepy eyes. "NOAH!" Cody leaped into him, straddling Noah burying his face into Noah's chest his arm tightly around Noah's Neck. Noah held back a cry of pain as the impact knocked his head against the pillows beneath him. Cody's body shook as wet tears stained Noah's Hospital gown. "I'm so happy you're awake… They said you might never wake up… I thought you left me forever..." Noah wrapped his arms around Cody's shaking body as he tried to sooth Cody's tears away. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…"

Noah spoke softly hugging Cody tightly to his chest. "Cody… everything is alright now… I'm fine…" But Cody's cries continued, Noah heart broke with ever sniffle that came from the kind caring boy with in his arms. Noah leaned his chin down top of Cody's soft hair as he whispered. "I'll never leave you again… I promise…" Noah took Cody's chin in his hands and gently tilted it up to look him in the eyes. His voice was kind as he looked into those innocent, glistening eyes. "Don't worry about me Cody…I'm fine…" Noah smiled softly, brushing the stray strands out of Cody's eyes. "I'm the one who should be sorry, Cody… I should have trusted you with my secret instead of trying to hide it all this time."

Cody looked at him with wide eyed confusion. "Secret? What secret?"

Noah took in a deep breathe, he needed to listen to his dream. He needed to be courageous, honest, and trust in Cody. Plus he would never have a moment like this again. He almost died. He almost lost Cody forever. He almost lost the chance to gaze into those twinkling cerulean eyes. Noah inhaled deeply, placing both his hands on Cody's shoulders, he took in the nervous look in Cody's face. Cody had nothing to worry about… he on the other hand… Well it was now or never. Noah began firmly his voice not showing an ounce of emotion. "You see… The reason you found me and Justin together." Noah noticed the small wince in Cody's eyes at the mention of Justin. Though it confused him, he decided to continue. "I was using Justin to-"

Cody looked at him shock clear in his eyes as he interrupted Noah. "If you were using Justin than why were you so miserable… and that doesn't explain why you haven't eaten in weeks… or why Justin could talk to anyone he wanted while you exiled yourself…" It was Noah's turn to wince as he was hoping Cody wouldn't ask him those questions. He just really wanted to move on from it and never think of it again. Especially now since his deal with Justin was over.

Noah shook his head softly looking away from Cody's glimmering eyes. His voice was cold and uncaring as he looked away. "I just want to leave all that in the past… It's over and I don't want to talk about it…"

"Why won't you open up to me?" Noah looked over in shock at the suddenly firm tone in Cody's voice. When he met his eyes, he could see the glimmering of unshed tears with in Cody's glare his voice pleading. "I mean, I thought we were friends… And you always keep things from me… Please Noah… I almost lost you because of it… Please Just tell me…"

He should tell Cody… It was only right he knew… Noah turned away as he fisted his hands in his blankets as he gathered to courage to tell him. "Cody…" The images flashed in his mind as he began to speak. Loosing his friends, Justin's hands all over him… The feeling of being worthless… The pain and tastes… Seeing the boy he loved in pain because he was too afraid to talk to him… Lying there and taking it in hopes of appeasing Justin… The empty feeling of loosing his virginity to some one who didn't care... His teeth clenched as he spoke. "Look Cody I just can't… Can't we please talk about something else…"

But to his dismay Cody's voice quivered slightly as Cody looked away from Noah his gaze falling on Noah's IV. "Noah… Its alright if you don't trust me…" Cody released his nervous laugh as he spoke. "I understand, I should just go…" Cody motioned to climb off of Noah's lap as he refused to look Noah in the eyes. Noah wanted to tell him, he did, he cared. He didn't want loose him.

Noah latched onto Cody's arm before Cody could climb off of him. "Wait!" Cody's eyes gazed at him in shock as Noah's voice showed his desperation. Noah looked down at his fisted hands. He spoke softly as he refused to look Cody in the eyes. "Cody… I trust you…" Noah took a deep breathe, he couldn't do it. "I want to tell you I do I just…" Noah eyes widened slightly as Cody placed his hands on Noah's gripping them firmly. Noah looked into Cody's eyes to find a look of adulation clear in his eyes. And with that his dream flickered, honesty. Cody's honest eyes cared, he wanted to help. Ever loving sweet Cody just wanted to help make the pain go away.

Noah sighed his voice shaking slightly as he gazed back at their hands. Hoping that maybe it would give him the strength to continue. "You won't look at me the same again after I tell you…" Noah felt the grip on his hands tightened as Cody prepared himself for what he was about to hear. This was defiantly going to be difficult. Noah began his tone cold as he spoke. "The reason me and Justin were together was because he found out… I was gay…" Noah gripped Cody's hands, teeth clenched tightly as he willing himself to continue. Speaking about it out loud just made the ordeal, all the more real. "I wanted to know desperately how it would feel to be in a relationship with some one who cared about me…"

Noah heard a mock gasp from Cody, as he openly admitted to needing affection like any other person. "Noah you have feelings… hehe…" He knew that was just Cody's adorable way of breaking the tension, a joke coupled with his usual nervous laugh.

Noah laughed dryly, playfully rolling his eyes. "Yes even me… the cold sadistic jerk… sometimes longs for affection." Cody giggled at Noah's statement, causing the anxiety to lift slightly. But even so as Cody gazed at him his eyes asking him to go on with his story, he couldn't help but feel his anxiety return. Noah clenched his teeth as he desperately tried to force his emotions away. He had to continue. "But I confused lust with love… That was until you and I spoke that night… did I realize my mistake…"

Cody looked at him in confusion. "Me? How?"

Noah Nodded softly as he refused to meet Cody's eyes. "It was the purity of your heart that reminded me…" Noah heard Cody sniffle softly. Noah looked up to meet his eyes. Cody's eyes glistened at the compliment. A lovely smile spread across his adorable face. All the fear and apprehension gone in that brief moment, it was enough. He didn't want to say or do anything that would drive that beautiful smile away. Noah clenched his teeth and looked away. Cody's beautiful glistening eyes, a reminder of everything he risked to keep his secret. "Cody I would rather not continue my story…" Noah smiled up at Cody as he motioned to the beeping monitor beside him, his voice nonchalant as he spoke. "That sound reminds me that Warz is coming out in fall… And the new interface allows you to monitor all your units' health at once…"

To his dismay Cody's adorable glare was what he was met with. "Come on Noah don't change the subject…"

Noah sneered looking away from Cody as he pulled his hands away from Cody's. It crushed his heart as he desperately tried to ignore the hurt that gazed back at him through Cody's amazing eyes. Folding his arms in front of him he sighed his dark eyes meeting Cody's innocent gaze. "Cody… You are not going to like what I'm about to tell you…" His voice successfully hid his inner turmoil, as his eyes conveyed the seriousness of his statement. "And no matter what… you must promise me you will not tell anyone else… Not even Justin…" Cody, ever loving sweet Cody would defiantly say something to the male God. Thus getting himself involved, and Noah did not want to think about how Justin's cruel manipulation would effect trusting Cody… "And No matter what you must promise me you will not get involved…" Cody the trusting boy who sat beside his bed side… the sweet boy that sacrificed his happiness for Trent's… The loving angel that gazed at him now, asking him to open up… solely so he could help ease his pain. Justin would destroy his inner beauty with in a week, if given cause. "I can handle my own business… I don't want you getting in the middle of it…"

Cody's bright eyes gazed at him in confusion. "Noah why would you want me to promise something as weird as that…" Cody smiled brightly as he placed a finger on Noah's chest, then returned it to his own chest. "Noah we're best friends… what ever your dealing with… I've got your back… You can't expect me to just let what ever is going on go…" Noah gazed into his eyes that glistened with anguish. "You almost died because of this…"

Noah grasped Cody's shoulders tightly hoping to convey the importance of this promise. "Look Cody… This is not something I want you to get involved in ok…" Justin would destroy that innocent beauty. Justin would use his naivety against him. And no matter what he would never allow that to happen. Noah shook his head firmly, releasing Cody from his grasp. Sighing under his breathe he spoke disinherited frustration filling his voice. "I knew this was a bad Idea… Cody I'm going to get some rest—"

Noah's attention jerked back to Cody as Cody's gripped his hospital gown tightly. "NO! I promise." Cody's voice quivered slightly as he spoke. "Just tell me what happened to you…" Noah gazed into his eyes, a firm glare planted on his face. A look that stated firmly, you had better not break this promise. And to his relief Cody received the message, as he nodded firmly his focus on Noah's eyes. "I promise Noah I won't get involved."

Noah sighed as Cody released his gown, his undivided attention on Noah. He had to continue. Taking a deep breathe he began where he left off. "I wanted to break it off… Justin wouldn't let me…" Noah's voice wavered slightly, but he regained control as his tone remained cold. "He threatened to tell my homophobic family about our relationship… If they ever found out I'd be out in the streets…" Noah heard Cody gasp as he felt Cody's arms wrap around his form. "I had to continue… but…" Noah held Cody with in his arms, as Cody buried his head in the crook of Noah's shoulder. "I didn't want to… but… he said he should finally have what is rightfully his… The day after Izzy and Eva left... He held me down… And took…" Noah's voice quivered slightly as he finished his statement. "My virginity…" Noah clenched his teeth, desperately trying to hold back his resentment. "After that night I was nothing but a plaything to him…"

Cody looked at him in shock pulling away as Noah refused to look him in the eyes. "Justin Raped you!"

Noah shushed him sneering. "I was not raped…" Noah's voice spoke in his usual monotone fashion. "It was part of our agreement…"

Cody spoke his anger clear in his voice as he guided Noah's face to meet his own. The anger in Cody's usual soft eyes burned like a fire. "Noah that doesn't make it ok! We have to do something! You can't let this go!"

Noah Jerked his face away from Cody's grip as he glared steadily at Cody's teary blue eyes. "You promised me you'd leave it alone!" Noah turned away from Cody's shocked face. He didn't mean to yell at Cody. His anger wasn't directed at him, it was directed at himself for allowing it to happen. Noah pinched the bridge of his nose, speaking calmly, trying to desperately to calm his nerves. "Cody… I had to keep my secret from them…" Noah's voice wavered slightly as he desperately tried to speak honestly to Cody. "And from you…"

Cody turned to Noah his eyes brimming with tears as he sniffled softly. His voice was soft as he looked up at Noah in confusion. "Me… Why did you have to hide your secret from me?"

Noah spoke softly as he grasped Cody's hands with in his own. "Because I didn't want to ruin our friend ship…" Noah Lifted their hands in between them as he turned his palm entwining their fingers. "I really care about you Cody…" Noah's eyes met Cody's confused wide eyed gaze as he smiled nervously, a blush tinting his face as he spoke. "As more than a friend…" The silence that followed was thick as Noah internally regretted the statement.

Noah pulled his hands away quickly refusing to meet Cody's eyes. Why did he have to tell him, now he would never be able to talk to him again… Cody would be the one avoiding him now…

Cody gaped at him not saying anything as he gripped his heart. Noah Gazed nervously through the corner of his eyes as Cody seemed to fidget slightly. He enunciated every syllable as he spoke. "So you went through all that torture… for me…" Noah nodded softly as he gazed down at his fisted hands. Cody was defiantly never going to speak to him again. Cody's voice spoke firmly showing every ounce of his resentment. "That's really stupid Noah…" Noah held his breathe desperately wishing the pain in his chest would subside. His heart felt like it was trapped in a vice. He knew it Cody would defiantly never want to see him again. Noah opened his mouth to reply in agreement… that is until Cody finished his statement. His voice was soft and timid. "You should have just told me…" Noah looked up in shock his heart fluttering in his chest.

Cody pulled him in abruptly, his soft lips meeting his own in an explosive kiss. Noah froze at the contact, he couldn't believe this was happening. It was amazing... He sealed his eyes as his arms tightly wrapped around Cody's slim waist. Cody briefly pulled away, his lips caressing Noah's as he spoke breathlessly. "I really care about you too Noah…" With that Noah claimed his lips again in a searing kiss as he pulled Cody tightly against him. Noah pulled Cody's torso firmly against his own, his neck arching slightly to meet Cody's lips. Cody couldn't seem to be close enough to him.

Noah groaned internally as Cody pulled away. "Don't do anything like that again…" But as his eyes met Cody's innocent eyes gazing lovingly down at Noah, all previous disappointment vanished. The blush on Cody's face caused Noah's heart to beat faster. Cody spoke softly, his hands playing with the hair at the base of Noah's neck, his eyes twinkling with pure true affection. "I never want to loose you again." It was by far the happiest he had ever been in his life.

"I promise I'll never leave you again." Noah recaptured his lips in a loving kiss as a single thought passed through his mind. Everything he had gone through… was worth it.

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**A/N:** _Awww see people Honesty is the best policy... It gets you exactly what and who you need lol... I hope the wait was worth it :3. R&R my peeps X3._


	16. Mutual Respect

**_A/N:_**_ First things first I'm SOOOOO sorry it took so long to update... Lets just say life is Crazy... but any ways... I didn't like the ending to TDWT I seriously was hopping for Cody to win. I mean booting him out in the first five mins of the last episode NOT COOL. But what ever personally I'm glad Ezekiel stole the money! Go Zeke! And I seriously Lol-ed when Noah shrugged his shoulders while everyone was like "What?" lol. Any ways... This chap is going to be an interaction between Cody's Best Friend Trent and His secret Boyfriend Noah YAY! *ehem* Anyways hope you guys like it :3. Congratulations to Avii Fllyn-Flecther for being number 100 X3. *Metal suitcase filled with Candy*... I thought it was hilarious seeing all you guys claim 100 X3... You all get candy XD... Hands out little bags of candy to everyone*_

_**Shout Outs!**_

_La Musouka:__ I didn't realize I made it so 'fluffy' until a reread it after your comment and you are right... I need to tone down the fluff lol. _

_InvisibleInkPen: Thank you so much! *squeal* X3 The story's not over yet... Sorry I made you think other wise lol... Just a long break..._

_TheWhitestBlackPersonYouKnow: Wow Thanks X3 *hugs* That is the sweetest compliment EVER... I'll keep in in my back yard XD. Visions was honestly the most fun to write X3._

_WordWarrior192:__ I seriously lol-d X3. I'll rejoice with you XD *rejoices*_

_IckyBicky:__ You'll find out soon X3... I promise XD._

_Everyone:__ Thanks for the positive Comments X3. You guys a are so amazing... You are all the reason I keep coming back... Even with my crazy life :3._

**_Summary:_**_ Noah is having a hard time suppressing his feelings for cody… some one who he actually enjoys spending time with… but because no one truly knows he's gay at home he tries to hide it because his parents would disown him if they ever found out… dealing with Izzy's constant Nagging, Cody's adorable obsession with fixing the friendship and one other camper's advances he is thrown into the midst of confusion... a confusion that logic won't be able to help him with._

**_**Don't read if you don't like Boy love… seriously**_**

_(Do not own Any of the total drama Island/action/world tour characters.)_

_Rated T for teen_

**Chapter 16: Mutual Respect**

Noah stayed awake in his hospital bed as Cody lay asleep upon him. Cody's soft hair pressed against his shoulder as Cody used him as a pillow. Smiling softly, Noah pushed a few strands away from Cody's sleeping face. They had only been up an hour talking as Cody's eyes began to droop. He must have had no sleep while Noah was in the hospital. Even though the sun was shining he, himself refused to sleep. He didn't want to miss a minute of this. Noah's thoughts stopped abruptly as Cody mumbled softly in his sleep. "Noah you can have the last donut, I have a lot of candy in my spaceship…" Noah couldn't help but chuckled softly. Running his fingers through Cody's smooth chestnut hair, Noah mused to himself. He really wished he knew what Cody was dreaming about.

It couldn't be better than the moment that he had right now. The small form of his love snuggling against him, as small dream inspired whispers rang in his ears. Noah couldn't help the smile from appearing on his face. He couldn't believe after all that dreaming; he finally had Cody in his arms. And now that he had, he couldn't help but think it was worth it. He never felt happier in his life. This was even better than when he first made it into the Dragon Assassins level. Even though that was his greatest achievement, he couldn't help but think this was better, by far better.

Noah froze as he heard the clicking of the door. He looked over to find Trent shocked face gazing at him. "Noah…You're awake?" Noah's face remained stone as he watched Trent's eyes scan his form and the small form the rest with in his arms. Noah pulled his arm back resting at his side. He kept his face stone and emotionless Trent as Trent made his way into the room. Noah was dismayed find a smile on Trent's face as his eyes met Cody's form. "I'm glad to finally see Cody get some sleep…" Trent sat himself down in Cody's chair. "You know he refused to leave your side."

Noah turned back to the sweet boy who lay in his arms. His soft eyes fluttering under his eyelids as he drifted in dream land. A small smile on his soft lips as he snuggled in closer to Noah. Noah frowned as he spoke. "How long have I been out?"

Trent's tone was serious. "You were out for three weeks…" Noah's eyes widened. Three weeks he couldn't believe it. And Trent's next statement didn't make him feel any better. "The doctor's didn't expect you to wake up at all…" Noah sighed pinching the bridge of his nose as he absorbed the information. That was three weeks of his life he would never get back. Trent Nodded to Noah from the corner of his eye as he spoke calmly. "Cody's the only one that didn't loose hope… He cares a lot about you…" Noah turned to Trent his eye brows arching in confusion as Trent continued to speak. "Ever since I got to the resort, You were all he ever talked about… And each time you avoided him… It was like you broke a small piece of his heart…" Noah turned away his face stone as he refused to show his guilt, he refused to make eye contact with Trent. Instead his eyes remained glued to the IV in his hand. "But you know Cody… He never lets anyone see when he's upset… always worried about other people…" Trent had a smile of brotherly love as he gazed at Noah's Prize. "But I'm glad you talked it all out… Did you tell him how you felt?"

Noah's eyes widened slightly. He glared back at Trent in confusion. His tone stern as he spoke. "Why are you asking me that?"

Trent groaned slightly as he met Noah's gaze. "You don't need to pretend anymore… I mean look at you two, any one could see the way you feel about him…" Noah blushed turning his gaze away from Trent's, his eyebrows knitted together. "You know I haven't seen him smile like that in a while…" Trent chuckled. "I can't understand how some one so loving and selfless could fall for some as bitter as you…" Noah sneered at his statement, his anger evident in his eyes. But Trent just continued, un-intimidated. "I asked him… and you know what he said…" Trent spoke a soft smile gracing his lips as he met Noah's gaze. "That you were some one who actually cared about him who noticed him… That even though you were a jerk to everyone else… You were always so nice to him… It made him feel special…"

Noah cut him off in annoyance as he glared back at Trent. He didn't need to be lectured by Trent of all people. "Why are you telling me all this?" Even though the sentiment touched his heart, the guilt that raged inside him was too much to bear. And Trent was one of the last people he wanted to discuss his "feelings" with.

Trent looked back his eyes focused on Noah, a steady glare. "I'm telling you all this because I want to make sure you'll treat him right…"

Noah scoffed sarcastically. "You're one to talk…"

Trent spoke his frustration evident in his tone. "If this is a jab at Gwen save it…" He motioned to the pair and smiled in false triumph. " If anything you should me thanking me." Trent's tone altered showing the seriousness of his next statement. "Now all you need to do is figure out a way to tell Justin. I mean you need to break up with him for Cody's sake."

Noah sneered, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "You really are a saint aren't you…" Noah motioned to Cody. "I'm sure this has nothing to do with the guilt you feel after stealing his crush Gwen away…" Though he knew his anger was misplaced. "Just throw him to anyone who's willing… " He just didn't want to talk about Justin to anyone. He wanted to say anything to drive him away, to make him leave him alone. "At least now you won't have to worry about Cody hitting on your girl friend anymore…" Plus he being there only reminded him of the simple fact. He wasn't Cody's first choice. He knows he should just be happy with the moment he had with Cody now. But it still hurt to know that Cody had just settled for him.

"You really have no idea what you're talking about." This time it was Trent's turn to glare. And the anger that he held in his eyes would intimidate anyone… anyone but Noah. Who because of his dealings with his controlling father and bullying siblings, was almost immune to the feeling of intimidation. "Look I don't know what your deal is… But I am trying to help you…" Noah scoffed rolling his eyes at that statement. "I know this whole sexuality thing is a touchy subject for you but you need to get over it…" Noah glared, at Trent. It was a touchy subject.

"It is so drop it…" It took him a long time for him to finally come to terms with it, and even longer to finally admit to Izzy and Eva he was gay. And After Justin found out and ruined his life. And sleeping with Justin, Izzy and Eva rejected him, left him all alone and in pain. It was completely understandable that he wouldn't trust anyone with this secret.

It was torture having Trent try and pry it out of him. Do gooder Trent… trying to do the right thing and repay Cody for setting him and Gwen up. "If you keep acting like this you're just going to drive Cody away!" Trent stood up pushing the chair aside as he peered into Noah's eyes. "You need to learn how to trust people." Noah knew he was right he did. But how could he trust Trent. Yes Cody trusted Trent and they had a small conversations here and there on the Island. But After Justin he didn't know who to trust.

Noah's voice rose slightly as he addressed Trent. "Trust has brought me nothing but misery…" Noah's eyes widened slightly as the form stirred. Cursing under his breathe he wished he had kept his voice low.

To his surprise Trent spoke softly, motioning to Cody. "He trusts me… Look…" Trent sighed, causing Noah looked up to meet Trent's gaze. "All I want is to see Cody happy… Can you at least promise me that?"

Noah sighed nodding softly. "Fine…" Looking directly into Trent's eyes, his voice was firm. "You can trust that I'll do everything in my power to make sure Cody's happy."

The pair's eyes met for what seemed like hours. Neither wavering in the slightest as Trent analyzed his face. The stand off ended as Trent uttered a simple "Good…" a small smile gracing his lips. "I'll hold you too it…" And with Trent he made his way out of Noah's hospital room. The door clicking closed as Noah was once again left alone with Cody in his arms.

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**_A/N: _**_Kinda used Trent as a way to show you guys what Cody was going through. And just how long Cody liked Noah :3. R&R Please :3. I hope it was worth the wait._


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